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If I Could Do Things Over:What I'd Change & What I Wouldn't

By Jody Hedlund, @JodyHedlund

A couple of weeks ago I read a guest post on Chip MacGregor's blog titled, "What I'd Change About My Writing Journey."

After reading it, I couldn't keep from analyzing my own journey and trying to figure out if there was anything I would or wouldn't change about my writing past. I've been writing for over twenty years. So I've definitely had my share of struggles and mistakes.

Of course I wouldn't change some things because they helped strengthen me and made me a tougher more competent writer. But then there are other things that I wish I could go back and do over.

Here are just a few of my thoughts:

What I WOULD NOT change about my writing journey: 

1. I wouldn't change that my first five books didn't get published. In hindsight, I'm SO relieved that my earlier manuscripts were rejected. They were the books I needed to write to foster my creativity and unleash my storytelling abilities. But they were not of publishable quality. In addition to lacking structure and technique, they didn't have the depth, passion, and complexity of my current work.

2. I wouldn't change that I took a writing hiatus when my kids were little. I took a seven year break after my twins were born. And even though at first it was hard for me to lay aside my writing, I can see now that break enriched me. When I finally started writing again, I brought a wealth of experiences and maturity to my stories that I didn't have before. I learned that breaks are okay, that sometimes we need them, and that we shouldn't beat ourselves up for them because the time away can help us be even better.

3. I wouldn't change that I wrote in solitude for many years. I already touched on this in my post: Why I'm Glad the Internet Didn't Exist When I Was a Beginner. In addition to not having the internet, I also didn't worry about writing conferences or writing groups or critique partners. During those first few terrible but necessary books, criticism and pressure from others would have zapped the joy out of the learning process. Instead I insulated myself and didn't have to play the comparison game.

4. I wouldn't change all the studying and learning. After writing those first few books, I began to sense that I had much more to learn and so began to delve into studying the craft of writing with zealousness. When I wasn't writing, I immersed myself into every fiction how-to book I could get my hands on. It was at that point that my writing really began to improve.

What I wish I COULD change about my writing journey:

1. I wish I hadn't worried so much about my future. This is a really tough one. Because I think it's natural for us to be excited and nervous when we send a manuscript to an agent or publisher. But in hindsight, I realize all my fretting didn't make the process move faster or make things turn out better. It didn't change what happened. But it did make me more tense. I'm still learning to work hard at the things I can control (like continually striving to improve my writing), and to let go of the things I can't (like how quickly I achieve success).

2. I wish I would have stressed out less about social media. Yes, social media is important for the modern author. But it's all too easy to get swept into the social media tidal wave and let it drown us. If I could go back and change things, I'd take the pressure off myself with blogging. At first I blogged five days a week. Eventually I moved down to three, then two. At some point I may even reduce to once a week. But for now I've found a system that works with my busy schedule.

3. I wish I'd been able to set better boundaries for my writing time. I've gone to both extremes over the years, not giving it enough importance and relegating it to "hobby status." Then there were times when I gave it too much weight so that it made my family feel second-rate. I'm finally beginning to find a balance, partly by setting aside devoted chunks of time to focus on writing, so that I'm not constantly have to squeeze it in wherever I can.

4. I wish I could learn more patience for where I'm at in my journey. This is one I'm still struggling with. It's still too easy (especially with the availability of reviews and rankings) to compare ourselves with other authors, especially those further ahead. I have to remind myself that they were once in my position, and they had to persevere to reach where they're at today. I need to keep hanging on, enjoy where I'm currently at, and stop wishing it away for the glories of tomorrow.

What about you? What are some things you WOULD NOT change about your writing journey? And what are the things you wish you COULD change?

28 comments:

  1. Oh, that's a tricky one - like you said, so much of what has happened on my journey so far is what's made me the writer I am today. Take it away, and who would I be?

    I would definitely stress less (I could say that about just about every aspect of my life, I think). Worry less about other people's expectations. Focus more on writing the book I wanted to write, less on what I thought would be publishable.

    The biggest thing I wouldn't change is switching my focus from original fiction to fanfiction for a few years. So much less pressure, so it was perfect when my girls were babies, and it taught me so much - finishing a story, taking both negative and positive reviews for what they're worth, as well as teaching me about crafting stories. The difference between my first and my last are startling!

