Even When We Fail, We Can Still Win

By Jody Hedlund, @JodyHedlund

This year I failed at NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). I took up the challenge to write 50,000 words in November, hoping to complete a new novel. Over the past couple of years that I've participated in NaNo, I've "won" which means I've met the goal of writing 50,000 words in one month. So I thought I'd have no trouble this year too.

But in spite of my best intentions and my very best efforts, I fell short by 3,000 words. Even burning the midnight oil on both ends, I just couldn't do it.

At first I felt like a failure for not finishing and made all kinds of excuses for myself. I'd had to stop writing for several days earlier in the month because I had to finish line edits and return them to my publisher. That kind of editing is time and energy consuming.

Then in the later part of the month, the unexpected happened. My grandmother died. I had a busy week of making travel arrangements, driving eight hours to the funeral, staying with family, and then turning around and driving home through precarious weather conditions. Needless to say, after I got home, I was incapacitated for a day from grief and a stress-migraine.

During the midst of all of that, I was attempting to get my website ready for its December 2 showcase. And obviously I had a great deal to do to get ready for my newest book, Love Unexpected, to launch on December 2 as well.

Yes, excuses, excuses, excuses. Sometime they're legitimate and sometimes they're not. The simple truth is that there will be plenty of times when we fail.

We fail to meet a writing goals, word counts, weekly totals.

We fail to meet a publishing deadline.

We fail to get the positive reviews we hoped for.

We fail to final in a contest.

We fail to get the attention of the publishers we wanted to work with.

We fail to make as much money as we wanted.

We fail to increase our social media platform, even though we've worked hard to gain exposure.

We fail to make the story or book turn out the way that we anticipated.

Over the years, I've learned that there are lots of ways we writers fail. Disappointments, melt downs, and moments of falling flat on our faces. Those times are inevitable. For all of us.

Of course social media can have a candy-coating effect, making it seem like everything for everyone else is always SO wonderful. But if we take the time to look past the sugary-sweet facade, we'll see that even the best authors have rough days.

Everyone fails from time to time. We have no control over that. But we do have control with how we deal with the failure. The difference between those who go on to have successful writing careers and those who peter out and eventually fall away has to do with how we handle our failures.

Successful authors DO fall down. They feel hurts, disappointment, frustration, and even feel like giving up from time to time. I have.

But once successful authors fall down, they don't stay down. They pick themselves back up, brush off the dirt and dust, and then begin to creep forward once more. Maybe they barely crawl along. But they don't stop. They inch forward, until little by little they're walking, running, and perhaps even soaring again.

Yes, I failed NaNo this year. I had a mini-pity party for a few hours (and drowned my sorrows in a chocolate brownie sundae). But then the following week, I plunked myself back in my chair, opened up the story, and pushed myself until I reached the end. I completed my 19th full length novel. 14 of those are either published or slated for publication.

If I'd given up every time I felt like a failure, I would never have reached the point I'm at today. So, dear friend, if you're feeling discouraged or feeling like giving up, remember you're not alone.

Remember that even when you fail, you can still win.

What disappointments have you faced recently? Have you felt like giving up? Are you picking yourself back up and continuing onward in the midst of the failure?

13 Reasons to Keep Writing in 2013

By Jody Hedlund, @JodyHedlund

I have to admit, there have been times when I've been tempted to quit writing.

We all face enormous pressures—such as family members who don't like what we're doing, the stress of juggling multiple responsibilities while trying to write, the frustration at how slow our career is moving forward, and disappointment in expectations that haven't been realized.

The list could go on and on.

The fact is, the writing life is hard.

And the temptation to give up is often strong for many of us.

As we begin 2013, I'd like to start the year on a note of hope—13 reasons why we should keep writing, even on the days when we'd like to give up . . .

1. Write because it provides an outlet for the other stressors of life.

2. Write because we love creating and telling stories.

3. Write because there are more opportunities for publication and success than ever before. If one door closes, there are still many options available.

