When We're Faced With the Temptation to Grow Up too Fast

*The new driver!*

By Jody Hedlund, @JodyHedlund

My oldest son recently turned sixteen. And yes, he got his driver's license. The day his birthday dawned, he didn't care about presents, cake, or his special dinner. All he cared about was taking a trip over to the DMV and getting his license.

Of course, as usual, the wait at the DMV was out the door. Don't you just love the efficiency of the government? Every time I go to the post office the line is out the door too. But I digress . . .

Even though my son almost didn't get to blow out his birthday candles because he was busy sitting at the DMV, he DID eventually get his license. And we're all very happy for him (especially me because I don't have to drive him all over kingdom-come anymore!).

Strangely, when my freshmen daughters saw their brother pull out of the driveway all by himself to drive to work, they both had the same reaction. "I can't wait until I get to drive." I've heard them say it countless times over the past few weeks. And along with that I've also begun to hear my daughters say things like, "I can't wait until I'm older" or "I'm so glad I'm not in middle school anymore" or "I hate being so young."

They're comparing themselves with their older brother with all his privileges and responsibilities and
in the process they're starting to feel discontent with where they're at. Sure, we can empathize with them. We remember what it was like to be young and wish you could do more.

But as adults already having gone through high school, most of us would probably advise my twins to stop wishing away today and enjoy every moment because before they know it those years will be gone. Soon enough they'll have a job and family and LOTS of responsibility (sometimes even more than they wanted!).

There's always the temptation to want to grow up too fast, isn't there? (Except when you hit your 40's and you start wishing you could subtract a year at every birthday instead of adding one.)

That temptation to grow up too fast happens in the writing world too. And with the internet age, that temptation has only increased.

Writers everywhere are visible with everything they're doing. In fact, nowadays the writer's life is an open book (pun intended!). With our blogs, twitter, and facebook, we can share everything we're going through, how much we're writing per hour, every first draft we complete, contract news, and finals in contests.

And while such openness can be helpful, I find that most often it sets up an attitude of discontentment in those who are watching us.

On Twitter we see seasoned writers pumping out amazing word counts like 2000/hour and wonder what's wrong with us that we can only write 200 a day.

Or we hear about all the multiple novellas, novels, and eshorts an author writes in six months and feel inadequate for only barely managing one book a year.

We see friends publishing one book after another. Their rankings rise higher with each book. And we start to feel left behind.

Whatever the source of our discontentment, we're wise to heed the same advice that we would give my freshmen daughters: Stop wishing away today and enjoy every moment because before we know it those early years will be gone. Soon we'll reach maturity and have LOTS of responsibility (sometimes even more than we wanted!).

Sure it's only natural to look ahead, to dream, to plan. But we can't rush the process. We can't send out our books or publish them too soon. We have to wait for maturity and give ourselves time to grow in the writing journey.

It's okay to start with 200 words a day and one book a year. It's okay to take the time to read widely inside and out of your genre. It's okay to spend time practicing new techniques. And it's okay to wait to publish a book until you've had the chance to grow up as a writer.

In other words, we can't expect to be at the junior level when we're a freshman.

Sometimes we may cry out, "I can't wait!" But let's not miss out on the joy of the process that lies before us while we fret away our time coveting what's out of our reach.

What about you? Do you ever get tired of waiting? Do you compare yourself to others ahead of you and wish you were already there? How do YOU handle the impatience?

The Slush Pile Slump Syndrome

Waiting is one of the hardest parts of the publication process. No matter where we’re at, we all have to wait. We have to wait for an agent to make a decision on our query, for an editor to look at our proposal, or a publisher to renew our contract. Maybe we’re waiting for contest results or sales figures that tell us we earned out our advance.

Waiting is unavoidable and it doesn’t end when we get an agent or book contract. It’s a continual part of the professional writer’s life.

However, with that said, I have to admit that the slush pile wait is one of the hardest types of waits a writer must go through. At least it was for me.

For many of us, querying is the beginning of venturing out of our writing isolation, putting our precious books out there, testing if our writing skills and stories are ready for publication. So when we get a nibble from an agent—any sign of interest—our hopes escalate. The request for a partial or a full fills us with excitement, because maybe—just maybe—we have what it takes.

We send off our manuscript to the requesting agent with trembling fingers and wildly thumping hearts. But then something happens we didn’t expect (or at least secretly hoped wouldn’t happen to us). We end up waiting, and waiting, and waiting . . . for weeks, then perhaps months. We can’t help but wonder if the agent lost our manuscript or made a decision and then forgot to tell us.

The reality is that our manuscript is still sitting in an enormous slush pile, and the harried agent just can’t find enough time in the day to get to it.

So we fall into what I call the “Slush Pile Slump Syndrome” or SPSS. How do we know if we suffer from SPSS? Here are a few signs:

• When you check email every 5 minutes just in case the agent has finally made a decision.

• When you follow the agent so closely on Twitter you have their daily schedule memorized.

• You decide to name your next child after the agent because it’s the name you think about most.

• You send the agent a Christmas present—and sign it “to my agent to-be.”

• You start eating chocolate and drinking coffee at every meal to prove that you’re a real writer.

All humor aside, the slush pile wait is incredibly difficult. In order to avoid catching SPSS, here are a few things to keep in mind:

An agent’s decision does not determine our worth. Yes, an agent’s praise can validate we’re on track. But we have to remember if they say no, that doesn’t mean we stink and that our story will never sell. Plenty of agents turned down The Preacher’s Bride, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t saleable.

Connect with the agent on Twitter or through blogging. Leave comments. Retweet their links. Increase your online presence so that agents can’t help but see your name and wonder about you. Be friendly, but professional. However, be careful not to come across as desperate or obnoxious.

While waiting, keep writing. The very best thing we can do once our manuscript is in the slush pile is to start working on the next book. Not only does it divert our attention, but it also helps us continue to grow in writing skill. Besides, if the agent decides she likes our writing but doesn't think she can sell our slush pile story, we’ll have another one ready to give her.

Look for ways to get an advantage. One of the best ways to get recognition is to final in a contest. My final in a national contest helped propel my manuscript to the top of my agent’s slush pile. Another advantage is to get an endorsement or recommendation from one of the agent’s clients (this usually only works if you’re already friends).

No matter what we do to alleviate the stress, the slush-pile wait is downright difficult. If nothing else, we can look at the wait as one more part of the process that toughens us and prepares us for the long waits and difficult days that are still to come in the life of a professional writer.

What about you? Have you ever had to wait in a slush pile? And have you ever caught the Slush Pile Slump Syndrome? (Tell us your what you did during your slump!) What did you do to pull yourself out?

P.S. There's still time to enter the Christmas gift drawing for The Preacher's Bride! Click here for rules and to enter the giveaway.