Embrace Your Beautiful Uniqueness

In my family, we have the tradition of putting up our Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving. My husband has off work, and thus can make the time in his otherwise busy schedule to bring up the boxes, fiddle around with the branches that have gotten bent in storage, and change the miniature bulbs as he strings all 5000 lights. (Okay, so maybe not quite 5000, but it sure seems like it!)

Once he does the hard work of putting together everything into some resemblance of a tree, we then bring up five boxes of ornaments—one for each of my children. Like many of you, we give our children a special ornament every Christmas. And of course, their boxes wouldn’t be complete without all of the handcrafted ornaments they’ve made.

As you can imagine, over the years our tree has become more and more crowded. Odd-shaped beaded candy canes, marker-scribbled snowmen, and blue stained glass Santas adorn the branches. Those handmade ornaments intermingle with the more glamorous mementos to Baby’s 1st Christmas, special hamsters, and Star Wars creatures.

The first week or so after our tree is decorated, my youngest children like to play with their ornaments. They take off a few, have a mini-family reunion with them under the tree, then put them back on—usually on the branch already bent with several heavy ornaments. They repeat this many times each day, crowding even more ornaments into the same spot, so that eventually the tree starts to lean.

Then there’s the cat. He thinks the tree and all the dangling ornaments are especially designed for his pouncing pleasure.

You get the point. By mid-December, my Christmas tree looks like a mini-tornado has hit it.

Occasionally in the past, I would tell myself I really needed to get a new tree without the wobbly branches, one that I can decorate with matching ribbons and glass balls, one with all of the glitzy and glimmering ornaments that I drool over at Pier 1 Imports.

Nevertheless, I’ve resisted the temptation. And eventually I’ve come to realize that my teetering, slightly dilapidated, very imperfect tree is actually quite beautiful.

Beautiful, you ask? How so?

For one very important reason—because the tree is uniquely mine.

It represents me and my family to the fullest essence. From the crazy crowded chaos down to the oddest ornament, each aspect of the tree stands for years of memories (both the joys and sorrows), layers of family differences, and all of the wonderful ingredients that make my family (and me) unique.

If I tried to copy some other family’s tree, or tried to make our tree look like a page out of Better Homes & Gardens, I’d miss the wonderful beauty that makes up my family.

In a world that pressures us to conform, it’s all too easy to overlook the unique beauty that each one of us has in our families and individually. We’re bombarded with ads and entertainment that subtly (and not so subtly) push us to be like everyone else.

Even in the writing world, we often feel the pressure to conform to a certain mold in order to make our books appealing and saleable. And yet we can’t lose sight of the little things, nuances, quirks, and aspects that make up who we are. All of those things come together to form our unique, beautiful identity that helps us to stand apart from everyone else.

This holiday season I urge us all to embrace the unique beauty inside ourselves and our families. Let your life (and Christmas tree!) reflect the uniqueness of YOU. And let your writing reflect all of the unique beauty of your experiences, personality, and depth of who you are.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

P.S. I will be taking a break from blogging next week. See you on Tuesday Jan. 3.

Write Tight: 3 Pieces of Advice I Wish I’d Known Earlier

Last month I was on a panel at a writer’s conference, and one of the questions was “What piece of writing advice do you wish you’d known earlier?”

My answer had mostly to do with the need to write tight. Early in my writing career, I had trouble writing succinctly—particularly in knowing what to include and what to leave out. And lately as I’ve been reading entries for a contest I’m helping to judge, I’ve noticed that many young writers have a similar struggle and often add more than is necessary.

So, here are three pieces of advice I wish I’d known earlier about writing tight:

1. Make Every Scene Count:

Before I write a scene, I envision a stage and my characters upon it. Who would want to go to a play and watch the actors meander around the stage talking to themselves or reflecting on problems while eating, getting ready, shopping, driving in the car, talking on the phone, etc.? Or thinking about their past (aka backstory)? Big yawn.

Rather than the mundane and ordinary, our audience wants to be entertained by the unfolding story. Put the characters on stage and have them jump right into the action. Start the conflict. Get the story moving. EACH scene needs to be critically important to the plot and story development or it needs to see the lovely black end of the delete button.

If we eliminate static scenes, then readers will come to expect that every scene in our book adds suspense or value to the plot, even when we slow the pace. The more succinct and necessary we make each scene, the fewer parts readers will be able to skim or skip.

