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What To Do When You Feel Like a Lousy Writer

Sometimes I feel like I’m the worst writer in the world.

Yes, I recently had a mini identity crisis. I’ve realized that I usually have that crisis right about the time I read Galleys (the last set of edits I get to see before a book goes to print). 

And last week I was not only reading my Galleys for Unending Devotion (releasing Sept. 1), but I was also finishing up rewrites on A Noble Groom (releasing next spring). And . . . gearing myself up to start self-editing the first draft of a book I finished writing in May.

My internal editor was out in a BIG way. A VERY BIG way. 

Even though I’d already read and edited Unending Devotion numerous times, I was critical. Of Every. Single. Word. As I scrutinized the manuscript (in hard copy format), a heavy depression began to settle over me and push me down, until I was practically slumped on my desk with the weight of my melancholy.

All I could think was that my writing was mediocre at best, that I’d missed so many adverbs, that I’d over-described too many things, and that the story just wasn’t the way I’d wanted it. 

Most of all, I was thinking of my readers and how I didn’t want to disappoint them. I hear frequently from readers telling me they’re excited for my next release, and that they’re waiting anxiously to read another of my books. 

I did’t want to let them down with my story OR my writing. I didn’t want to give them something subpar. So I’d worked really hard on editing Unending Devotion.

But still . . . even after all the work, the fears crept in and taunted me. My insecurities rose up to whisper in my ear, reminding me of how much I still need to learn and grow.

The truth is I still have a long way to go in becoming a good novelist. I haven’t mastered the craft yet. I haven’t grasped everything there is to know about fiction-writing. And I’m not a perfect story-teller.

Most of us aren’t born with exemplary writing talent that pushes us to fame and fortune. Instead, the majority of us have to do the hard work of learning how to write. We have to study fiction techniques. We have to actively challenge ourselves to practice new things and develop better writing habits. 

I’m finding that even after several published books the need for learning doesn’t stop. I must continually refresh my skills, review basic fiction principles, and push myself to try new things that will make me better. 

In fact, during the past week, I pulled out two of my favorite editing books to re-read: Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne & Dave King and The First Five Pages by Noah Lukeman.

So am I really the worst writer in the world? And are my Galleys worthless? 

Probably not. In fact, I’ve been told Unending Devotion is a riveting story. One early reader told me it’s her favorite book of mine yet. My internal editor is likely being a little too hard on me. It can be a discouraging taskmaster at times.

What I’m learning is that as much as I like when things are going well, the good times don’t spur me to the high level of hard work the way discouragement does. In fact, when we’re feeling good about ourselves, we can become complacent and even start thinking we’ve arrived.

But when we’re feeling low, like we won’t amount to anything, we can’t let the discouragement derail us completely. Instead, we should let it humble us and push us toward improving our skills. Let it challenge us to do even better and work even harder.

That’s what I’ll be doing over the next several weeks—I’ll be jumping back into a personal fiction-writing refresher course so that I can continually be striving to write stories that readers will thoroughly enjoy.

What about you? Have you read a fiction-technique book lately that you’ve found helpful? I encourage you to take the challenge with me to read at least one fiction how-to book over the summer! Tell us in the comments which book you’d like to read. (And if you need some further suggestions, check out my Pinterest Board for Writing Books I’ve found especially helpful.)

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35 comments:

  1. Here are some of my favourites: http://hayleynjones.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/5-books-to-revamp-your-writing.html

    I'm trying to motivate myself at the moment, so this post has been very helpful. My writing is going so slowly that writing even terrible prose would be an improvement...

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  2. Jody, your honest words offer such hope to keep going! Especially when you said, "But when we’re feeling low, like we won’t amount to anything, we can’t let the discouragement derail us completely." I blogged today about something similar, yet uber personal. Discouragement arrives straight from the pit. The sooner we refuse delivery and send it back, the sooner we get back on track to finish what we've been called to do. Very well said, my Friend!

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  3. Learning and improving is a life-long pursuit. That's just how it is.

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  4. I can totally relate. I just turned in my galleys last week and it's been a roller coaster of emotions. It really is a little scary knowing this is the LAST pass. I'm so glad that you shared your thoughts and that it's not uncommon to feel uncertain and have doubts. Also glad that you felt encouraged! I had a few of the endorsements roll in during that week and it was just the boost I needed. Those both sound like good recommendations, I will check them out.

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  5. Makes me feel a bit better that I'm not the only one! I'm wading deep in revisions for my 2013 release and wonder why in the world I thought I could write! But like you, I try to keep learning. Just before this round of revisions I read Donald Maass's The Fire in Fiction. It was really good. But the Lord is so faithful. Just as I was feeling like a terrible writer yesterday, I got an email from my someone who has my ARC for my 2012 release who said he was loving that book. I keep trying to hold tight to Jesus and remember that in my weakness, He shows His strength, for I certainly couldn't do this on my own!