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    1. The stress part is so hard isn't it? :-)

      And thanks for sharing about your fanfiction. I'm glad to hear that it's been a positive experience for you and that you've learned a lot through it!

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  2. I'm just starting out in my writing, really, so I don't know how much I would change yet. I'm sure in a few years, I will have more ideas about this. One thing I think I would change is my faith in myself. I wrote in high school, and then came to college. My younger brother was the one who found my writing on an old computer at home and believed enough in it to help me get it published. Even during the whole process, though, I held myself back. I didn't let myself get too excited. I guess it was part of the fear of rejection, a fear of not being good enough. The only reason I'm published right now is because my brother thought I was good enough. So if I could go back, I would believe in myself a little bit more.

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    1. It's so easy to second guess ourselves in our writing. Inherently we DO have a difficult time remaining objective about our work. It's hard to see the value as well as the problems. I think that's one reason why it's so critical to get input from others at some point in our writing journey, just not too early (IMO).

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  3. I'm sorry I used an assisted publishing service (iUniverse) to publish my first novel. I could have saved that thousand dollars and received a higher royalty as I did the next time around when I used Amazon's print on demand and e-book system. It added insult to injury when l I found it that iUniverse would charge me $300 to fix 4 small typos something that would take me five minutes to do. Ouch!

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    1. Ouch, sounds right! With the ease of self-publishing these days, the need for vanity presses has definitely gone down! Thank goodness! :-)

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  4. The biggest thing I would change is my expectation of revisions. After I got my first contract, I'd worked so hard on my novel and gotten it just perfect. Having to go back and spend another two months to fix a bunch of problems I hadn't seen before was eyeopening. Also, I had a really big expectation that once I got my FIRST contract, the second would fall handily in my lap. Not so. It was almost harder to get that contract for my second novel than it was for my first.

    One thing I would never, ever change is getting involved with my crit partner Melissa. Her critical eye makes my writing so much better, and she's a huge blessing to me as a friend as well. I know not everyone has wonderful experiences with crit partners, but I sure have! :-)

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    1. Great point, Naomi! I would definitely have to revise my ideas of revisions too! :-)( They're much harder than I ever anticipated (mostly on my ego!). I've learned that it's pretty tough to get a "perfect" book during a first draft and that it takes skilled eyes to be able to point out the flaws in the story. And ultimately there will ALWAYS be flaws that we'll need to go back and fix no matter how many books we've written. :-)

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  5. Absolutely loved your post today, Jody! (Could you see my head nod as I read?)

    I wouldn't trade my writing journey, but I do wish I'd learned some things sooner. I echo much of what you said, especially setting better boundaries with my time.

    In the beginning I blogged five days a week; now, I do three. I love making new friends through blogging, FB, Twitter, etc., though I'm careful not to jump on all of the social media platforms because, at the moment, my main focus should be writing.

    Thanks for sharing!

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    1. Oh so glad the post resonated today, Cynthia! While blogging was especially exciting when I first started, I probably wasted a lot of time on it that could have been better spent elsewhere. Wish I could go back and change that and take the pressure off myself! But I have taken it off now, and that's what counts! :-)

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  6. Excellent post today. Like you, I'm glad I wrote in solitude for those first few manuscripts and I'd never take back all the learning and reading of craft books.

    I could use more patience. :)

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    1. Thanks, Jessica! With the invention of the internet, solitude is almost becoming a thing of the past. And while there are many benefits to all of the resources that are available to beginning writers, the pressure is INTENSE! I'm not sure that I would have held up under it!

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  7. Excellent post, Jody. I am very thankful I lived in a bubble when I wrote my first three manuscripts. Any harsh criticism would have made me question myself to a point I probably wouldn't have continued.

    One thing I would have done differently? (Not that I could have!!) I could have saved myself some heartache by realizing it really IS in God's hands.

    I can study, show up and write, improve, be on top of the industry, but I can't force an editor to offer me a contract. When seasoned writers told me, "Markets change, the industry changes, and all these things can mean you won't get a contract," I wish I would have listened.

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    1. Jill, the harsh criticism too soon can be so devastating. I'm glad I waited to enter contests, etc. until I was a bit further along and had the basic writing techniques learned. Even with that, the feedback can be brutal. But at least we have some confidence to go on.