2. Make Every Character Count:

Before I add a new character (particularly a minor one), once again I envision a stage. I check to see if any of the other characters who are already on stage can do the job first.

First, I don’t want my stage becoming cluttered with too many characters. Our audience will have a hard time keeping them all straight even if we do our best to give them unique tags and names. So when I need a minor character, I try to use one I’ve already brought onto the stage earlier (rather than add a completely new character).

Second, I try not to name all of my minor characters unless I need to do so for clarity’s sake. Even those I strategically place on the stage don’t get names. And if they get a “speaking part,” it’s often in a generic sense like: One of the other farmers said, “Go on you big chicken. Ask her to dance.”

The point is if we write tight with our characters, we increase the potential for them becoming more memorable versus getting lost on the crowded stage.

3. Cut the Flowery Descriptions:

When I write descriptions, I look at the stage and decide what props I need and why. I don’t wax eloquent about the weather or the clothing or the people passing by—just because I want to. I make myself have a reason for adding in those details.

Of course, as a historical writer, one of my important jobs is to bring to life a bygone era. Since readers haven’t been to the 1830’s Oregon Trail (the setting for The Doctor’s Lady), I have to find ways to create the aura of that setting. Even though I add in historical details to bring the era to life, I still try to do so with extreme care.

Sometimes I add setting details to create a certain mood. Other times, I describe things that play a role in the plot. The point is that I try to use description as strategically as possible. And, I try to weave it in seamlessly so that readers see the description through the eyes of the point of view character as the action unfolds.

Anytime we use flowery prose for the sake of sounding beautiful, that usually means we need to make another date with our delete key.

Have you ever had trouble deciding what to include and what to leave out of your story? In what area do you have the most trouble with writing tight?

The Inevitable Identity Crisis That Happens After Publication

I wasn’t going to write this post. But after talking with numerous published authors over the past year and reading Elana Johnson’s post last week about her struggle after publication, I decided I needed to open up the topic.

Most authors don’t talk publicly about the after-publication crisis that happens. We put on our happy public persona and just keep going. But in reality, most of us experience an identity crisis at some point after publication where we question everything and wonder what in the world we’re doing. I know have. On more than one occasion.

Writerly crises are triggered by any number of things: a bad review, a low royalty check (or NO royalty check), an unexpected or difficult rewrite, low sales figures, not getting reader emails, dismal Amazon rankings, long dry spells without hearing from your agent or editor, bewildering advice, etc., etc., etc.

The trigger unleashes a gush of emotions and questions. We start asking ourselves things like: Why do I strive so hard? Why am I am putting in two hundred percent when there’s often so little to show for it? Is it really worth the pain, the sweat, the tears, and the uncertainty?

The questions beat against us.

But we can’t complain. At least not publicly.

First, if we publicly complain about any aspect of our publication process, we might inadvertently place publishers or other industry professionals in a negative light—and we don’t want to jeopardize our working relationships with anyone.

And second, if authors publicly complain, we sound ungrateful for being published. We know there are many other writers who would gladly trade places with us—problems and all. We think, “What right do I have to complain? I’m published. My dream came true. I shouldn’t be ungrateful.”

Thus, we keep shoving our complaints deep inside.

Until we reach the breaking point—when the pressure of everything builds up and explodes.

Before publication, most of us have dreams of what we think being a published author will be like. And the more we rub shoulders with other writers and fan the flame for publication, the larger our dreams become, until we’ve made being a published author into this HUGE, BIG deal—perhaps bigger than it really is.

Isn’t it that way with most things out of our reach? We long for something. But the more it’s denied us, the more intensely we want it. And we start to think it will be SO fabulous when we finally get it.

Our expectations grow with our longing, until eventually, our expectations are slightly (or maybe greatly) out of proportion with reality.

Now I’m not saying that being a published author isn’t wonderful. It is. I’m thrilled and grateful to have two books on the shelf and a couple more heading down the publication pipeline. I adore hearing from readers. And I love being a part of the publishing industry.

But I’ve also realized that the grass isn’t necessarily greener on the published author side. There’s still an incredible amount of hard work, rejection, uncertainty, and waiting. There’s very little glitz and glamor. The hoopla never lasts very long. And I’m still just an ordinary person.

So, what have I learned through all my writing crises?