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  6. Jody, you just motivated me to read a couple of craft books in the next six weeks as I wait for revision notes for my first manuscript, turned in last Friday. Think I'll reread The Fire in Fiction and one I've had hanging around but never read called Between the Lines, by Jessica Morrell. Hard to settle on just two!

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  7. Jody, I'm a few books ahead of you and let me tell you that for writers who really care, like you do, this feeling hangs around--because after each novel we know more. We want to keep getting better. We set our standards higher. We see more fully where we need to grow.

    And if we keep learning, as you advocate, we will just keep getting better.

    In my seminars I go over the 7 critical success factors of fiction, and tell the students to assess where they are in each area, pick their weakest one, and design a self-study program for it. I show them the steps...steps I have actually taken at various times in my career.

    It is empowering to do this, because it means you never have to dwell in the Land of Istink. You move on through, slaying the dragons of doubt.

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  8. I think it's a good thing never to stop learning as an author. It makes us a better writer.

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  9. I struggle with this too, Jody. I'm so critical of my own writing. I always procrastinate reading my galleys because I'm afraid I'm not going to like my book. I have several craft books in my TBR pile right now - Self-Editing for Fiction Writers, Plot & Structure, and Rivet Your Readers with Deep Point of View.

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  10. I am so there with you, Jody! With everything going on, I worried I'd rushed the revisions on my latest book, that it didn't have the "heart" of my last book, that I could never aspire to be as good a writer as *you fill in the blank*!!

    It's hard, but I think keeping a learning spirit is key too. I'll always be learning! (And forgiving ourselves if we do make mistakes is important too.)

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  11. I hate my internal editor at times. Lately it's started telling things I should have done which are too late to change now, either because the book has moved on to copy edits, or has already been queried.

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  12. I think if we care we are probably going to be very critical of our writing. But somehow we get past it and move on or we get stuck. Wonderful post, Jody. I'm currently reading JSB's Conflict and Suspense.

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  13. You know I love this post. I've always appreciated your honest and humble spirit, Jody. I'll never tire of telling you that.

    You teach me so much.

    I'm deeply entrenched in edits and I've been brushing up on Bell's Plot & Structure and a few other plot-related craft books.

    ~ Wendy

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  14. I love your honesty here. I think doubts are just commonplace for a writer. Ultimately, we have to do our best and pray that God can still use us.

    I've been reading a lot of craft books lately. Self-Editing for Fiction Writers was soooo good, as was JSB's Plot & Structure.

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  15. Second Sight: An Editor's Talks on Writing, Revising, and Publishing Books for Children and Young Adults -- Cheryl Klein (an editor at Scholastic)

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  16. I was just thinking this last night, so I'm going to try and finish "Save the Cat" this summer and then find a good one on editing.

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  17. I took your advice and read "Art of War for Writers" by James Scott Bell and liked it so much that I got his "Plot and Structure" as well. Very practical and helpful.

    And it's very comforting to know that even published authors have those moments when they want to throw it all in the trash. Thank you for the advice to not give up, but to never stop learning how to be better, either.

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  18. I'm so nervous about a second book and if readers will like it. Blech.
    I don't usually read fiction how-to books but I like to go back and reread different articles.

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  19. Jody said : 'Sometimes I feel like I’m the worst writer in the world'
    My reaction (literally: 'WHAT???'
    Yes, I am one of those readers who shamelessly applauds Jody's writing! But you know what? I appreciate your honesty Jody! And these are not only lessons for writing, but life in general. I can definetely relate, this is a learning process. It's interesting because I'm thinking of the comparison you made between writers and musicians in one of the previous post. I've worn both hats and I think both of them tend to be perfectionists which can be a good thing because it pushes us to be better!

    =)
    Ganise

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  20. ouh, almost forgot!
    Anytime great writers like you need ideas or help with writing, hop on to the Seekerville blog (you will NOT regret it). Of course Jody does a beautiful job with hers too!

    Ganise

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  21. I paid for an edit on my first chapter and got back the comments. Oh yes, I feel like the worst writer ever and wonder how I will ever make my character sound the way she should--but I haven't given up.

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  22. Thanks for this, Jody. My internal editor works in every-tightening spirals! At the start I think my first drafts are pretty rough but have promise. I revise repeatedly, but each time I see things that need improvement. The more I revise, the more discouraged I get, until I can't stand to work on it any longer and shove it aside into the notorious closet.

    I keep thinking each new story will be better than the last, but the cycle repeats. As a painter, I understand the saying that an artist is never totally satisfied with his work, but I hope one day to prove it wrong. :)

    Recently I pulled an old copy of William Zinsser's ON WRITING WELL off the shelf to re-read. It calls itself "an informal guide to writing nonfiction", and I'm currently working on a nonfiction contest entry. I'm finding encouragement for my novel writing as well.