4. Write because we want to be good stewards of the gifts and abilities we've been given.

5. Write because we want to challenge ourselves to do something hard but rewarding.

6. Write because we want to bring joy, hope, and healing to others through our written words.

7. Write because we appreciate the beauty of words and crafting sentences.

8. Write because we need to pour out the passion that resides deep in our hearts.

9. Write because it challenges us to use our brains, to think, and be intelligent.

10. Write because it provides a place where we can attempt to make sense of a sometimes crazy and painful world.

11. Write because it is a means for communicating universal truths.

12. Write because we find great joy in the creative process itself.

13. Write because we have to, because without it we'd be empty.

Notice I didn't say write for fame and fortune or for getting an agent or book deal.

Yes, those kinds of things are nice. I'm the first to admit I get excited whenever I get a check in the mail.

But . . . ultimately our writing success isn't measured in popularity, money, agents, or book deals. And if we're writing to get any one of those things, we'll likely be disappointed in the long run. Because eventually money gets spent, popularity fades, agents change, and book deals come and go.

However, if we're writing for any of the above 13 reasons, then we have motivation to keep going when everything else looks bleak and when we're tempted to quit.

Next time you feel like giving up, get at the heart of why you're REALLY writing and give yourself hope to carry on.

Share with us! What keeps you writing when you're tempted to give up?

Know Your Own Writing Journey & Go at Your Own Pace

I was driving my son to guitar lessons and racing to get him there on time. I got behind a car that was going less than 25 mph in a 40 zone (of course).

“Can you go any slower?” I called.

The car seemed to slow down even more (if that were possible), almost as if the driver had heard me.

My son smirked the way only 14-year-olds can.

My lead foot started to go into convulsions from having to let up on the gas pedal. “Come on,” I whined. “Can’t you see we’re in a hurry?”

I’m sure it comes as no surprise to realize that I tackle most things in life with drive, speed, and determination. And apparently, those traits carry over into getting my son to guitar lessons.

Once I finally maneuvered around the snail-paced car, I glanced in my review mirror. And as I quickly put distance between myself and the slow driver, I couldn’t keep from noticing the woman’s serene expression.

She was obviously enjoying her ver-ry slo-ow ride. She didn’t mind crawling along and didn’t appear to be noticing the other cars (like mine) that were zipping past her.

As I thought about the incident, I was reminded that just because I like going fast, doesn’t mean everyone else will. Some people are perfectly content to mosey along.

We’re all moving at different paces and that’s okay—in life and in writing. We don’t all have to go at FAST. In fact, sometimes I wonder if those of us who are zipping along have a more difficult time with having patience, savoring life, and being content.

I admit, I fall into the trap of envying those ahead of me on the road, seeing how fast they’re going, watching all that’s happening to them, and wishing I was driving right alongside them. It’s so easy to look around at what everyone else is doing and think I need to be doing more, need to be moving quicker in order to keep in the race.

And sometimes, perhaps I even make others feel like they’re not doing enough, that they should be keeping up with what I’m doing, that they’re too far behind. While I would never do this intentionally, I’m sure that does happen occasionally. (And if I’ve ever made you feel that way, I sincerely apologize!)

Is the writing journey really a race? Do we all have to be running as hard as we can after publication and success? Or do we need to settle into a pace that is uniquely ours?

Just because some writers can write 1000 words in an hour, doesn’t mean I have to. Just because some writers can pump out multiple books in one year, doesn’t mean I have to. Just because some writers blog every day doesn’t mean I have to.

The point is our lives and our writing journeys are each unique.

I can’t spend my time trying to keep up with other authors with all their marketing efforts, with how many books they’re writing, and all of the other things they’re doing.

And others can’t think that they need to keep up with all that I’m doing.

We each have to take the time to figure out our own writing journeys and what works for us in our unique situations.

One of the things that has helped me keep my writing journey in perspective is that I’ve written out the various steps of my path to publication. Incidentally, when we speak with book groups or organizations, we’ll likely need to write out our journey anyway. Just last week I spoke to a women’s group and gave a 45-minute power point presentation, which included sharing about my writing journey.

