A Pep Talk For Writers Struggling to Find Writing Time

By Jody Hedlund, @JodyHedlund

If you've been reading my blog long enough, you'll know that I'm a homeschooling mom of five children (although my oldest just graduated and is now in college). Like most teachers, I LOVE my summers off, especially because it allows me to spend extra time on my writing that I don't have during the school year.

My school years are filled with instructing my children as well as teaching a Grammar and Composition class for high school students. Both require a lot of time and effort (picture me most evenings grading essays that my students write!). In addition to my teaching job, I also have all of the other mom-duties that come with having large family–cooking big meals, trying not to drown in laundry, running kids to all of their many activities, etc.

As a teacher and mom, my schedule is already jam-packed. But add on to that a very full time writing job. This year I'm attempting to keep up with publishing three books with three different publishers. It's been a blast! But in addition to writing the books, it's also meant more editing, more marketing, and more administrative work.

Just recently at the start of a new school year, I sat down with my calendar and scratched my head, wondering how in the world I would be able to fit in time to write. Between school, piano lessons, art class, ballet, cross country, choir, youth group and host of other activities that are starting, I had a moment of panic.

But then, I took a deep breath and gave myself my annual pep talk, which goes something like this:

1. If you want this badly enough, you can do it. You love writing. It brings you great joy and fulfillment to weave stories. In the craziness of life, your story-world is a peaceful place to escape. So don't give up. You'd miss it too much.

2. You can find writing time each day if you look closely enough for it. You can find a hour or two. Yes, you might have to sacrifice something else to find that hour or two (like sleep or TV or baking homemade cookies). But you can find the time somewhere if you look closely enough.

3. Block out that writing time and don't waver from it. Once you find a window of opportunity to write (even if it's different every day), block it out on the calendar. Literally.

4. Be consistent even when you're tired, sick, and don't feel like writing. Of course you can't prevent emergencies. But barring a tornado or plane crashing into your home, sit your butt in the chair and write.

5. Look for ways to get extended writing time. You need those longer chunks of time too. Work with your significant other, parents, grandparents, or friend to take the kids or watch the dogs so that you can have a writing day or writing weekend (even if it's just once a month).

6. Demote social media and other non-essential to the leftover time. Yes, social media is fun. Yes, it's a great way to mingle with other writers. But it's a non-essential to a successful writing career. Keep it in its proper place and perspective.

7. Yes, it will be hard. But you've written under crazy circumstances in the past and you can do it again.

For all those writers who have day jobs or who are balancing busy children or who are struggling to stay consistent, my pep talk is for you too. There are seasons in our lives when finding writing time can be a huge challenge. You don't have to give up. If I can make it work, so can you!

How about YOU? Do you ever struggle to find writing time? What do you tell yourself to keep going?

What to Do When First-Chapter Fears Paralyze Us

 By Jody Hedlund, @JodyHedlund

I recently started writing a new book (a historical that releases next fall). As I was writing the first chapter, I experienced an almost paralyzing fear.

It was a fear that raised its ugly serpent head and hissed in my ear:

"Can you really write this story?"

"What if you don't have what it takes?"

"Will you be able to convey all that you hope to?"

"What if readers don't like these characters or this story?"

The doubts and insecurities followed me relentlessly through those first chapters. Even though this is the twentieth full length novel that I've written. Even though I've tackled difficult historical time periods (some even more so). Even though I've handled equally important subject matter.

The honest truth is that no matter where we're at in our writing journeys, whether on the first or fiftieth book, we all face first-chapter fears. The key, however, is NOT to let those fears cause us to freeze up, close up, or give up.

I've now reached the one-third mark of this newest book. The story is unfolding and sweeping me along with it. I admit, from time-to-time that ugly serpent still raises its head and whispers insecurities in my ear. But overall, the fears are mostly behind me.

How can we push through fears and insecurities that arise as we write our first chapters? Here are a few of my strategies: 

1. Stick with the story even though you feel like giving up.  

Don't give yourself an out. Don't even consider for a moment that you won't write the book. In fact, give yourself a deadline and tell yourself that you will persevere no matter what, that you don't have a choice.

Even on my worst of days, I give myself daily word count goals. I force myself to keep working no matter how I feel. I base my writing on a conscious decision to show up with or without the desire to write. With or without inspiration. With or without fear. I write no matter what.

 2. Write anything to get something on the page. 

You don't have to know where you're going next. You don't need to have everything figured out. Just start putting words down. Say anything, even if it seems stupid, even if it may not particularly fit. Once we release the words, eventually our creativity comes out too. Spilling words on the page loosens creativity.

I experienced this in a recent scene I was writing. I didn't know where the scene was taking me. I wanted my hero and heroine to say goodbye to one another, but I didn't know how. So I simply started writing, whether it was clichéd or not, I put it down. And as I did so, the scene began to shape itself into something unique with a fun interaction. Write first. Creativity follows.

3. Always remember that your first attempt doesn't have to be perfect. 

Nothing is ever carved in stone in the first draft. You can always go back and tweak the opening. In fact, you may need to go back to rewrite the opening altogether. That's okay. Sometimes we have to write a crappy opening in order to get the story flowing. And once the story is flowing, we're then able to go back and re-create a better, more fitting opening.

During the self-editing stage of my last book, I ended up cutting 10k out of the book before I sent it to my publisher. Then during rewrites I cut and changed even more. It was much easier for me during the editing phase to stand back, to view the book objectively, and to chop what didn't work. If I keep that philosophy in mind while I'm in the first chapters of a new book, I'm better able to persevere when fear starts to paralyze me.

How about YOU? Have you ever been paralyzed by first chapter fears? What helps you persevere?

How To Become an Amazingly Successful Author

 
By Jody Hedlund, @JodyHedlund

I'm teaching a U.S. History class this year and recently we've been studying great American inventors and entrepreneurs. It's been a fascinating and enlightening study.

First I learned the definition of an entrepreneur: A person who organizes and manages a business undertaking. He or she is willing to risk failure for a chance at success.

Isn't that a cool definition? How willing are we to risk failure for the chance at success?

Andrew Carnegie was one such entrepreneur. Most of us probably only know him as the multi-millionaire philanthropist who became the largest producer of iron and steel in the United States. At the very least, most of us have heard of Carnegie Hall in NYC, a prestigious concert stage built by Andrew Carnegie in 1891.

But did you know that Carnegie was the son of poor Scottish immigrants? That he started working at the age of 13 as a bobbin boy in a cotton mill for $1.20 a week? He worked one menial job after another until by his mid-20's he worked his way up to a railroad executive. At age 30 he finally saved up enough capital to be able to go into business for himself. With savvy and many years of hard work, his business finally grew.

John D. Rockefeller was another entrepreneur. We know him today for developing Standard Oil and becoming a billionaire in the process. The famous Rockefeller Center in Manhattan consisting of 19 buildings (and the Rockefeller Plaza) was built by the Rockefeller family in the early 1900's.

Yet Rockefeller, like Carnegie, was of very humble origins. At age 16 he worked as an assistant bookkeeper for a merchant in Cleveland earning 50 cents a day. He kept working hard and getting promoted to better jobs. He saved money so that he could go into business for himself. He insisted on frugality and efficiency throughout his business, continually working hard while still maintaining quality products until his company eventually dominated the oil industry.

