Embrace Your Beautiful Uniqueness

In my family, we have the tradition of putting up our Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving. My husband has off work, and thus can make the time in his otherwise busy schedule to bring up the boxes, fiddle around with the branches that have gotten bent in storage, and change the miniature bulbs as he strings all 5000 lights. (Okay, so maybe not quite 5000, but it sure seems like it!)

Once he does the hard work of putting together everything into some resemblance of a tree, we then bring up five boxes of ornaments—one for each of my children. Like many of you, we give our children a special ornament every Christmas. And of course, their boxes wouldn’t be complete without all of the handcrafted ornaments they’ve made.

As you can imagine, over the years our tree has become more and more crowded. Odd-shaped beaded candy canes, marker-scribbled snowmen, and blue stained glass Santas adorn the branches. Those handmade ornaments intermingle with the more glamorous mementos to Baby’s 1st Christmas, special hamsters, and Star Wars creatures.

The first week or so after our tree is decorated, my youngest children like to play with their ornaments. They take off a few, have a mini-family reunion with them under the tree, then put them back on—usually on the branch already bent with several heavy ornaments. They repeat this many times each day, crowding even more ornaments into the same spot, so that eventually the tree starts to lean.

Then there’s the cat. He thinks the tree and all the dangling ornaments are especially designed for his pouncing pleasure.

You get the point. By mid-December, my Christmas tree looks like a mini-tornado has hit it.

Occasionally in the past, I would tell myself I really needed to get a new tree without the wobbly branches, one that I can decorate with matching ribbons and glass balls, one with all of the glitzy and glimmering ornaments that I drool over at Pier 1 Imports.

Nevertheless, I’ve resisted the temptation. And eventually I’ve come to realize that my teetering, slightly dilapidated, very imperfect tree is actually quite beautiful.

Beautiful, you ask? How so?

For one very important reason—because the tree is uniquely mine.

It represents me and my family to the fullest essence. From the crazy crowded chaos down to the oddest ornament, each aspect of the tree stands for years of memories (both the joys and sorrows), layers of family differences, and all of the wonderful ingredients that make my family (and me) unique.

If I tried to copy some other family’s tree, or tried to make our tree look like a page out of Better Homes & Gardens, I’d miss the wonderful beauty that makes up my family.

In a world that pressures us to conform, it’s all too easy to overlook the unique beauty that each one of us has in our families and individually. We’re bombarded with ads and entertainment that subtly (and not so subtly) push us to be like everyone else.

Even in the writing world, we often feel the pressure to conform to a certain mold in order to make our books appealing and saleable. And yet we can’t lose sight of the little things, nuances, quirks, and aspects that make up who we are. All of those things come together to form our unique, beautiful identity that helps us to stand apart from everyone else.

This holiday season I urge us all to embrace the unique beauty inside ourselves and our families. Let your life (and Christmas tree!) reflect the uniqueness of YOU. And let your writing reflect all of the unique beauty of your experiences, personality, and depth of who you are.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

P.S. I will be taking a break from blogging next week. See you on Tuesday Jan. 3.

How To Drive Yourself Crazy as a Writer

Here are four simple ways to drive yourself crazy (or to drive other writers & readers crazy!):

1. Think the very first book you’ve ever written is ready for publication.

This is a very hard truth for beginning writers to swallow. No one wants to believe they’ve gone to all the hard work of writing a book for nothing. But if you ask most published authors how many books it took them before they were ready for publication, likely you’d get a range from 4 to 6. Sure there are exceptions. But the large majority of authors have to write multiple books before really honing their skills.

It took me five books (not to mention a couple of books that I started but never finished). Those five books are stuck in a closet and will never see the light of day.

Fortunately, all the work isn’t for nothing. In fact, those first couple of unpublishable books are incredibly important. Without mine, I wouldn’t be where I’m at today. The practice books—combined with studying fiction techniques—are the building blocks for a successful career.

We’ll only drive ourselves crazy with potential rejections, poor sales, and crushing feedback if we attempt to put our books out there too soon.

2. Think you don’t need time to grow.

I save my kids’ writing assignments. They date the papers and put them in their writing folders. Every year when they add new paragraphs, essays, and stories, they invariably go back and read what they’ve written in previous years. Now in seventh grade, my daughters giggle over what they wrote in second grade.

But, boy, in second grade they thought those stories were wonderful. And they were—for a second grader. However, the time, distance, and growth has helped them to look back and see how much deeper, richer, and more complex they’ve become. They can objectively see just how shallow and simplistic their earlier writing was.

Even though there’s no set number of years someone needs to write before being ready for publication, there’s something to be said for giving ourselves plenty of growing room. If we’re studying hard, over time we’ll begin to see improvements in our writing skill. And someday we’ll even look back at our earliest attempts and giggle (at least I do!).