I highly recommend taking the time to write down what sparked our interest in writing, who or what influenced us most, along with all the setbacks and accomplishments that have led to where we’re at today. Readers will want to know.

Aside from having a succinct, well-written and entertaining description of our writing journey to share with readers, when we take the time to examine where we’ve been and where we are now, it helps remind us just how unique we are.

Don’t let others determine YOUR pace. You decide whether you need to go at a crawl, baby steps, a pleasant stroll, or a sprint. The pace isn’t as important as much as the fact that we don’t stop moving forward. When we keep up our momentum no matter how fast or slow, we’ll get where we want to go eventually.

“It is not by muscle, speed, or physical dexterity that great things are achieved, but by reflection, force of character, and judgment.” ~Cicero

So what about you? Are you trying too hard to keep up with those around you instead of going at the pace that works best for you?

Dream Big. Work Fiercely.

I recently attended a local writer’s conference where I had the opportunity to mingle with writer friends I’ve met online. And I had the chance to meet some new writers.

As I walked into this particular one-day conference, a woman and her daughter approached me and introduced themselves to me. “My daughter was hoping you’d come so she could meet you.” The woman smiled at me. “She read your book and enjoyed it.”

I shook hands with the daughter, always excited to meet a new reader. At first I assumed the mom was the writer attending the conference and that she’d brought along her daughter for the fun of it. But I quickly realized that the daughter was the writer and that the mom was there for support.

As things turned out, I ended up sitting across the table from the mother-daughter pair, Chris and Amanda Barratt. During the course of the day, I was able to learn more about Amanda’s writing journey.

I was amazed to find out Amanda is 14 years old, writes 1000 words a day, has completed four novels, and has already begun to pitch her books at various major writing conferences. Not only has she begun to attend writer's conferences, but she also has a professional blog and has started interviewing published authors (and this week she interviewed me! Check it out here!)

The encounter with this amazing young woman was inspiring. I went home and told my older children about her, hoping I could encourage them in two simple things:

1. Don’t be afraid to dream big.

Dreams are free for everyone. It doesn’t matter who you are, where you’re from, or what your background is. Dreams have no boundaries. Most of us live in a time and place where we have the freedom to choose to be or do anything. Class, gender, race, money, even age—none of that matters anymore.

If we’re not dreaming big, it’s likely because we’re stopping ourselves rather than someone else holding us back. We could be hung up by fear of failure, laziness, lack of inspiration, or any number of personal inhibitions.

I asked my children to look at what they enjoy, the areas where they’re gifted, and the things they’re most passionate about. Then I challenged them to get excited about something, to pursue it with abandon, to think positively about accomplishing that particular aspiration.

I told them, “If Amanda Barratt at age 14 can start living out her dream of being a writer, you can start living out your dreams too.”

The lesson is true for all of us. Start dreaming big. Don’t put it off. We can begin living out our dreams today.

2. Be willing to work really hard.

Anyone can dream. That’s the easy part. But it takes infinitely more than wishful thinking to make our dreams come true.

Amanda is off to a great start at realizing her dream of becoming a published author. She’s not just sitting around talking about how she wants to become a writer someday, or how she’ll get more serious about it when she’s older, or how she’ll invest in her writing career when she’s more certain of her future. Instead, she’s pursuing it with all her might NOW.

We can have great intentions, but we have to follow them up with plain-and-simple hard work. That means we have to make plans, plot out our goals, and then do the daily work of getting from here to there—even when we wake up some days and feel like giving up on our dream.

The fact is, if a young 14 year old can write 1000 words a day and complete four books, then the rest of us have no excuses.

Absolutely no excuses whatsoever.

We need to stop complaining, stand up (or sit up!), and get to work.

Dream big, but work fiercely.

What do you think? Are you dreaming big enough? And are you working hard enough to make your dreams become reality? (Aren't you as inspired by Amanda as I am?!)

*Photo credit: flickr Heidi 0201

Help For Climbing the Difficult Hills

What I Learned About Life & Writing From . . . Climbing Sand Dunes

Have you ever faced a situation that looked impossible? Too stressful, too much work, too big to handle? You may have stared at the problem or task and couldn't even figure out where to start. It was just too overwhelming.