• An identity crisis or reality check is fairly normal for most writers, especially after the first book or two. We can’t help but question who we are and what we’re doing.

• We need a couple of closer writer friends with whom we can be completely honest, who will listen and not condemn us when we face uncertainties.

• We need to keep our expectations grounded. It’s hard to put aside those huge dreams we have of published author life. But the more realistically we go into publication, the better.

• Use those crises for evaluation. I let my difficult times push me to evaluate what’s working, what isn’t, and what I might need to do differently.

• When things get rough, we can’t have the “if only . . .” mindset. “If only I’d self-published, I’d be making more money.” Or “If only I’d traditionally published, things would be so much easier.” We may think having a different publisher, editor, agent, etc. will cure our insecurities. As I said above, the grass won’t necessarily be greener on the other side. I rub shoulders with enough authors in various publishing scenarios to know everyone has their share of problems.

• Realize that if you’re expecting instant fame and fortune, a writing career may not be for you. Instead, be prepared for a slow, steady upward climb.

So there you have it. If you’re a published author, have you experienced an identity crisis at some point? And if you’re not published yet, are you keeping your expectations realistic enough about life after publication?

How Much Time Should Writers Devote to Social Media?

Let’s face it. Building our social media followings takes a lot of time and hard work. (See this post: How To Build a Blog Following From the Ground Up)

For those who thrive on social networking, it’s all too easy to let facebook, twitter, and blogging, eat away at our limited time.

And for those who cringe at the idea of having to carve out more time for social media, it’s just as easy to sit in the corner and whine about all of the problems related to building an online presence.

Either way, social media is here to stay. We can’t let it control us nor can we scoff at it. We need to learn to use it wisely.

And part of learning to use it wisely is figuring out how much time to give it. How much time should a writer spend on social media sites if they hope to establish a decent following and build a platform?

There’s no easy answer to that question. But I’m going to attempt to lay out my thoughts on it.

1. Beginning to middle level writers:

Beginning writers should spend LESS time on social media (and less time worrying about their platforms) and should spend MOST of their concentrated work time learning how to write—studying and practicing (See this post: 6 Tips For Making the Learning of Fiction Techniques Less Painful)

The prevalence of social media and all of the talk about building platforms has put undue pressure on newer writers (those working on their first book or two). Many beginners are jumping in too strong and pushing to develop followings too hard and thus taking valuable time away from really learning how to write saleable fiction.

I’m not saying beginning writers shouldn’t have blogs or chat on twitter. Because I don’t think it’s ever too early to get connected, meet other writers, and develop friendships. But I do think new writers should take the pressure off themselves, sit back, and focus on first things first—learning how to write good books.

2. Writers nearing publication: 

Writers who’ve received critical and objective feedback that they’re moving toward publishable quality writing are ready to vamp up their social media time quota. This happened for me about the time I was ready to query. I found those months while I was querying, getting rejections, and waiting on agent responses, to be a good time to take social media to the next level.

I used those many months to visit blogs, meet new people, and get comfortable with social media. I scheduled in time almost every day for visiting and commenting on other blogs. I made a point of seeking out new people, not just on blogging but on twitter and facebook too.

However, I did NOT give social media more time than I gave my writing. I always, always kept writing in the midst of social networking. Through those early social media days, I learned to give my writing my best and most concentrated time, which has helped me do the same now after publication when blog tours, interviews, marketing, rewrites, etc. crowd in on writing time. I’ve trained myself to keep writing a priority even though other things demand my attention.

3. Published and beyond:

Around the time of publication, writers will find themselves becoming busier with other demands. We will likely have less time to spend visiting blogs and commenting and keeping up with everyone on facebook. Which is why if we wait to add social media until after getting a contract, we may not have the time and effort it takes to grow our followings.

I’ve had several friends email me and ask me how I was able to transition smoothly from less commenting and visiting without jeopardizing my following. If we’re well established as being reliable, offering consistent posts that resonate with readers, and we continue to be available to interact with friends in other ways (for me that is mainly through twitter), then we’ll likely be able to gradually diminish some of our earlier concerted efforts without ill-effects.

The bottom line is that eventually as we add in more, we can’t keep up with everything. We have to find ways to adjust or we’ll drive ourselves to exhaustion.