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  23. Yes! I struggle with those types of thoughts a LOT. But I don't have anything published yet :S Good to know those thoughts will never go away... Haha!

    I bought The Writer's Portable Mentor recently and it's a GREAT read for beginner writers. I'm learning a lot of things I SHOULD have learned from my bachelor's in creative writing... And I will definitely have to check out Plot & Structure and Self-Editing for Fiction Writers. Ah, the ever-growing TBR list...

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  24. Jody, I love your blog. It was one of the first I came across when starting my own blogging journey and I'm so happy God directed me here. I love your honesty and your "open book" approach to your writing and sharing. I've asked myself this a hundred times in the past few months and I know I will continue to no matter where my publishing journey takes me.

    Right now I am reading Kiss & Tell by Susan May Warren! I love it and would highly recommend it to others. I also picked up her Book Buddy and I'm finding it to be very helpful, as well. Good luck with all the editing - you're an amazing writer and your passion shines through.

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  25. Sharing Words Motivation
    Smile, leave sedihmu. Bahagialah, forget takutmu. Who you feel sick, no equivalent would you be happy.
    Tears do not always show sadness, sometimes because we laughed happily with our best friend.

    may be useful and can be received sis, Greetings, success has always been and I wait behind the visit: D

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  26. Hey everyone! I'm loving all your suggestions for summer reads. I hope we'll all find at least one writing craft book that that we can use to challenge ourselves to grow this summer (or winter for my southern hemisphere friends!).

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  27. Jody, I can sooo relate! One thing I do that helps me out when I'm feeling this way is to remember what a far more experienced and successful author told me once. She said, "Write the best book you can right now." The key is "right now." We're all hopefully going to be better writers in the future, but if you're confident that this is as good as you can make it "right now," then celebrate, rejoice and let go.

    And then, if I'm still feeling down, I re-read an early book from a favorite author, because I'm encouraged to see how their writing has grown.

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  28. Thank you for such an honest post, Jody. You have no idea how much it was needed by so many of us. This is my first year to enter contests and while judges comments were mostly encouraging, the critiques stung. I found myself voicing your opening sentence. After a few weeks of intense prayer, I was able to pick up the pieces of my ego and start revising. The manuscript is so much better. You were so right about it being a constant learning experience. Thanks again.

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  29. This post comes at a good time for me. I tried working on my manuscript tonight, but I could only write a couple pages. It felt like I had already written everything I needed to say, and yet I knew that there was still more to the story. But almost everything I wrote just didn't feel right.
    I recently reread Natalie Goldberg's Old Friend from Far Away. It's about writing memoirs, but I think it's good for fiction writing too. She offers a lot of great writing prompts. I just wish I could take a class with her, but she lives in New Mexico and I doubt that Chicago is her type of place; from what she's written she seems very outdoorsy and down-to-earth, and her description of her home sounds a lot different from what Chicago has to offer.

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  30. Thanks for your honesty, Jody. Those Istink times are horrible and it's nice to know everyone has them. Really nice. (Sorry. That sounds unkind.) The comments were also very encouraging, and it was a special treat to hear from James Scott Bell.

    I hope you're back on top today!!

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  31. Not only have I been reading (more) fiction how-to books, but I've been diving into a sprint of reading short stories (and studying THAT craft) as I get ready to write a couple (more, I already have two out). We have to be constantly striving to improve ourselves, or stagnation is just a book away.

    But YOU are one of the people that has inspired me in the past in this very specific regard. I remember a post a year (or two?) ago where you insisted, even though you were already published, on not thinking that you had "arrived" - you were constantly pushing your craft forward.

    Please don't let that very special drive to become better get you down - if you had already written your best book, where would you have to go from here?

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  32. It's so nice to see this post right now. I am at the panic stage of my next story and full of doubt. That little voice in my head is certain no one is going to like my story and it's far from ready. Never mind the fact, two beta readers already gave it 4 stars on Goodreads and my editor emailed me to say she loved it and is excited to be working on it. But I still doubt and feel all alone. This helps to know that I'm not alone and even more seasoned writers feel the same way I do. Thanks.

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  33. I highly recommend Jill Elizabeth Nelson's ebook, "How to Rivet Your Readers through Deep POV."

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  34. Words sharing Motivation
    Smile, leave sedihmu. Bahagialah, forget takutmu. Who you feel sick, no equivalent would you be happy.
    Tears do not always show sadness, sometimes because we laughed happily with our best friend.
    unacceptable and may be useful: D Greetings: D

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  35. Great post! I deal with that all the time. It is nice to know that published writers, and awesome ones at that!, feel the same. Thank you for sharing your feelings. I hope to remember your words of encouragement when I "get there" some day.

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