I’ve felt that way often. Sometimes I think my wonderful writer's imagination gets the best of me and I blow the situation out of proportion—I see a mountain to climb, when really it’s only a hill. For example, recently, as I looked ahead to the fall schedule, the start of a new school year, and all that I have going on, I panicked. I thought to myself, “My days are going to be so busy, how am I going to get any writing time at all?”

I was seeing a mountain and my mom had to remind me that it was really just a hill. She said something like, “Yes, it looks impossible. But you’ve always managed every year. You’ll get into a routine, and you’ll find a way to make it work.”

Last week, my family and I went to Sleeping Bear Dunes in northwestern Michigan. We hiked on sandy trails through the dunes, viewed the majesty of the steep cliffs overlooking Lake Michigan, dipped into the crystal clear waters. And last but not least, we climbed the BIG dune (that's half  of the hill in the above picture).

From far away, the dune doesn’t look all that big or steep. It’s not much more than a really long hill. But up close, from the bottom, we couldn’t see the top, and it appeared much longer and harder to climb—more like a mountain.

There were several things that helped me in my efforts to climb the dune, things that can help all of us as we tackle the hills we face in our writing and life.

Put one foot in front of the other.

As I climbed the dune, my feet sank into the soft, hot sand. The more steps I took, the more my muscles burned and my lungs stung. But I didn’t look up and I didn’t look down. Instead I focused on making my feet move forward, one foot in front of the other.

I found the same principle to be true in finishing my rewrites on Book #2 this week. When I first got my rewrites back from my publisher over a month ago, they looked like a mountain. But once I started making the changes, I took it one scene at a time. I challenged myself to complete one chapter a day. I pushed myself through the burning pain and kept going until I finally reached the summit.

Whether it’s finishing a book, a project, or an obligation—whatever it is, we need the self-discipline, determination, and will-power to keep moving steadily upward.

Go at my own pace.

My older children practically ran up the dune. I could blame my much slower pace on my four year old whose hand I was holding. But . . . I admit, I just don’t have the exuberant energy of a teenager anymore. In fact, I was quite content to dilly-dally with my youngest.

It’s easy for us to get discouraged with where we’re at, especially in the writing journey. We see others bounding ahead of us and wonder why we can’t keep up. There may even be times when we look behind us and secretly pat ourselves on the back because we’ve made it further than others.

What I’m learning is that we can’t compare our position on the hill with others ahead or behind us. We’re all in different places, moving at different speeds. There are some who have more energy and time to devote to the climb. And others who truly enjoy a more leisurely pace.

Remember that reaching the top is NOT impossible.

There were plenty of others who made it to the top of the dunes, some who were much older than me, and even two and three year olds. I figured if they could do it, surely I could too. The important thing was believing in myself and reminding myself that I could reach the summit eventually--if I just kept moving forward. I didn’t have to be the best athlete or strongest climber to make it.

Likewise, with our writing journeys or the problems we’re facing, we need to remind ourselves that we don’t have to be the best or most brilliant to make it to the top. James Scott Bell in Plot & Structure says this: "The Truth is that craft can be taught and that you, with diligence and practice and patience, can improve your writing. . . The main difference between successful writers and unsuccessful writers is persistence."

Sure, genius and talent can possibly make the climb quicker. But with steady, determined steps, the rest of us can keep on moving toward the top too.

What about you? What kind of hills are you climbing lately in writing or life? Have you been tempted to give up? What helps you in your efforts to keep going?

Working in Small Steps But Seeing the Big Picture

What I Learned About Life & Writing From . . . Legos.

The favorite toy of both my sons is Legos. Over the years, we’ve set a new world record for the number of Legos that can fit into one house. Just last week as we celebrated my younger son’s seventh birthday, we acquired even more—yep, you guessed it—Legos! (Now we’re considering adding a separate room on to our house--one just for displaying Lego projects.)