3. Think you can catch all your own mistakes.

No one can edit his or her own manuscript perfectly. That’s a little bit like trying to give yourself counseling. Usually we can’t see our own issues and faults (or we’re prideful or in denial!). We need friends, family, and therapists to help us see the issues.

And the same is true in our writing. No matter how many times we read our manuscript, we can’t view it as objectively as someone who is reading with a fresh perspective.

Even with twenty plus years of writing experience, I still can’t catch all my own mistakes. I absolutely need a critique partner and editors who can give me their honest, careful, and detailed critiques (of both big and small problems).

4. Think you can make a go of the writing journey alone.

In this modern age, it’s pretty tough to go solo. Although writing a first draft of a book is a solitary endeavor, the road beyond that is not.

The longer I’m in the industry, the more I’ve come to realize just what a team effort the process of publication is—everything from the editing to the marketing. Yes, it takes a team effort to take a book in its somewhat rough state and to polish it up so that it can really resonate and shine.

But then once we have it sparkling, it also takes a team to help us market our books. With over one million other books vying for the reader’s attention, we have so much more of a chance of getting our books to stand out when our friends and online connections help us spread the word.

Plus, as I mentioned in my post about the insecurities that come after publication, we need writing friends to help us through the difficult times. Yes, our non-writing friends and family can support us too. But other writers can get it in a way that others often can’t.

We can drive ourselves crazy, sometimes even to the point of wanting to quit when we fall prey to any of the above. How about you? Do you agree or disagree with my points? Are there exceptions to the above that you’ve seen?

Write Tight: 3 Pieces of Advice I Wish I’d Known Earlier

Last month I was on a panel at a writer’s conference, and one of the questions was “What piece of writing advice do you wish you’d known earlier?”

My answer had mostly to do with the need to write tight. Early in my writing career, I had trouble writing succinctly—particularly in knowing what to include and what to leave out. And lately as I’ve been reading entries for a contest I’m helping to judge, I’ve noticed that many young writers have a similar struggle and often add more than is necessary.

So, here are three pieces of advice I wish I’d known earlier about writing tight:

1. Make Every Scene Count:

Before I write a scene, I envision a stage and my characters upon it. Who would want to go to a play and watch the actors meander around the stage talking to themselves or reflecting on problems while eating, getting ready, shopping, driving in the car, talking on the phone, etc.? Or thinking about their past (aka backstory)? Big yawn.

Rather than the mundane and ordinary, our audience wants to be entertained by the unfolding story. Put the characters on stage and have them jump right into the action. Start the conflict. Get the story moving. EACH scene needs to be critically important to the plot and story development or it needs to see the lovely black end of the delete button.

If we eliminate static scenes, then readers will come to expect that every scene in our book adds suspense or value to the plot, even when we slow the pace. The more succinct and necessary we make each scene, the fewer parts readers will be able to skim or skip.

2. Make Every Character Count:

Before I add a new character (particularly a minor one), once again I envision a stage. I check to see if any of the other characters who are already on stage can do the job first.

First, I don’t want my stage becoming cluttered with too many characters. Our audience will have a hard time keeping them all straight even if we do our best to give them unique tags and names. So when I need a minor character, I try to use one I’ve already brought onto the stage earlier (rather than add a completely new character).

Second, I try not to name all of my minor characters unless I need to do so for clarity’s sake. Even those I strategically place on the stage don’t get names. And if they get a “speaking part,” it’s often in a generic sense like: One of the other farmers said, “Go on you big chicken. Ask her to dance.”

The point is if we write tight with our characters, we increase the potential for them becoming more memorable versus getting lost on the crowded stage.

3. Cut the Flowery Descriptions:

When I write descriptions, I look at the stage and decide what props I need and why. I don’t wax eloquent about the weather or the clothing or the people passing by—just because I want to. I make myself have a reason for adding in those details.

Of course, as a historical writer, one of my important jobs is to bring to life a bygone era. Since readers haven’t been to the 1830’s Oregon Trail (the setting for The Doctor’s Lady), I have to find ways to create the aura of that setting. Even though I add in historical details to bring the era to life, I still try to do so with extreme care.

Sometimes I add setting details to create a certain mood. Other times, I describe things that play a role in the plot. The point is that I try to use description as strategically as possible. And, I try to weave it in seamlessly so that readers see the description through the eyes of the point of view character as the action unfolds.

Anytime we use flowery prose for the sake of sounding beautiful, that usually means we need to make another date with our delete key.

Have you ever had trouble deciding what to include and what to leave out of your story? In what area do you have the most trouble with writing tight?