Another person that I totally admire is Thomas Edison, one of the most prolific inventors in history. Among 1,093 inventions, his greatest contribution was the incandescent electric light bulb. While involved in his projects, he often worked tirelessly for days at a time in his laboratory.

There are a few Edison quotes that I especially love:

"Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration."

"I never did anything worth doing by accident, nor did any of my inventions come by accident; they came by work."

"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up."

"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time."

All three of these men were amazingly successful in their own ways. And as I studied them, I realized that if we want to become amazingly successful writers, we can take a few lessons from them.

1. Don't be afraid to start small and be a nobody for a while. These men weren't from prestigious families. They weren't loaded with connections in high places. Rather they started with the little they had and the sweat of their labor.

Too many writers want to skip over the years of being a nobody and jump right into being famous. But we have to remember that success often takes years and years. And during that time we have to work our way up the scale by the sweat of our labor.

2. Be willing to work long hours and persevere through failure. Carnegie and Rockefeller each had multiple jobs before landing "the one" that finally was successful. Edison's most famous quote is: "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

We writers can't expect easy street. The road will more likely be littered with rejections, harsh reviews, and criticism, and we'll have stories stuffed in closets that "won't work." We need all of the failure before finally landing "the one" that will work.

3. Take risks, but always strive to put forward our best product. All three of the men had to step out of ordinary, comfortable, and accepted way of doing things. They led the way in change. They weren't afraid to try new methods even if there were risks involved. But at the same time, they pushed themselves to put forth their best work.

As writers, we too have to be willing to try new ways of writing, perhaps a new genre, new style, or new method of publication. Haven't you noticed that those who are at the forefront of a genre or movement are usually the ones who end up being the most successful?

That should give us motivation to be innovative. But at the same time, we should never let anything stand in the way of always putting forth the very best books that we can possibly write.

How about YOU? Are you expecting success to be easy or are you willing to work long and hard for it?

One Important Thing Many Writers Neglect To Do While Waiting

By Jody Hedlund, @JodyHedlund

Most writers who've been writing for any length of time learn the mantra, "Persevere, persevere, persevere."

In fact, you've probably heard statistics like these about famous writers who persevered long and hard before getting published:

• Agatha Christie went through FIVE years of continual rejection before landing a publishing deal; her book sales are now over $2 billion.

• Louis L’Amour garnered 200 rejections before a publisher decided to take a chance on him; his book sales are now over $330 million.

• Janet Evanovich wrote for TEN years before getting published; she now makes millions every year.

Yes, we all know we need to persevere. That's a given in the publishing industry.

Sometimes we have to persevere because WE aren't ready. Our writing techniques lag, our story-telling skills aren't honed, and we simply need to improve.

Other times the INDUSTRY isn't quite ready for us. Agents and editors have varying tastes, needs, and constraints. And sometimes it just takes time for our book to land in the hands of someone who loves it and wants to champion it.

There are even times when the READING PUBLIC isn't ready for us. Perhaps our genre or niche isn't commercially appealing, yet. The public doesn't see the value in what we're writing since they're still in love with the current trends.

Whatever the reason, many published authors can attest to the years of waiting before getting their big breaks. I wrote for about seven or eight years before I broke in to traditional publication. I had written at least seven books by the time I landed my first publishing deal.

In addition to persevering, most of us also know that we need to continue to write while we're waiting. It does us no good to pour our lives into one book and then sit back and wait for something to happen to our darling. We must keep on writing.

Continuing to write takes our mind off the waiting (mostly!). And it gives us more practice along with more books to potentially sell when we finally garner attention.

Yes. Persevere. And write, write, write. As I said, most writers get that.

However, I think there's one thing many writers neglect to do while waiting and writing . . . and it could be a factor for why some writers end up waiting for so long. They forget to MAXIMIZE practice time.

You see, it's not enough just to write. Anyone can continually write and have an enormous quantity. But quantity doesn't equate improved quality.

I liken the writing process to running (which I attempt to do with some regularity). I try to run every day at the same pace and the same number of miles. Over the past couple of years, I've accumulated quite a lot of miles on my Nike Running App. Such a regime means that I'm not getting worse, but it also means I'm never getting any better. I'm certainly not ready for any competitive races. If I really want to improve, I'd need to challenge myself to run a little faster or consciously push myself in small increments to go a longer distance.

The same is true of our writing. Yes, we need to keep steadily writing. But if we want to improve, we have to consciously challenge ourselves to take small steps forward by being intentional, incremental, and inspirational.

Be Intentional:

Analyze our words and sentences. Examine our weaknesses. Let others point them out to us (through critiques, contests, or writing partners). Then look for "coaches" either via writing books, blogs, or mentors who can help us improve our techniques.

Be Incremental:

Make a plan to implement new techniques in our writing. Take those small incremental steps to try something different. Practice with conscious effort (whether that's improving dialog or eliminating over-telling or any number of weaknesses).

At first we may have to go slower as we catch our mistakes and retrain ourselves to write differently. The process may feel cumbersome. But eventually, we'll find ourselves utilizing that new technique smoothly and even effortlessly.

Be Inspirational:

Find ways to draw new inspiration, to invigorate our writing with freshness, vivacity, and uniqueness. (See my recent post on 15 Ways to Find Inspiration in 2015).

How about YOU? Have you had to wait? What steps are you taking to make sure you're improving and not just staying in the same spot?

15 Ways to Find Writing Inspiration in 2015

By Jody Hedlund, @JodyHedlund

Happy New Year!

At the start of every year, I like to search for ways to inspire my writing to greater depths. While I'm a firm believer in BIC writing with or without inspiration, it's always pleasant to have a rare burst of creative characterizing, poetic prose, or brilliant brainstorming. (BIC = Butt-In-Chair)

Yes, most of the time, I write without the fairy dust. But that doesn't mean I don't seek ways to inspire my writing with more beauty and meaning. So in an effort to inspire all of us, here are 15 ways to find writing inspiration in 2015:

1. Find things to smile about. We should uncover the hidden joys that surround us. Sometimes we get so busy we forget to take the time to see the small things that can make us smile. Sometimes we forget to laugh at ourselves and with others. Looking for humor in life, helps us better able to add it to our stories (and every story needs lighter moments in some form).

2. Feel pain deeply. When we face difficulties,we can't be afraid to embrace the plethora of emotions that go with it. We should let the pain filter through us fully and not avoid it. We need to cry, weep, feel frustrated, and taste depression. When we do, we can write about those emotions much more realistically in our characters.

3. Go below the surface. We need to top taking issues at face value (whether political issues, world trauma, or personal difficulties). We should peel away the layers and look deeper at problems than we ever have before. This helps heighten our awareness of motivations. And it also makes us better able to weave in eternal truths that will resonate with a broader audience.

4. Study people. Instead of letting people pass us by without taking a second glance, we should slow down and study humanity. We can look at the way people react differently to the same situation. We can analyze their habits, mannerisms, and uniquenesses. And we can study their faces, expressions, ticks, and all of the things that make them different from others.