All kidding aside, as I was looking at the Legos spread over the carpet, and as I watched my son struggle to piece together 500+ tiny blocks into some semblance of order, I realized writing is a lot like building with Legos.

In fact life is like building with Legos. Sometimes events and problems spill around us. All of the different shapes and sizes overwhelm us. It looks like chaos and we wonder how we’ll ever be able to make anything good out of the mess.

My son had to use the instruction manual, had to have order, and sometimes needed to call for help. There were times when he fell back on the floor in frustration. There were even times when he needed to give himself a break and do something else for a while.

The same is true of us when we’re facing the chaos that life dumps upon us. And yes, I think that we can even apply the principles to our writing. Here’s what I’ve learned from Legos:

Work Small: Take it One Step at a Time

Anytime something looks overwhelming, it’s easy to toss up our hands and say, “This is too hard. I can’t do it.” When we’re trying to get started into a book or are in the middle of editing, the 80,000 words look daunting and messy. When we’re trying to find writing time in the middle of a busy and chaotic life, we’re often overwhelmed and it’s easy to get discouraged.

Sometimes we need to take a step back and break down the problem into smaller chunks that are manageable. When my son started putting together his new Lego kit, he took it one page at a time. Because he focused on a specific section, he could make slow but steady progress forward.

Likewise, I’ve found that when I break my novel down by scenes, I’m able to work better by focusing on one small section at a time. Whether in the first draft or in the editing phase, I’m less likely to feel overwhelmed. And when I’m discouraged about finding writing time, I can break that into smaller chunks too. I don’t have to wait until I have one full hour before I write. I can take 15 minutes. Those little pieces will all eventually add up.

On the long journey to publication, we can learn to take things one step at a time and not rush ahead of ourselves. If we try to skip steps, we may find ourselves with a shaky, crumbling story or a set of unnecessary rejections.

See Big: Keep the Larger Picture in View

While we need to work small, we also need to see big. We need to know what we’re aiming for, where we’re headed, what the final goal looks like. It’s easy while we’re in the midst of the daily grind to lose focus of the larger picture.

When my son was in the middle of piecing together 500 tiny blocks, he kept the big box right in front of him. Seeing the desired finished product gave him extra motivation during the hard times, especially when he was tempted to give up.

We’re wise to keep the end in sight too. That requires that we know what we’re aiming for. A friend recently asked me this question: “Why do you write?” It's a great question for each of us to answer. The surface answer for many writers might be, “Because I want to get published.” But then I'd ask, “But why do you want to get published?”

Publication is a worthy goal, but we need to dig deeper than that. If publication is still years and years in the distance, what keeps us writing? What will motivate us to write once we finally are published? In other words, what is the big picture reason we write?

Because stories burn inside us and we can’t hold them in? Because we want to offer hope to the hurting? Because we want to bring to life the heroes and stories of the past to a generation who needs to remember?

Those are just a few of my reasons for writing. What are yours? And are you working small but seeing big?

More Advantages

Recently we talked about the difficulties new authors face in trying to get through the traditional publishing door. Let's face it, getting in is tough.

It goes without saying that we have to study the craft of writing, perfect our skills, and have an excellent story. But sometimes that's not enough to get noticed and move ahead.

Are there ways for unpublished writers to get an advantage, to get a few steps closer to the door? Here's my list again, and then I've added all of your ideas for getting an advantage:

• Win a writing contest.
• Find an incredible, fresh, never-been-touched story idea.
• Look for an untapped niche in the genre market.
• Meet an editor or agent at a writing conference and spark their interest.
• Make regular comments on agent blogs.
• Hire the help of a professional editor.
• Target specific agents for our genre.
• Make friends with an author who can pass along your manuscript.
• Think outside the box and be flexible.
• Never, ever give up; writing is subjective.
• Submit new works consistently to the same editors.
• Share our writing widely.
• Volunteer at a conferences or workshops.
• Trust God and pray for guidance.

Will doing any of these things really help move us ahead?

From personal experience I can say that finaling in a contest gave me a push to the top of the slush pile. But I did many of the other things listed above too: I found a fresh story idea, hired a professional editor, targeted specific agents, never gave up, and ultimately trusted God for guidance.