The Inevitable Identity Crisis That Happens After Publication

I wasn’t going to write this post. But after talking with numerous published authors over the past year and reading Elana Johnson’s post last week about her struggle after publication, I decided I needed to open up the topic.

Most authors don’t talk publicly about the after-publication crisis that happens. We put on our happy public persona and just keep going. But in reality, most of us experience an identity crisis at some point after publication where we question everything and wonder what in the world we’re doing. I know have. On more than one occasion.

Writerly crises are triggered by any number of things: a bad review, a low royalty check (or NO royalty check), an unexpected or difficult rewrite, low sales figures, not getting reader emails, dismal Amazon rankings, long dry spells without hearing from your agent or editor, bewildering advice, etc., etc., etc.

The trigger unleashes a gush of emotions and questions. We start asking ourselves things like: Why do I strive so hard? Why am I am putting in two hundred percent when there’s often so little to show for it? Is it really worth the pain, the sweat, the tears, and the uncertainty?

The questions beat against us.

But we can’t complain. At least not publicly.

First, if we publicly complain about any aspect of our publication process, we might inadvertently place publishers or other industry professionals in a negative light—and we don’t want to jeopardize our working relationships with anyone.

And second, if authors publicly complain, we sound ungrateful for being published. We know there are many other writers who would gladly trade places with us—problems and all. We think, “What right do I have to complain? I’m published. My dream came true. I shouldn’t be ungrateful.”

Thus, we keep shoving our complaints deep inside.

Until we reach the breaking point—when the pressure of everything builds up and explodes.

Before publication, most of us have dreams of what we think being a published author will be like. And the more we rub shoulders with other writers and fan the flame for publication, the larger our dreams become, until we’ve made being a published author into this HUGE, BIG deal—perhaps bigger than it really is.

Isn’t it that way with most things out of our reach? We long for something. But the more it’s denied us, the more intensely we want it. And we start to think it will be SO fabulous when we finally get it.

Our expectations grow with our longing, until eventually, our expectations are slightly (or maybe greatly) out of proportion with reality.

Now I’m not saying that being a published author isn’t wonderful. It is. I’m thrilled and grateful to have two books on the shelf and a couple more heading down the publication pipeline. I adore hearing from readers. And I love being a part of the publishing industry.

But I’ve also realized that the grass isn’t necessarily greener on the published author side. There’s still an incredible amount of hard work, rejection, uncertainty, and waiting. There’s very little glitz and glamor. The hoopla never lasts very long. And I’m still just an ordinary person.

So, what have I learned through all my writing crises?

• An identity crisis or reality check is fairly normal for most writers, especially after the first book or two. We can’t help but question who we are and what we’re doing.

• We need a couple of closer writer friends with whom we can be completely honest, who will listen and not condemn us when we face uncertainties.

• We need to keep our expectations grounded. It’s hard to put aside those huge dreams we have of published author life. But the more realistically we go into publication, the better.

• Use those crises for evaluation. I let my difficult times push me to evaluate what’s working, what isn’t, and what I might need to do differently.

• When things get rough, we can’t have the “if only . . .” mindset. “If only I’d self-published, I’d be making more money.” Or “If only I’d traditionally published, things would be so much easier.” We may think having a different publisher, editor, agent, etc. will cure our insecurities. As I said above, the grass won’t necessarily be greener on the other side. I rub shoulders with enough authors in various publishing scenarios to know everyone has their share of problems.

• Realize that if you’re expecting instant fame and fortune, a writing career may not be for you. Instead, be prepared for a slow, steady upward climb.

So there you have it. If you’re a published author, have you experienced an identity crisis at some point? And if you’re not published yet, are you keeping your expectations realistic enough about life after publication?

How Much Time Should Writers Devote to Social Media?

Let’s face it. Building our social media followings takes a lot of time and hard work. (See this post: How To Build a Blog Following From the Ground Up)

For those who thrive on social networking, it’s all too easy to let facebook, twitter, and blogging, eat away at our limited time.

And for those who cringe at the idea of having to carve out more time for social media, it’s just as easy to sit in the corner and whine about all of the problems related to building an online presence.

Either way, social media is here to stay. We can’t let it control us nor can we scoff at it. We need to learn to use it wisely.

And part of learning to use it wisely is figuring out how much time to give it. How much time should a writer spend on social media sites if they hope to establish a decent following and build a platform?

There’s no easy answer to that question. But I’m going to attempt to lay out my thoughts on it.