5. Collect words, ideas, and metaphors. Everywhere we go, we can raise our radars to become more aware of interesting words, ideas, and metaphors. Whether we're in line at the grocery store or at the dentist office, we can be on the lookout for the strange and unique. But we can also try to view the ordinary with new eyes.

6. Make better use of movie time. We all watch movies (and/or TV). And most of the time we simply allow ourselves to be entertained. But we can turn movie time into "work time" by watching more thoughtfully and gleaning ideas for characters and plot. We can pick and choose characters that especially stand out to use as a basis for one of our characters. Or we can take plot twists and use them as a spring board for something in our novels.

7. Listen to inspiring music. Lately I've been listening to lots of piano and cello music (my current favorite is The Piano Guys). The incredibly complex cacophony of instruments surges through my blood. There’s something about beautiful music that restores beauty to our souls and stimulates our moods that then spills over into our stories.

8. Take time to focus on sensory details. A gently floating snowflake, the lustrous velvety fur of my kitty, the creaking of the branches outside my window, the rich aroma of the garlic and sage in the spaghetti sauce. How can we write sensory details in our stories if we don’t stop and experience them for ourselves?

9. Read writing craft books. My favorites are Plot & Structure by James Scott Bell, Characters, Emotions, & Viewpoints by Nancy Kress, The First Five Pages by Noah Lukeman, Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Browne and King. I own these and re-read them frequently. They're dog-eared, highlighted, and full of notes.

10. Read books outside our comfort zone. Over the past couple of years, I've been branching out and reading books in genres that I might not normally read. I can't say that I like each one I read. But I learn something new about writing techniques and story-telling with each book.

11. Study great books. Every time I read great books (award-winning or classical) I usually end up taking lots of notes. I enjoy studying the characterization, plot development, the usage of similes and metaphors, and all of the other techniques. I try to figure out what made the books popular in their day and why they still have a timeless appeal.

12. Make real connections. Nowadays, we spend more and more time behind a screen interacting with people as opposed to connecting in real. While there's nothing wrong with having online friendships (and in fact it can be a wonderful blessing), it can't replace face to face interactions where we're truly able to get to know people on a deeper level. If our primary relationships are shallow off the page, then how can we expect depth in our characters on the page?

13. Try writing something new. I've branched out into writing YA and have found that it has opened my creative juices in a new way. I've also recently written two novellas which has stretched my writing muscles too. When we try new genres, styles, or new techniques, we give ourselves a fresh outlook, even if eventually we go back to the tried-and-true.

14. Read a historical biography or memoir. Even those who aren't historical writers can benefit from reading history, particularly reading biographies or memoirs. I recently read Night by Elie Wiesel a memoir of his experience in German concentration camps. Of course we read so that we don't forget the past and make the same mistakes, but we also learn so much about the present when we delve into the lives of others who've come before us. Such reading enriches our experiences of life.

15. Never fail to ask "What If?" All too often our imagination is turned off in our practical, news-headline dominated world. But we can't forget to dream, be curious, and imagine the impossible. We can't be afraid to be a little crazy, to wander off the path, and to search for rainbows. Sometimes we have to let our imagination get wild and carried away in the first draft. We can always go back and tame and temper our wildness during editing if need be.

What are some other ways YOU find inspiration for your writing?

Is Writing Under Inspiration Just a Huge Myth?

By Jody Hedlund, @JodyHedlund

A friend gave me a really cute Pearls Before Swine comic by Stephan Pastis that was titled, "A Day in the Life of a Writer." The comic starts off with a little mouse in front of a computer saying, "Today I will write ten pages." But then as the day progresses, he comes up with one excuse after another to NOT write. 

First the little mouse steps away from his computer because he needs coffee. Then he realizes he's hungry. Once he's eaten breakfast, he decides he needs inspiration and so he watches YouTube for a while. By then it's lunch time so he takes another break. 

After lunch he says, "Still not inspired. I need a walk." And on it goes, one excuse after another all day. Until finally by 5:00 pm he hasn't written a word.

Of course we all chuckle when we see comics like that, because we can totally relate. We've faced days exactly like the little mouse, days when getting a root canal seems easier (and perhaps preferable) to writing ten pages.

The truth is, all writers, no matter their stage, have crappy days.  There are plenty of days when I wake up bleary-eyed, fighting a migraine, with a to-do list that stretches to Australia. The last thing I want to do is sit down and type a fairy tale. I'd much rather escape into one.

But, if there's one lesson I've learned well over the years it's that I have to show up to work anyway. If I consider myself a professional writer and if I want others in my life to treat me like one, then I have to act like a professional. I have to take my work time seriously. 

Pablo Picasso once said: Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working.

My philosophy is very similar. I would say, sit down and write, even when you're not inspired. Once you start working, inspiration often comes along later dragging her feet. Sometimes she may even join you enthusiastically. But if she decides to stay in bed and never show her face, you must write anyway. You must stay at the keyboard and type one word after another, one day after another.

Most writers don't have lightning strike moments of inspiration where we're overcome by some kind of inner frenzy of creativity that won't let us rest until we've poured ourselves out. Sorry. It almost never happens that way.

Usually our writing days are fairly ordinary, perhaps even mundane. We eke out words, agonize over the story, and pray it won't end up sounding quite as bad as it feels. 

The bottom line is that most successful authors have learned that "writing under inspiration" is largely a myth. Instead, we must learn to "write under discipline." Writers have to develop self-discipline–the ability to force ourselves to do something even when we don't want to.

So what are some ways we can develop a habit of self-discipline? Here are just a few things I've done to facilitate self-discipline in my writing life:

1. Plan writing time into our daily schedule. Find a time, even if it's only for an hour (or even 30 minutes). Make the time and goal realistic and doable.

2. Don't let any excuses keep us from our scheduled writing time. Nothing is an excuse (outside a major catastrophe!), not tiredness, not appointments, not phone calls, not interruptions from family. Nothing.

3. Show up to the task on time. We can't tell ourselves that it's okay to check facebook for ten more minutes. Or go make a smoothie first. Or answer two emails. Start on time.

4. Just write. We can't worry about if we're doing it right, if our prose is pretty, or what other people might think. Turn off the internal editor and let the words flow. It doesn't matter if they're good or bad. Instead, just write.

Eventually all those words day after day end up turning into a story. Sometimes those words even surprise us by being a good story. But even if they're not good, that's what editing is for, to turn the lump of coal into a diamond.

How about you? Do you find yourself waiting for inspiration to strike before you write? What percentage of the time do you write under inspiration or under discipline?

Becoming an Olympic Quality Writer

By Jody Hedlund, @JodyHedlund

Like the rest of the world, I've been watching the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia. Since I have three daughters, it's inevitable that women's figure skating is the event we watch the most often.

Aside from the beauty, athleticism, and talent, I'm always fascinated by the behind-the-scenes glimpses we get every once in a while of certain athletes. I like hearing the stories of how they trained and became the top of their sport, because it's so inspiring.

As I've read and heard about various Olympic figure skaters, I realized a lot of the traits they employed to become great athletes are some of the qualities that we writers can employ to become great authors.

