Making A Commitment

It’s easy to fall in love. Most of us have taken the plunge into love at some point in our lives. In fact we may have broken up and fallen in love on many occasions.

But there comes a time when we decide that we’re not playing around with love anymore and that we need to make a serious commitment.

We take those slow steps down the aisle, exchange shy smiles and golden rings. And we declare before God and witnesses to have and to hold each other from this day forward and forevermore.

Marriage. We enter it with such high hopes and dreams. The future stretches before us and we’re positive that nothing can stop us from having the greatest marriage ever, from beating the odds, from being different from everyone else.

In the last post, we shared how we fell in love with our writing. Most of us have indeed developed a love affair with our writing. Eventually we have to ask ourselves how serious we want to get. How far do we take our writing? How much commitment do we want to give to it?

Some of us may be at a point where we love writing but we're not ready to get married to it. Perhaps we’re too busy with other life responsibilities to be able to devote enough time to writing seriously. We're content to dabble, to write when we have time or energy. And we're looking forward to the day, sometime in the future when we can finally say "I do" and give it a full-hearted commitment.

There may be others of us who are getting more serious. We've been dating our writing for a long time. We're ready to take our writing career to the next level. We know we need to make a greater commitment to it if we want to succeed.

But then there are some of us who don't really know what we want. Maybe we lack vision or goals. Maybe we lack the discipline to commit. Or perhaps the idea of getting serious about writing gives us cold feet.

Personally, I struggle with how much commitment to give writing at this point in my life. Do I continue to view it as a part time endeavor that I squeeze around the other priorities of my life? Or should I start to consider it a full time career? This is a tough question for me, since my Mom-job is already full time.

My writing commitment has increased gradually over the past couple of years, so the transition has been relatively smooth for myself and my family. If there comes a point when I need to give even greater amounts of time and commitment, I pray for the wisdom to balance both my jobs.

Where are you at? Dating or marriage or somewhere in between? Do you ever struggle with how much commitment to give to your writing?

What happens when the honeymoon is over? Join in on Friday for more discussion!


  1. This is a tough one.

    I told my hubby the other day that it feels like I have 3 full time jobs sometimes. I'm a mom/wife, and that carries a lot of demands (which I dont mind at ALL!), I'm an employee/boss for a large chunk of every day, and I'm a writer. Does that mean I'm having an affair with two of the three??? *grin* Never thought myself a cheater but....

    Seriously, with my writing, it comes and goes. There are times, like for the next 8 weeks, that I know I have to spend more time writing. Then there are other times, like the months of December and January, where my writing has to take a back burner and my job is most important. Then other times during "really important times" like tball season, birthdays, school starting, holidays etc where my family has to have almost all of my time.

    Am I married to my writing? Yes. I decided a while ago if I'm going to do this thing, I'm not going to do it half-baked.

  2. I'd say marriage, but like marriage there are seasons when things really seem to be connecting and going smoothly, then there are seasons where it all feels like work.
    I'm enjoying these analogies!
    ~ Wendy

  3. Just celebrated 25 years IRL, so I think I'm dedicated/devoted if nothing else, and way past the 7-year itch phase. :) Now...if life would slow down, I'd really get busy with the writing.

    Drop by and read an interview with a writing master if you get a chance today. :)

  4. I was seriously committed to writing in my 20s, before my marriage fell apart. But my life took a chaotic turn for a few years. Even then, though, I wrote...I just put all that creative energy into blogging. Now I'm rediscovering my love for novel-writing and I regret ever straying.

  5. I would say I was dating writing or possibly engaged to my writing, but that doesn't seem quite right. I honestly feel like I'm back in college, having to work full time to pay for it.

    I'm a mom/wife and I work part time in my first chosen career, so I have no choice but to put writing third on the list at certain parts of the year.

    So, while I'm definitely committed to Writing, like all relationships, we have rocky times here and there. Tax season (I'm a CPA) is one of those rocky times when Writing and I are forced to take a break. But it's always a very emotional break because I love Writing so much.