      Aw, and that changing industry! It's so hard because none of us, seasoned or not, can really predict what's going on anymore. We're all still riding the waves and trying to determine where we're going! :-)

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  8. I appreciate your comments about the extent of blogging. I recently started to blog, but I don't want my posts there to take away from my MS. Balance is key.

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    1. And I believe the nature of blogging is changing too. The push that was once so strong is abating, and so I think writers are breathing easier about it and putting the emphasis on the things that matter most-namely writing good books! :-)

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  9. I wish I had set aside more time for writing too. I also wish I had started sending my work out earlier; I didn't have the nerve to submit stories anywhere until a couple years ago, and I kept my writing a secret. But now I finally started sending stuff out, and it makes me feel good to be making the effort.

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    1. Yes, it's always so hard to know when we're finally "ready" to send our work out. I agonized over whether I was ready to enter a writing contest, the same contest that helped me gain my agent and book deal. I cringe to think of what I would have lost out on had I not had the courage to enter the contest.

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  10. Thanks for sharing Jody. I've had a lot of things that I wish I had done and not done as well. I can relate to blogging too much. I have finally got a handle on my blogging and that has eased off some of the pressure I put on myself. The hardest part for me in regards to social media is when to say enough is enough. In the old days, writing was easier because there were less distractions. Now too many things tempt me and give me an excuse to avoid writing - especially when I'm in the editing stage! :) The key for me is finding a balance in my life - time for prayer, bible study, family, writing and a wee bit of social media/marketing.

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    1. Hi Laura, there are definitely many more distractions these days to the writer. Over the past several years, I've come to the conclusion that while social media is a good tool, it just can't be the priority in my writing career. So I place getting my daily word count at the top of my to do list. :-) I want to stay visible on social media, but I figure most people understand how difficult it is to write and manage everything. So if I'm absent for a while or can't make it onto Twitter or FB, they'll know I'm just busy writing and being with my family.

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  11. One thing I would change is backing down from pursuing a creative writing degree because my father thought it was a waste of time. It has taken me years to unspeak what my father spoke into my mind during those years. I don't know if getting that degree would have gotten me published at an early age or not, but at least I would have been doing what I wanted.

    Along that line, where I am now is that I have rediscovered my love and my talent for writing, and now I have a family who wants to dictate what I write. Again, I am having to find the courage to say no to their demands and yes to where my writing interests lead me.

    I also wish I could educate my husband on the process of getting published. He thinks it's as easy as get it written and send it in; i can't convince him it's much more than that, and I'm not sure how to go about teaching him.

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    1. Your comment about your husband just inspired me to write a post for next week! Thanks for the idea. It is tough to educate our families. I'll share my struggles next week along with some of my philosophies! :-)

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  12. I wish I could have learned what I learned in the last four years about 24 years ago...but that's hindsight. And while I wasn't learning the writing piece, I was learning the life piece, so one way or another, I got there!

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    1. Liza, the "life piece" is SO important. I can't believe how much richer my writing is the more of life I live. I think the older we get, the more complexity we can add to our characters and stories, because we've been there ourselves and know the hurts, pains, and joys on a more intimate level. :-)

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  13. Great post, through which you put several writer myths to bed. That you "broke several rules" and yet have such enormous success just highlights how inaccurate those rules are. Your 2nd list will be cut out and pasted above my desk to remind me to chill, thank you.

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  14. This definitely resonated with me, Jody. I have a young daughter (11 months) who was born right before I signed a publishing contract. I too struggle with finding time to write around putting myself wholeheartedly into being her mom. I am learning, though, and now that she's sleeping through the night, I've found that writing late at night is best. I wouldn't have been able to do this with twins either! You are a strong woman! :)

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  15. I am still so new to the writing journey that I haven't had many successes or failures on which to reflect, but I wish I had read more in my teens. I know gleaned a great deal of insight into content-building and story design from watching hours of TV and film, but the pacing, cadence, and rhythms of those mediums are so different than those of a novel.

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  16. I'm just starting to really become a writer. I guess I've always written but never applied myself. I wish I attended writer's club in high school more often. It helped me so much when I did go.

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