1. Master the basic elements.

Over and over on both TV and in news articles, I've seen evidence that the skaters had to master the elements specific to their sport including jumps, spins, footwork, etc. They had to spend countless hours learning the basics before they could move on to the more difficult techniques and jumps.

The same is true in writing. There are basics elements a writer needs to learn for setting, dialog, POV, pacing, plotting, etc. We can't expect to become smoother, more succinct, and riveting without first mastering the basics.

2. Allow competition to serve as motivation.

In a New York Times article, Tara Lipinski, gold medal winner of 1998 Olympics, said: "I think a rivalry is always needed. I had one with Michelle Kwan, and I didn’t slack off one day because I knew she was practicing hard somewhere . . . [skaters] know someone could take their place in an instant and so they have to be better ."

American skater Ashley Wagner doesn't deny her competitive nature. She's quoted in NBC news as saying: "I love to win, honestly. ... If you love to win, you should say it. And honestly, I'm hooked on it."

In the publishing industry, there are thousands upon thousands of writers vying for a limited number of readers' pocketbooks and attention. The competition is fierce. But we don't have to let that scare us from trying. Instead we can let it motivate us to keep writing more and better.

3. Use mistakes as momentum for improvement.

In November, the 15 year old Russian skater, Julia Lipnitskaia beat the world champion, Carolina Kostner of Italy. Afterward, Lipnitskaia was distraught, because even though she'd won, she still had botched two jumps in her win. Now several months later, Lipnitskaia is skating nearly flawlessly, having two mesmerizing performances in the team competition.

Those striving to be the best, whether skaters or writers, don't let loss weigh them down or make them quit; rather, setbacks drive them to work harder.

4. Work INCREDIBLY hard for every step forward.

Ashley Wagner also said: "Nothing has been easy for me. ... I've always had to work for everything I've gotten and everything I've accomplished."

To become Olympic quality, most skaters started young and had strict practice schedules involving hours and hours per day on the rink along with ballet and off-ice conditioning. They had to be self-disciplined, determined, and driven, often giving up other pursuits and interests in order to have the time to devote to skating.

Even then, after so much training, the majority of skaters fight to attract notice at the junior level, and only the very best break through at a senior level.

Writers, too, must have strict writing regimens and expect to practice long hours, often sacrificing free time and hobbies to fit in daily writing workouts. If we want Olympic quality success and stardom then we have to put in Olympic style effort and training.

And yet all too often writers expect to have high sales, hit best seller lists, and rise to fame without having put in the hours, days, and years of writing. Too many hope to gain notice at the junior level when really they're still amateurs.

My Summary: Of course there are lots of other factors that go into becoming an Olympic athlete, too many to mention in one post (including having the right coach). And there are many other factors that go into becoming a successful writer.

But for now, I'll keep watching and learning from the Olympians about what it takes to make dreams come true. And I'll do my best to follow in their footsteps!

How about you? Have you been watching the Olympics? What are some lessons you've taken away?

When the Story Calls . . . And When it Doesn't

By Jody Hedlund, @JodyHedlund

I'm sorry for not posting last week! I was without power for half the week due to a tornadic wind shear that swept through my town. I blogged about the storm and shared some pictures HERE on my group blog!

On to this week's post!

I was glancing through my writing pins on Pinterest and came across two that I really love. But interestingly, both pins showed the dichotomy of the writer's life.

One said this: "But a lot of writers - and I'm one of them - do tend to feel dissatisfied. It makes you a little hard to live with, but it's a goad and does keep you alert and restless." - Tobias Wolff

There's a lot of truth packed into that quote, namely that when writers really submerge themselves into their story, when the words are flowing, and when the characters come alive, it becomes increasingly difficult to tear away from that other-world.

When I'm writing, I don't want to stop. I'm there living in a different time and place with people I've come to care about in a story that twists and turns and grips my heart. I don't want to leave to come back to reality.

But . . . of course reality always calls me out of the story-world. It drags me into the here-and-now. And then as the pin above says, I feel dissatisfied and restless. I'm distracted easily. My kids have been known to ask me a question and wait for an answer as I stare into space. Other times I'm rushing through housework so that I can return to my story.

The other pin that I really like said this: "Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on." Louis L'Amour

The dichotomy of the writing life is that as many times as the words flow and we can't pull ourselves out of our writing, there are just as many times when the words seem stuck, or at least they trickle out slower than a turtle jogging through peanut butter.

It's on those kind of days I heed the advice of this pin: "Clean the house before you start writing because as soon as you sit down you're going to want to scrub the floor, wash the dishes, and empty the litter box."

Yes, there are plenty of times when I sit down before my lap top, pull up my WIP, and I start thinking of everything else I need to do. I go make more coffee and get a snack, and when I come back I decide that's the perfect time to dust the crumbs out of my keyboard.

When I finally start typing, I eke out a few sentences at a time, deleting more than I actually write. My daily word count goal looms before me like Mount Everest–an impossible climb.

That's the life of a writer. There are days when the story flows and the sweetness of it makes reality look bleak in comparison. But then there are days when I'd rather scour the toilet than put words on the page.

So what's a writer to do with such a schizophrenic muse? 

What I've learned over time, is that I don't need to let my temperamental muse discourage or frustrate me. I've accepted the fact that the writing life has both the really, really good days. And the really, really not-so good days.

Instead, I do what any serious write must do: I put my fingers on the keyboard and I type whether I feel like it or not, whether the muse shows up or is out to play. I make myself write words when they won't be found. And I make myself quit when they won't leave me alone.

Such is the writers life–the emptiness, the filling, and the pouring out. It's a cycle that never ends. And I embrace it for all its worth.

What's the writer's life like for you? Have you experienced times when the words flow fast and times when they trickle? How do you handle such a schizophrenic muse?

On Growing Older and Wiser . . .

By Jody Hedlund, @JodyHedlund

Since Mother's Day is just around the corner, I wanted to take this chance to wish all the mothers reading this blog a happy Mother's Day!

I always chuckle when I see "mom-humor" pins and pictures because I've been there and done that plenty of times over the years.

Like most kids, when I was growing up I didn't appreciate all the hard work and sacrifices my mom made for me. Nor did I realize the incredible amount of time and effort she was continually pouring out.

But there's a funny thing that happens as you get older (especially when you have your own kids). And that's this: You begin to see your parents, particularly your mom, in a new light. As you raise your own kids and deal with struggles, you FINALLY empathize with what life was once like for her. And you realize she was a saint for putting up with you back when you were so awful.

I now realize that everything my mom did was because she loved me and wanted me to turn into a hard-working, well-functioning, wholesome adult. Not because she loved to torture me with chores or rules.

I have to remind my kids of these truths quite often. I'm not trying to make their lives miserable by making them work or limiting their screen time. Everything I do for them is out of a deep love–because I want them to be able to thrive when they grow up.

And while I get glimmers that they understand that concept from time to time, I have the feeling they won't be able to fully grasp it until they're adults, especially when they begin training their own children.

The growing older and wiser principle can apply to a lot of things in life, can't it?