  6. Hmmm, great questions here. I'd have to say I'm committed to writing, but I also know how much time I want to give it. Now, when I get an agent, my commitment will grow. I guess the agent will be my engagement ring? LOL!
    I write during naps and in the evening if my hubby is busy. Otherwise so far it hasn't eaten into any time but entertainment time.
    I've thought about if I got a contract and know I'd have to up my commitment. The thought is a little scary so I'm trusting that God will bring about publication in his timing, when it can be helpful for the whole family for me to devote more time to writing. Does that make sense? I treat writing as a commitment and business, but right now it falls below other things, like cleaning my house. LOL

  7. Definitely married, though like marriage, sometimes the energy I put into it fades and I get a rude awakening to smarten up.

    Everything in life requires balancing and adjusting with the bends and turns. I just keep praying for God's guidance on all this.

  8. I think I'm in the obsessed stalkerish stage. I refuse to be denied. :)Hope it doesn't result in a restraining order.

  9. I feel I'm married to my writing. It's sometimes a stormy relationship. We fight. It cajoles. I bribe. I pout. It pushes and prods. When we're on speaking terms, it's amazing and we're able to blitz through, making memories and and securing our relationship further.

    I understand the feeling of working more than one full time job. I have four! I'm a wife, a receptionist, a writer, and an in-the-process small business owner. And I'm hoping to add college student to that list (fifth time's the charm, right?)Whew! But my heart lies with writing and that's where I focus most of my energy.


  10. Love your posts! I feel every one of them is personally addressed to me and where I am with my writing.You give me introspection, encouragement and direction.

    I'm married to writing and have lots of time to dedicate to it thanks to retirement and a wonderful, encouraging husband.

    But health issues, be it pain or meds, make it difficult to write as much or as often as I'd like. So sometimes the marriage is full of blessings (on the days where I write pages)and other times it struggles to overcome adversity.

    But I trust in God to provide and lead me where He wants me to go and when. I'm learning patience (ugh!) through the process.

  11. I am wedded. And sometimes I want a DIVORCE! But then I yell at the keyboard and the keyboard yells back and great things are written.

  12. I really like your analogy. You're forcing me to take a deeper look at my writing and my committment to it. With six kids, homeschooling four of them, being a pastor's wife and working a full time job, I do feel like sometimes I'm just phoning in on the writing. It's hard to know how to balance everything.

  13. I'm married. And I'm going to start calling you the Queen of Analogies!! :)

  14. This is an absolutely fabulous comparison to writing. I think it's what I was trying to say on my blog yesterday about professionalism. Because really, how committed are you?

    For me, if someone asked, I'd say yes in a heartbeat. I'm just waiting for the right person (aka agent) to propose, you know?

    Great post!

  15. I'm pretty darn committed at this point, but I'm waiting for the other party in the equation (a potential agent) to feel the same!

  16. Hi Jody! I've missed checking in with you! I'm still in that delightful honeymoon phase where writing is still fun and obsessive. I've been in this phase for over two years, so I hope it lasts!

  17. EVERY DAY is a commitment struggle! I chose to stay home with my two boys (both under 5), so they take up the majority of my time for sure (as I know you can relate)! I guess I'd have to fall into the dating category, or maybe even "engaged" :)

  18. I'd have to say dating with an almost engagement??? I don't know. Too early to tell, I suppose. Like Heather, a full time job plus ministry pulls away from writing. I am in the first throes of love, fresh and exciting. I suppose time will tell if I have the dedication and committment to stick with it.

  19. I must be getting closer to marriage since I've been getting up at five to write. Ugh!

    Lynnette Labelle

  20. Sometimes I feel like writing is the mistress that I'm almost ready to leave my first lover for. Like you, Jody, I've been gradually dedicating more and more of my life to my writing. It becomes more time-consuming, more satisfying, and I'm making slightly more progress with it every day. Then, this last year, I had a chance to truly make writing the major part of my life for six months. I didn't expect much, but I have fallen head over heels for it, and now, more than ever, I'm ready to get married to it. But, it's a scary process!