Often it's the combination of hard work and perseverance that eventually pays off. So, my question for you today is this: What is your next step? Which of the above suggestions are you working on to give you more of an advantage? Are there any new things you need to try?

More about my experience with professional editing tomorrow. . .

Persevering on the Path

Everyone shared some great thoughts yesterday about ways to make our blogs appealing to agents and editors who might stop by. Here are just a few of the suggestions:

• Links to samples of online publications of work
• Links to excerpts of manuscripts (not more than 10%)
• List of completed (and contracted) works
• Cover of book (s) you've written or contributed to
• Credentials and awards in blog profiles
• Links to website, FB, Twitter, etc.
• E-mail address for further contact

Thanks for so many great ideas! I'll be working on trying to implement some of them in the future. Jeanette Levellie offered an excellent reminder: the more bells and whistles we have the longer our pages take to load, especially for those with dial-up.

To sum up our week talking about contest results, check out this article Making Sense of Contest Results on Keli Gwyn's blog.

And finally, I really enjoyed reading Janna Qualman's blog post this week It's My Path. I loved the simple way she summed up the writing journey by saying that we have to step back and look at what's best for each of us individually without comparing our steps to others.

No matter where we're at on the writing journey, we'll be tempted to compare. Whether we're a young aspiring writer, newly agented, or even a published author, we all struggle with the comparison game. Believe it or not, even though I had one of my best weeks yet as a writer, I still found myself comparing and consequently feeling discouraged!

I have to remind myself that I'm on this writing path because ultimately I love writing, that I'd still write even if I was the only one.

Let's encourage one another today. Ultimately why do you write? And do you have anything to share that might encourage us all to keep on persevering?

Have a great Memorial Weekend! See you next Tuesday!

Enjoy Being Three

This week we have talked about all of the waiting we do as writers. If we could come up with a collective total of all of our waiting, I wonder how many thousands of years we would accumulate!

My youngest daughter, my bundle of joy, summed up the entire waiting process quite well.

Yesterday as she perched on the bench at our kitchen table, she proudly stretched out five fingers and announced, "I'm five."

Being the ever-teaching mommy that I am, I quickly held up three fingers and said, "No, sweetie, you're three. See, one, two, three."

She looked at my fingers then stuck out her bottom lip. "I don't want to be three anymore. I want to be five."

Her sweet little declaration echoed my inner struggle. I don't want to be a wannabe writer any more. I want to be published. I'm "three" in writing years, but I'd rather be "five."

The reality is that I can't skip ahead in my writing career any more than my daughter can skip ahead in her age. So. . .what do we do with all that impatience that keeps building and building until we feel like we'll go crazy with the pressure of waiting?

I loved your comments this week and I thought I'd share just a few of the many that encouraged me:

Katie: We could look at this [waiting] as an utter waste of time. Or we could ask ourselves what we did while waiting in line. Did we pray, bond with friends/family, reach out to a stranger, enjoy the time?

Cindy: Continue working on something. If you've finished one manuscript and polished it, and sent out queries, don't just sit and wait for something to happen. Start a new project. Work toward the future of your writing.

Melissa: It was a lesson in patience. He [God] showed me that it was the process that is most important - the actual writing, not the publishing.

Wendy: I think God is trying to do some of the essential work while we wait. We can resist or we can take notice to what He's doing during the wait.

Robin: My husband used to say I'll be happy when I have this or this. I always told him, if you aren't happy with what you have now, what makes you think you'll be happy when you get it (whatever it is. ) Be happy with now and enjoy the journey or else you'll miss some amazing experiences.

Lady Glamis: I like to have the vision that the path is the worthwhile part, and that publishing really is a goal that might best be reached after we have grown and suffered for it. . . In the meantime, write away! And enjoy it!

My summary: Enjoy being three; you'll be five soon enough!

Do you have any other encouraging words about waiting? I have just loved hearing your thoughts this week. It's given me fresh perspective. Thank you!