When I think about the writing life, for example, I realize that growing older and wiser applies there too. Once upon a time, before I was published, I had certain expectations about what life was like for a published author. I believed that once I was published the road would be paved with roses and rainbows. And that every day would be filled with sunshine.

When I looked at other published authors, I only saw their success, smiles, and popularity. I thought that getting an agent, a book deal, and being a multi-published author would somehow catapult me to the "other side."

But now that I'm here, I realize there really is no "other side." I'm not all that different than I was before. I still have bad days. Things don't always go perfectly in my life. And some days the road is paved with dandelions and thunderstorms.

In looking back at the naive young writer I used to be, I see that I wasn't able to appreciate just how hard those more experienced authors worked day in and day out. I didn't understand the incredible amount of time and perseverance they'd put in to get where they're at. I didn't realize all the sweat and tears they'd shed to reach success.

But now that I'm more experienced myself, I can appreciate (just like in parenting!) those who've gone before me. I see them in a new light. I now realize what it takes. And I can look upon all of their accomplishments with more awe because finally I know first-hand just how hard it truly is.

Yes, growing older and wiser is a funny thing. We realize how foolish we once were and at the same time recognize how far we still have to go.

This Mother's Day I'm reminded of just how much I have to appreciate about my Mom and all she did for me. And I'm reminded to stay humble and not take for granted any of those who are ahead of me in this journey of life.

How about you? Are you doing anything special to celebrate Mother's Day? How have YOU grown older and wiser over the years?

13 Reasons to Keep Writing in 2013

By Jody Hedlund, @JodyHedlund

I have to admit, there have been times when I've been tempted to quit writing.

We all face enormous pressures—such as family members who don't like what we're doing, the stress of juggling multiple responsibilities while trying to write, the frustration at how slow our career is moving forward, and disappointment in expectations that haven't been realized.

The list could go on and on.

The fact is, the writing life is hard.

And the temptation to give up is often strong for many of us.

As we begin 2013, I'd like to start the year on a note of hope—13 reasons why we should keep writing, even on the days when we'd like to give up . . .

1. Write because it provides an outlet for the other stressors of life.

2. Write because we love creating and telling stories.

3. Write because there are more opportunities for publication and success than ever before. If one door closes, there are still many options available.

4. Write because we want to be good stewards of the gifts and abilities we've been given.

5. Write because we want to challenge ourselves to do something hard but rewarding.

6. Write because we want to bring joy, hope, and healing to others through our written words.

7. Write because we appreciate the beauty of words and crafting sentences.

8. Write because we need to pour out the passion that resides deep in our hearts.

9. Write because it challenges us to use our brains, to think, and be intelligent.

10. Write because it provides a place where we can attempt to make sense of a sometimes crazy and painful world.

11. Write because it is a means for communicating universal truths.

12. Write because we find great joy in the creative process itself.

13. Write because we have to, because without it we'd be empty.

Notice I didn't say write for fame and fortune or for getting an agent or book deal.

Yes, those kinds of things are nice. I'm the first to admit I get excited whenever I get a check in the mail.

But . . . ultimately our writing success isn't measured in popularity, money, agents, or book deals. And if we're writing to get any one of those things, we'll likely be disappointed in the long run. Because eventually money gets spent, popularity fades, agents change, and book deals come and go.

However, if we're writing for any of the above 13 reasons, then we have motivation to keep going when everything else looks bleak and when we're tempted to quit.

Next time you feel like giving up, get at the heart of why you're REALLY writing and give yourself hope to carry on.

Share with us! What keeps you writing when you're tempted to give up?

Don't Give Up Hope When Progress Is Hard to See

By Jody Hedlund, @JodyHedlund

Growth is one of the hardest things to see, isn't it?

Whether it's growth physically, in a skill, or even in character, progress comes so slowly that we often miss it.

This Christmas season, my husband and I were disparaging about the challenges gift-giving poses for those of us who live in a society inundated with everything we need and then some.

We're challenged with ridiculous questions like: What do you give that family member who already purchases everything he wants all year round? Or what do you give the relative whose house is overflowing with more clutter than she knows what to do with?

My husband and I were also discussing the extra challenge of buying for teenagers. We have three teens in the house this year, and what do you buy for kids who are blessed beyond measure? And if you do lavish them with things they don't really need, what are you teaching them about contentment, gratitude, giving, and simple living?

We were a little disturbed when our three oldest added ipod touches to their Christmas wish lists. Many of their friends had been getting ipods, iphones, and even ipads. And so they didn't think anything of asking for such an expensive gift.

When my husband first heard their request, he sat back in shock and said, "When we were kids, we wouldn't have asked our parents for a $200 Christmas present. Why would our kids think they each deserve such an expensive gift?"

My husband and I could only stare at each other with bewilderment. We'd worked so hard over the years to make Christmas about giving. We'd tried to limit the number of gifts. We'd participated in various efforts like Operation Christmas Child shoe boxes, going to nursing homes to sing and share, and baking cookies and candy to give away.

As we evaluated our children, we realized they've fallen into the "entitlement trap" that so many kids in our generation have been sucked into. They're a part of a growing population of young people who've never known real hardship or deprivation the way previous generations have experienced through World Wars, national crises, and Great Depressions.

As you can imagine, we sat down with our kids and talked about the problems of expecting much, giving little, and not experiencing true gratitude.

The bottom line is that we're facing an uphill battle against materialism and entitlement, not only with our children but with ourselves. And sometimes it feels as if it's a losing battle. We work hard to instill values and teach character, but it doesn't seem like we're making much progress.

Until we get a glimmer of hope . . .

One day, after discussing some options for our kids about getting ipod touches (namely that they need to earn and save money for them), one of my daughters came to me and said, "Mom, I've been saving up money. But instead of buying an ipod touch, I think I'd like to give my money to help fight sex-trafficking."

She had tears in her eyes. "I just can't bear to think about other girls my age in poorer parts of the world and that kind of stuff happening to them. I want to do what I can to help them."

HOPE.

GROWTH.

PROGRESS.

While my daughter is far from perfect (and still wants an ipod touch), her confession reminds me not to stop fighting to teach my children (and this generation) how to be more selfless, giving, and grateful. They can learn. They're picking up more than we think they are. And they will eventually make progress . . . if we keep persevering to teach them to do what's right.

In light of the Sandy Hook shooting, we certainly have a high calling to continue to work hard at shaping our children into adults who exhibit kindness, selflessness, and integrity.

My encouragement to myself and to everyone this holiday season is not to give up hope. Whether you're having a rough time with your kids, your spouse, or a loved one--in whatever difficulty you're facing, don't stop hoping.

We can't give up hope in seeing progress in ourselves either. Personal growth is usually invisible and becomes clear only after time passes.

Keep up the hard work. And maybe every once in a while you'll get a glimmer of hope. Cling to the hope. Stay the course. Fight the good fight.

Merry Christmas!

What's YOUR biggest challenge this holiday season?

Due to the holidays, I'll be taking a break from blogging. I'll be back on Thursday, January 3. See you then!

The Funny Thing About First Drafts

By Jody Hedlund, @JodyHedlund

I just started writing the first draft of a new book. When all's said and done, this will end up being the sixth book I'll have written for my publisher, Bethany House.