4. Non-fiction & self-published:

For those who are writing non-fiction or considering self-publication, devoting time to social media and developing a platform becomes even more critical. You will likely need to start earlier. And will probably need to continue to block in more time expanding your social media reach.

My summary: There’s no set amount of time any one writer “should” give to social media. As I’ve outlined, some of it will depend upon where we’re at in our writing journey. One thing is certain though, we can’t ever lose focus on what matters the most—writing a compelling, well-crafted book that readers can fall in love with.

How about you? Do you agree or disagree with my breakdown of how much time to spend on social media? And do you struggle to keep the time you spend on social media in balance?

What to Do With Contradictory Feedback (And 2 Star Reviews)

At some point every author will get contradictory feedback—from contest judges, critique partners, editors, readers, etc. It’s inevitable. Someone will say something completely opposite of someone else. And we can only scratch our heads and say, “Huh?”

I’m always fascinated to compare those contradictions. I browsed through the 90 Amazon reviews on The Doctor’s Lady (released Sept. 1) and picked out just a few of the more obvious contradictions: (emphasis is mine)

About the romance:

“The scenes where the husband and wife are falling in love with each other are a little intense. Nothing vulgar or across any lines, but enough to make me blush at times.”

“I soured on inspirational romance in part because I didn't feel it dealt realistically with the physical attraction between men and women. The tension and desire between Priscilla and Eli in The Doctor's Lady, however, is tangible. Jody handles it so tastefully that even people accustomed to the hand-holding-only atmosphere of other inspirational romances won't be offended by it.”

About the hero:

“At first, I didn't particularly care for Eli. I thought him crass and kind of a jerk.”

“It didn't take me long to fall in love with Eli's strong, but gentle ways. Wow, he sure sounded like a hunk.”

About the story development:

“I was bit disappointed. Not completely, because I was very impressed with Jody's writing, and I will definitely pick up more from her. The Doctor's Lady isn't about the Whitman's mission with the Nez Perce. It's completely about their journey to the Nez Perce . . . I was just hoping there was more of the plot actually involving Native Americans.”

“I love every part of this book: the adventurous journey, the interaction with the natives, the beautiful description of nature, the struggle and courage of the characters, everything!”

About the ending:

“Although the end is predictable, the journey there is heart-wrenching and engaging - never flat.”

“By the end of this book you feel things coming together and I felt like I could just explode in emotions and tears of joy and I was sad that it had to come to an end. This is one of those books that although you are satisfied with the ending, you are disappointed that you are done reading about the characters that moved your life!”

Comparing my first two books:

“After disliking Jody's first book, The Preacher's Bride, I was pleasantly surprised by Jody's second book, The Doctor's Lady, and I enjoyed reading it very much.”

“This is a good traditional romance, and while it lacks the power of Hedlund's first novel The Preacher's Bride, it will keep readers hooked to finally see Eli and Priscilla admit their love for each other.”

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So what do I take away from contradictions? (And there are plenty more in the Amazon reviews!) Here are several things I tell myself:

1. There will always be contradictory reviews. Always. Expect them. Accept them. And don’t worry about them.

2. Everyone will view a book through his or her own worldview glasses. Our religious beliefs, values, expectations, personalities, likes/dislikes—all of that will come into play for how we experience a story.

Thus what is acceptable and enjoyable for one person, may be completely opposite for another. That’s just the way it is. And there’s nothing we can do to change that. What that means is that as writers, we need to stay true to ourselves and know what’s important to us, even if that’s not going to please every single reader.

3. Give the most credence to industry experts when weighing contradictions. I look to my agent and my editors for advice. They have their fingers on the pulse of what my genre readers like through feedback and sales statistics. Over time, they’ve developed an expertise and an innate feel for what will resonate with readers and what won’t.

My point is that when we face contradictions, we may need to involve those more experienced than our readers to help give us the bigger picture of what works and what doesn’t.

4. Writers have to develop a thick skin. When I read reviews, I try to stay in the middle of the road. I don’t let the really high praise flatter me, and I don’t let two star reviews crush me. Because yes, the two stars DO eventually come.

One of my two star reviews on The Preacher’s Bride says “Not my cup of tea.” And I just had to laugh and realize the truth in the statement—my book just won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. And that’s okay.

In other words, let the negatives add new callouses, so that eventually we can take the pricks to our ego without letting them deflate us altogether.

How about you? Have you gotten contradictory feedback on your writing? How do you handle it?