  21. I’ve come to see writing as my calling, so when I ask myself if I’m committed to writing I’m asking myself if I’m committed to reaching people for God.
    For me and many of my friends, writing at times can also be an addiction, something we need to do, not just what we want to do. I don’t know if that produces better stories…
    Thanks for reminding us that ultimately this is a decision we’ll have to make.

  22. Married, and still in love.

    But like any marriage, it's work, joy, committment, frustration, patience, passion, care, warmth, enlightening, and so much more.

  23. Writing is part of my work, so I must devote time to it anyway. How much to devote after "work hours", like late a night, is another issue. Frankly, I'm sometimes too tired to write then. A bigger issue for me since I started blogging - how much to devote to it.

    There are different blogging sites I visit - religious, family, writing. I like them all. How can you visit all of the people who follow and all the people who post comments on your site? That takes time.

    There are several very good writing sites I visit, yours being one of them, as well as some of the others who comment here (hi!). But, it is getting harder to stay current!

    I just recommended Nicole O'Dell's site to Terri T and I think you would enjoy it, too:
    I'll also rec that she pops in over here.


  24. Thanks for all of your GREAT comments today everyone! I gain so much encouragement when I read all of your thoughts! It keeps me persevering! Thank you!

  25. Jody: Do you lay awake nights thinking up fun, tremendous questions for us? You are so creative!

    I am married to my writing, in that I'm very committed to it as more than just a hobby. It is my calling and career. But since I also work full time, our marriage is like those where the spouses live far apart during the week then only see each other on weekends. It stinks, but I'll never consider a divorce.
    That would break my heart.

    Jen, Audience of ONE

  26. I'm loving these posts, Jody!

    I'd say I just bought the wedding dress, hired the caterer, booked the church, and am ready to walk the aisle. :)


  27. My writing is a jealous, posessive and moody partner. Somedays I swear it needs prozac ;)

    honestly, I'm looking forward to school getting back in session so I don't have the mommy guilt that summer writing brings.

  28. Right now, my writing seems to be playfully wooing me, calling me into further commitment. Playful as it is, I can tell the writing is serious about me, and so is my interest in writing, but there are other distractions that keep claiming my attention that are vitally important as well. They say that true love is all about timing, and I keep hoping that the time is right for this, but I'm a bit confused at the moment. So my goal for the next several months is to fall to God for the answer. Is this a match made in heaven? Is this what He wants for me, and at this time? Is the allure of this writing thing His will as well as mine? If so, then I'm certain things will fall into place nicely for us, in His time. :)

  29. I'm married to writint in the sense that I'm not going to give it up. But like any long-term marriage, you don't focus on it all the time. Sometimes there's gusto and sometimes you hardly notice it. If it is really a part of you, it will come out.
    You have inspired me to do some new, fresh, creative themes. Thanks for all the encouragement.

  30. I think I'm between dating and marriage - maybe a serious committed relationship? The next step would be getting published, then I'd consider making things more official;)

  31. I've been chewing on this question all day, and I have to say I'm relieved to see that it's not a "happy marriage" for everyone else. Makes me feel a little less guilty!

    Because of the nature of my writing, I find myself in seasons when I simply can't write...because I have a strain in my relationship with God. This is such a time. For the last few weeks I've had a disconnect with Him that has, in turn, put a temporary halt to my writing. But I'm thankful that He is faithful to restore broken relationships and I know that the flow of writing will return as the flow of connection to Him returns as well.

  32. Good morning Jody! It was great meeting you at WNO last night as well. I just wanted to say thanks for choosing to follow my blog and welcome you to Living Life in God's Truth and Grace circle of friends.

    Hope you have a wonderful day!

  33. Just what's been on my mind... Not just about writing, but about life in general. What am I truly passionate about and what am I truly willing to commit to?

    My marriage and my family are the easy choices. I want to be committed to my writing, but I'm not at the level of commitment I want. I'm wrestling a bit with making time for the things that are important to me personally vs. doing the things I've always done.

  34. I was in the newlywed stage for a couple of years, but now I think I've fallen in a rut. Maybe I need counseling?! Great post, girl! I've missed you!


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