I spent a couple of months this past summer doing the research for my new book. Then I plotted out the chapters because my publisher wants their authors to turn in a synopsis of the book before we start writing it.

No, you didn't read that wrong. I have to write the synopsis first, before I begin the first draft. I'm expected to flesh out my book idea and get it "approved."

Yes, I realize some writers might balk at the idea of having someone else approve their story before writing it. Some may think that's too controlling, that it denies self-expression, or inhibits creativity. At times I've even heard writers sarcastically say something like, "Do those publishers believe they're God, thinking they know what readers want and telling authors what to write about?"

The truth is that in traditional publication, the publisher DOES make it their intimate business to know what their readers are enjoying, especially what's selling and what's not. No, they're not God. But they try to keep a pulse on the industry, and they usually have a big picture of sales and trends that help them make decisions the average writer doesn't always understand.

The beauty of today's market is that if a writer finds the process of traditional publication stifling, if they don't want to have anyone else telling them what to do, if they want to write the story that's burning inside them regardless of what anyone else thinks, then they can.

With the ease of self-publishing, writers can publish anything they want and get it into readers' hands anyway. They can even prove that readers truly are ready and willing to try new things. It's possible, but not necessarily easy.

On the other hand, traditional publication requires team work. My editors and I have the same goal—to publish a book that my genre readers will love. I come up with the ideas and the story, but then they're able to give me the necessary feedback on what will work and what won't (and that process isn't always flawless, because even after all the feedback, sometimes books still flop).

I've learned that the more detailed I can make my synopsis the better. The one I recently turned in was approximately seven pages single-spaced.

My editor takes some time to read the synopsis and then offers his feedback either via an email or phone call. He shares his concerns. And then we often brainstorm together ideas that may work instead.

Finally, I revise my synopsis and resend it to him. At that point, I'm ready to start the first draft.

But a funny thing happens with first drafts . . .

Even with the best laid plans, once you start writing, the story takes on a life of its own.

When we let go of our plans and get into our creative zone, when we allow the breath of life to blow into our words, everything takes on a new dimension. And it's at that point, when the story comes truly alive, that I find the most joy in the process of writing. I love when a story evolves and grows, turning into something more complex and beautiful than I could have imagined when it was still just a dream.

I've learned that "letting go" during the first draft is a skill we have to hone just like all the others. When we first start writing, perhaps we're nervous, wondering if we're doing everything "right." We second-guess ourselves a lot. And in the process, we inadvertently let our internal editor out too soon.
And when the internal editor comes out, it can zap the joy of writing and dry us up until we feel like we've got nothing left to give.

Over the years, I've had to consciously make myself NOT stop, NOT nit-pick, and NOT worry about my first draft. I've learned to release the need to make the first draft "fit" my pre-conceived plans or to make it perfect.

Instead, I let the first draft be a time of falling in love with writing all over again. I use my synopsis and plot plans as a guideline. But I give myself the freedom to make mistakes, to try new things, and most importantly to let the ever-formulating new ideas bring extra depth to the story.

Yes, that means my synopsis and my first draft don't always match perfectly. And it means that I may get off track with what readers expect and like. I've come to accept that I'll have to make some adjustments during the rewrite phase.

But that's okay. When we can truly find joy in the writing process itself, then all the other difficulties pale in comparison.

How about you? What is the first draft experience like for you? Are you finding joy in letting the story come to life? Or are you too worried about how it's all going to turn out?

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During the month of September, I'm sharing secrets about myself during my "Fun Secrets" Blog Tour. On each blog stop, I'll also be giving away a signed copy of my newest release, Unending Devotion:

Thursday, Sept. 13: Secret #8: My worst injury. Faye Oygard’s blog

Friday, Sept. 14: Secret #9: An aspect of my personality that I’ve struggled to accept. Jill Kemerer’s blog

For a list of all my secrets, check out my Events Page!

One Way to Shrink Our Problems

By Jody Hedlund, @JodyHedlund

As many of you know, I had to put my sweet kitty to sleep this past summer. I didn't think I would take it quite as hard as I did. But for some reason, the loss really hit me when we came home from our family vacation to an empty home.

I walked through the door, waiting for the usual excited meows and leg-rubbings. But without my kitty to greet me, my heart felt as empty as my home.

Even though I was missing my kitty, I didn't want to rush out and try to replace the loving pet that I'd had for nine years. And I wasn't planning to . . . until, a few days later when I was listening to the radio as I took my youngest daughter to the dentist.

The radio announcers were sitting outside the local humane society. And they were discussing the towers and towers of kittens inside that desperately needed homes.

Of course, right then and there I wanted to step on the gas and steer the van directly to the front door of the humane society. Instead, I made myself be a good mommy, and I took my daughter to her dentist appointment first.

But the minute she was done, we zipped over to visit the kittens. "Just to look" I told my husband on the cell phone.

Okay, so you know the end of the story. I didn't just look. I ended up taking home a six week old calico that had been taken from her mother way too soon. She had worms and fleas and needed a bath. But she was just what I needed to warm my heart. I named her Petunia, sweet little Petunia.

But that's not quite the end of my kitten story. While we were looking at the cages and cages of cats, I discovered a five month old kitten that I knew my husband would fall in love with—a friendly, main-coon-mix, that had the makings of becoming a large cat (just the kind my husband likes).

So you guessed it. We adopted him too. Only he was incredibly sick at the time with a severe upper respiratory infection. The day we brought him home, he could hardly breathe, he wasn't eating or drinking, and he was coughing and sneezing. He too was dirty, skinny, and flea-infested.

I didn't think the poor kitty would make it through the first night. But the next morning, he was still alive . . . but barely. For three days, we worked hard to save his life, syringe-feeding him and coaxing every tiny sip of water we could into him.

Finally, he began to perk up. And when he ate a dish of watered-down canned cat food, we cheered.

Patriot, named after my husband's favorite football team!

It's been an uphill battle nursing him back to health. He's still coughing. But slowly he's adjusting to our home and his new family—who obviously loves him a LOT to go to such great lengths to care for him.

As I told my children on the day we adopted our new kittens, "They don't know how lucky they are to be coming to live with us."

So what have I learned through all this crazy kitten business?

One lesson is that we all need to have someone or something to think about outside ourselves, especially in such a "me first" culture. I'm the first to admit that I think about myself, my likes, dislikes, comfort, or lack of it quite a bit.

But when we give ourselves the opportunity to look beyond ourselves, to see the problems of others, we come away with fresh perspective, perhaps realizing our issues aren't quite as overwhelming as we once believed. We learn to be just a little more grateful for what we've been given, instead of focusing so much on what we don't have.

Adopting sick and homeless kittens may not be a big thing. But it's a step in the right direction. It's helping me and my family focus a little less upon ourselves.

So, next time your problems feel overwhelming, find someone or something worse off than you and help them. Reaching outside ourselves to the needs of others definitely puts life back into perspective. It helps shrink our problems.


(And by the way, if you'd like to learn more about how you can help someone worse off, check out my Reader Page for some of the sites I'm helping with proceeds from Unending Devotion in an effort to bring awareness to the continuing problem of sexual exploitation of women.)

 So what about you? Have you ever gone crazy over any of your pets? :-) And how are you working on shrinking your problems?

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During the month of September, I'm sharing secrets about myself during my "Fun Secrets" Blog Tour. On each blog stop, I'll also be giving away a signed copy of my newest release, Unending Devotion:

Monday, Sept. 10: Secret #5: One huge way my husband supports me. Caroline Flory’s blog

Tuesday, Sept. 11: Secret #6: What I wanted to be when I grew up. Julie Musil’s blog

Wednesday, Sept. 12: Secret #7: Where I do most of my writing. Brooke M.’s blog

For a list of all my secrets, check out my Events Page!

Start Doing What You Love Right Now!

By Jody Hedlund, @JodyHedlund

My kids have loved watching the Olympics over the past couple of weeks. I know this because they're constantly checking to see what events are on TV.

But I also know the excitement goes deeper when I see my daughters pretending to be Gabby Douglas and Aly Raisman as they jump on the trampoline. Or when my young son is doing the backstroke at the pool and claims to be Michael Phelps.

After listening to story after story about athletes and their rigorous workouts, my oldest son went online, found a detailed training plan, and printed it out.

There's something about watching others strive after their dreams that inspires us to reach higher for ours.

My twin daughters recently had a sleepover with a friend and watched the Disney movie, Lemonade Mouth. Yes, it's slightly cheesy and unrealistic. But it was still an inspiring movie. A group of misfit teens came together, formed a band, and then worked hard to make something of themselves. 

After the movie, as the girls and I processed the good and the bad, I remarked that one of the things I liked about the movie was that the kids pursued their passion even though they were young. They didn't let age or other obstacles stand in their way. They didn't wait until they finished high school, had more time, or were more mature. They just did it.

My daughters' friend that slept over is a budding writer. She's in seventh grade, but she already has a binder full of research for her book and has plotted it out in great detail. During the sleepover, I gave her a copy of my character worksheets so she could use them in her planning.

I did it because I believe in her. I don't think she's too young to write a book or pursue her passion.

She isn't letting anything stop her from doing what she loves. Like the kids in Lemonade Mouth, she isn't telling herself she's too young. She's embracing her gifting and passion with abandon.

Often when we get older, we lose faith in ourselves. Once we've experienced the hard knocks of life, we start viewing the world more cynically. We're no longer oblivious to the realities and roadblocks that loom between us and our dreams.

So we grow less willing to jump into the unknown. Instead, we tiptoe in, testing the waters slowly. And we have the tendency to slink out at the least ripple. 

If only we could hang on to the child-like abandonment of chasing after our dreams. If only we didn't focus so much on the obstacles standing in our way. If only we didn't let fear stop us. If only we continued to believe that everything was still possible.

Because the truth is, none of us are too young or too old to follow our passions, to begin doing what we love every day. 

Maybe we need to stop tip-toeing in and just take the plunge. Jump into the water with a splash. Get wet. Go deep. And give it all we've got.

So be like a child. Believe in yourself.

Believe you can be a writer. Or artist. Or musician.

Start now. Why wait?

Are you doing what you love with childlike abandonment? Or are you letting obstacles and fear hold you back?

Write Because You Love It

As I travel around and meet readers, invariably I run across someone who says something like this: “I think I could be a writer too. I have some great ideas for stories just simmering. Besides how hard could it be? You just write the book, send it to publishers, and make lots of money.”

Maybe they don’t say those exact words. But often, when they’re asking me questions about publishing, I know that’s what they’re thinking—that writing stories can’t be all that hard, getting published is a piece of cake (either traditionally or self-publishing), and in the end all writers are making lots of money.

But those of us who are in the trenches of the publishing industry know the hard realities of the writing life and of the publishing industry:

*Crafting stories is difficult, and getting them to sound like your two year old didn’t write them is even harder.

*Having a successful publication experience takes hours and hours and hours of work and there are no guarantees of success or sales.

*Most authors start off making less than minimum wage compared to all the time they put into their books.

When I meet people who don’t have a realistic view of writing and publishing, I don’t sit them down and give them a long lecture about the realities that await them. I don’t burst their happy bubble with stories about how hard it was for me.

And I don’t pull out my tax forms for the past several years to show them how slowly the income trickles in—even with books that have had good sales with a large CBA publisher.

Instead, I listen graciously, bite my tongue, and finally wish them all the best.

I know that eventually, if they try to write a book they’ll understand that putting the right words on paper isn’t quite as easy it looks. In fact, they’ll come to realize the truth of these quotes:

*Easy reading is damn hard writing. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne

*What is written without effort is in general read without pleasure. ~Samuel Johnson

I know that eventually when they get ready to publish their books, they’ll realize how overwhelming and intimidating publication and marketing are whether they publish themselves or traditionally.

And I know that they’ll eventually see their own sales figures (if they make it to publication and beyond), and they’ll realize what an accomplishment it is to get anyone besides family and friends to buy our books.

The truth is, anyone who sticks out a writing career long enough will have to take that writing career off the pedestal, stop glamorizing it, and start seeing it for what it is—a business.

I’ve had to look at my writing career much the same way others might look at starting a small business. We have to begin at the bottom and work our way up. We have to put in long hours with little compensation while we’re in the process of expanding. Often it takes years before we build a base of happy customers and finally begin to see some monetary profit.

In summary, what I want to tell aspiring writers who have that book inside them they want to write is: Go for it. You don’t need me or anyone else to talk you out of a writing career because of how difficult it may be someday.

But make sure you’re writing that book for the right reasons . . .

Make sure you love writing.

Because ultimately that deep, passionate love of telling stories is what's going to get you through all the difficulties in the days to come. Without a love of writing, what’s the point?

What about you? Are you writing for the love it? What keeps you going through the hard times?

Embrace Your Beautiful Uniqueness

In my family, we have the tradition of putting up our Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving. My husband has off work, and thus can make the time in his otherwise busy schedule to bring up the boxes, fiddle around with the branches that have gotten bent in storage, and change the miniature bulbs as he strings all 5000 lights. (Okay, so maybe not quite 5000, but it sure seems like it!)

Once he does the hard work of putting together everything into some resemblance of a tree, we then bring up five boxes of ornaments—one for each of my children. Like many of you, we give our children a special ornament every Christmas. And of course, their boxes wouldn’t be complete without all of the handcrafted ornaments they’ve made.

As you can imagine, over the years our tree has become more and more crowded. Odd-shaped beaded candy canes, marker-scribbled snowmen, and blue stained glass Santas adorn the branches. Those handmade ornaments intermingle with the more glamorous mementos to Baby’s 1st Christmas, special hamsters, and Star Wars creatures.

The first week or so after our tree is decorated, my youngest children like to play with their ornaments. They take off a few, have a mini-family reunion with them under the tree, then put them back on—usually on the branch already bent with several heavy ornaments. They repeat this many times each day, crowding even more ornaments into the same spot, so that eventually the tree starts to lean.

Then there’s the cat. He thinks the tree and all the dangling ornaments are especially designed for his pouncing pleasure.

You get the point. By mid-December, my Christmas tree looks like a mini-tornado has hit it.

Occasionally in the past, I would tell myself I really needed to get a new tree without the wobbly branches, one that I can decorate with matching ribbons and glass balls, one with all of the glitzy and glimmering ornaments that I drool over at Pier 1 Imports.

Nevertheless, I’ve resisted the temptation. And eventually I’ve come to realize that my teetering, slightly dilapidated, very imperfect tree is actually quite beautiful.

Beautiful, you ask? How so?

For one very important reason—because the tree is uniquely mine.

It represents me and my family to the fullest essence. From the crazy crowded chaos down to the oddest ornament, each aspect of the tree stands for years of memories (both the joys and sorrows), layers of family differences, and all of the wonderful ingredients that make my family (and me) unique.

If I tried to copy some other family’s tree, or tried to make our tree look like a page out of Better Homes & Gardens, I’d miss the wonderful beauty that makes up my family.

In a world that pressures us to conform, it’s all too easy to overlook the unique beauty that each one of us has in our families and individually. We’re bombarded with ads and entertainment that subtly (and not so subtly) push us to be like everyone else.

Even in the writing world, we often feel the pressure to conform to a certain mold in order to make our books appealing and saleable. And yet we can’t lose sight of the little things, nuances, quirks, and aspects that make up who we are. All of those things come together to form our unique, beautiful identity that helps us to stand apart from everyone else.

This holiday season I urge us all to embrace the unique beauty inside ourselves and our families. Let your life (and Christmas tree!) reflect the uniqueness of YOU. And let your writing reflect all of the unique beauty of your experiences, personality, and depth of who you are.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

P.S. I will be taking a break from blogging next week. See you on Tuesday Jan. 3.

Why We Might Need to Go on a Diet

Most of the people reading this blog are probably among the population of the world that has WAY more than we need. In fact, if you’re like me, you have SO much stuff that you have a hard time coming up with a Christmas wish list.

Every year, I struggle to write a list and usually it ends up looking something like this: chocolate, coffee, slippers, fuzzy socks, pj’s, clothes, and pretty kitchen oven mitts.

There’s absolutely nothing on my list I NEED.

Quite frankly, my kids don't need anything on their wish lists either. My eight-year-old son certainly does not need a General Grievous Transformer since he already has plenty of Star Wars action figures. And my youngest daughter doesn’t need the pink Webkinz Pompom Kitty since the end of her bed is already piled high with stuffed animals.

Of course, my children have had their wish lists put together since last Christmas. Well, maybe not quite. But they always have ideas of what they’d like. Thus, I’m continually reminding them that while it's exciting to get gifts, the newness never lasts. Our things quickly lose their shine and importance. Pretty soon they end up in the corner taking up space. And we’re on to wanting the next new thing.

Yet, even armed with knowledge that THINGS ultimately don’t fulfill us, I find my kids (and myself!) still craving more. The pulse of the modern culture beats through us, pounding with the steady insatiable rhythm of gimme, gimme, gimme.

I can’t help but stop on this U.S. holiday of Thanksgiving and ask myself, what are we teaching ourselves and our children by constantly feeding our appetite for things?

We’ve become overweight with our possessions. And as you know, obesity is often the cause of other problems. What are the long-term effects of our over-indulging going to be, especially upon the next generation?

Is it time to put ourselves on a diet?

Perhaps.

I think at the very least we can start cultivating an attitude of restraint within ourselves. Teach ourselves to say “no” to getting everything we think we need. Give ourselves permission not to have to keep up with our neighbors. Stop believing that having more is going to make us happy. Tell ourselves it’s okay to live simply and not to have the latest and greatest items that come out.

Then I think we can begin to retrain ourselves with a healthier lifestyle, primarily in taking large doses of gratefulness on a daily basis. Slow down, find contentment in the possessions we already have. Notice the things we take for granted and let gratitude whisper through our hearts for them. Remember what really matters in life—the intangibles like laughter, and hugs, and deep conversations. Relationships. Family. People. Love.

Thankfulness may not be the complete antidote to our over-indulgent lifestyles. But it’s a start.

So what about you? What are you most thankful for? And how are you cultivating a healthy lifestyle of gratefulness?

Encouragement for Aspiring Writers

Recently, my youngest daughter (who just turned six) watched the new Veggie Tale DVD, Princess & the Pop Star. This particular story is about two “girls” who switch places. One is a poor farmer lass who wishes to be famous and the other is a rock star who longs for a simpler life.

After watching the DVD several times, my daughter came up to me and motioned for me to bend down as she usually does when she has something secret she wants to tell me. (As the baby of the family, she rarely has the opportunity for privacy!).

With a shy smile, she whispered, “Mom, I know what I want to be when I grow up.”

I took her sweet little face in my hands and gave her my fullest attention. “What do you want to be, honey?”

She glanced around to make sure none of her siblings were within hearing range. Then she leaned closer. “I’m going to be a rock star.”

I drew her into a hug, pressed a kiss against her silky head, and said, “That’s wonderful. I’m sure you’ll make a fantastic rock star.”

My eight-year old son also had a recent what-I-wanna-be-when-I-grow-up moment. For some reason, he’s really into Batman. He reads Batman comics, plays with Batman action figures, and fights Batman style at every opportunity (you know, the-kicking-the legs and swinging-the-arms thing).

One day he declared, “I’m going to be Batman when I grow up.” But, he didn’t whisper it to me. He said it at dinner where all his siblings heard him. And of course, my three teenage children who are in the let’s-be-very-realistic stage were quick to inform him that there was absolutely NO way he could be Batman when he grew up.

Fortunately, my little man doesn’t get discouraged easily. And their nay-saying didn’t sway away him from his desire to be Batman someday.

If there’s one thing about parenting I’ve learned over the years, it’s that I don’t need to be the voice of realism to my children. Instead, I need to let them have wild dreams. I need to let them believe they can accomplish whatever they set their hearts on. And I need to encourage them to go for it.

Because, the fact is, there are going to be plenty of other people and situations that will eventually be that realistic voice. My kids are going to get slapped around, battered down, and told that they can’t do it.

Why should I be the one to do that dirty work?

I want to be the one to uplift them, believe in them, and encourage them (along with teaching them to work hard!). Because who am I to say that my daughter won’t be a rock star when she grows up? And who am I to say that my son won’t be a super hero someday in his own special way?

As a published author, I don’t need to be the discouraging voice to beginning writers. If I meet someone with slightly unrealistic expectations about publishing process, I don’t need to make sure they know how hard it is. If I read someone’s work, I don’t need to give a full critique and point out every mistake. And if a writer tells me they’re going to self publish their first book, I don’t need to remind them of all the pitfalls.

Instead, I can be an encouragement. We all can. Because let’s face it, we’ll all have to swallow our fair share of realism eventually. In today’s tough market, the industry is brutal enough without all of us nay-saying each other.

So, I say to each aspiring writer: You can do it. I believe in you.

What about you? Have you gotten discouraged lately because of well-meaning but negative advice or conversations? Are you surrounding yourself with people who believe in you and encourage you?