1. Beginning to middle level writers:

Beginning writers should spend LESS time on social media (and less time worrying about their platforms) and should spend MOST of their concentrated work time learning how to write—studying and practicing (See this post: 6 Tips For Making the Learning of Fiction Techniques Less Painful)

The prevalence of social media and all of the talk about building platforms has put undue pressure on newer writers (those working on their first book or two). Many beginners are jumping in too strong and pushing to develop followings too hard and thus taking valuable time away from really learning how to write saleable fiction.

I’m not saying beginning writers shouldn’t have blogs or chat on twitter. Because I don’t think it’s ever too early to get connected, meet other writers, and develop friendships. But I do think new writers should take the pressure off themselves, sit back, and focus on first things first—learning how to write good books.

2. Writers nearing publication: 

Writers who’ve received critical and objective feedback that they’re moving toward publishable quality writing are ready to vamp up their social media time quota. This happened for me about the time I was ready to query. I found those months while I was querying, getting rejections, and waiting on agent responses, to be a good time to take social media to the next level.

I used those many months to visit blogs, meet new people, and get comfortable with social media. I scheduled in time almost every day for visiting and commenting on other blogs. I made a point of seeking out new people, not just on blogging but on twitter and facebook too.

However, I did NOT give social media more time than I gave my writing. I always, always kept writing in the midst of social networking. Through those early social media days, I learned to give my writing my best and most concentrated time, which has helped me do the same now after publication when blog tours, interviews, marketing, rewrites, etc. crowd in on writing time. I’ve trained myself to keep writing a priority even though other things demand my attention.

3. Published and beyond:

Around the time of publication, writers will find themselves becoming busier with other demands. We will likely have less time to spend visiting blogs and commenting and keeping up with everyone on facebook. Which is why if we wait to add social media until after getting a contract, we may not have the time and effort it takes to grow our followings.

I’ve had several friends email me and ask me how I was able to transition smoothly from less commenting and visiting without jeopardizing my following. If we’re well established as being reliable, offering consistent posts that resonate with readers, and we continue to be available to interact with friends in other ways (for me that is mainly through twitter), then we’ll likely be able to gradually diminish some of our earlier concerted efforts without ill-effects.

The bottom line is that eventually as we add in more, we can’t keep up with everything. We have to find ways to adjust or we’ll drive ourselves to exhaustion.

4. Non-fiction & self-published:

For those who are writing non-fiction or considering self-publication, devoting time to social media and developing a platform becomes even more critical. You will likely need to start earlier. And will probably need to continue to block in more time expanding your social media reach.

My summary: There’s no set amount of time any one writer “should” give to social media. As I’ve outlined, some of it will depend upon where we’re at in our writing journey. One thing is certain though, we can’t ever lose focus on what matters the most—writing a compelling, well-crafted book that readers can fall in love with.

How about you? Do you agree or disagree with my breakdown of how much time to spend on social media? And do you struggle to keep the time you spend on social media in balance?

What to Do With Contradictory Feedback (And 2 Star Reviews)

At some point every author will get contradictory feedback—from contest judges, critique partners, editors, readers, etc. It’s inevitable. Someone will say something completely opposite of someone else. And we can only scratch our heads and say, “Huh?”

I’m always fascinated to compare those contradictions. I browsed through the 90 Amazon reviews on The Doctor’s Lady (released Sept. 1) and picked out just a few of the more obvious contradictions: (emphasis is mine)

About the romance:

“The scenes where the husband and wife are falling in love with each other are a little intense. Nothing vulgar or across any lines, but enough to make me blush at times.”

“I soured on inspirational romance in part because I didn't feel it dealt realistically with the physical attraction between men and women. The tension and desire between Priscilla and Eli in The Doctor's Lady, however, is tangible. Jody handles it so tastefully that even people accustomed to the hand-holding-only atmosphere of other inspirational romances won't be offended by it.”

About the hero:

“At first, I didn't particularly care for Eli. I thought him crass and kind of a jerk.”

“It didn't take me long to fall in love with Eli's strong, but gentle ways. Wow, he sure sounded like a hunk.”

About the story development:

“I was bit disappointed. Not completely, because I was very impressed with Jody's writing, and I will definitely pick up more from her. The Doctor's Lady isn't about the Whitman's mission with the Nez Perce. It's completely about their journey to the Nez Perce . . . I was just hoping there was more of the plot actually involving Native Americans.”

“I love every part of this book: the adventurous journey, the interaction with the natives, the beautiful description of nature, the struggle and courage of the characters, everything!”

About the ending:

“Although the end is predictable, the journey there is heart-wrenching and engaging - never flat.”

“By the end of this book you feel things coming together and I felt like I could just explode in emotions and tears of joy and I was sad that it had to come to an end. This is one of those books that although you are satisfied with the ending, you are disappointed that you are done reading about the characters that moved your life!”

Comparing my first two books:

“After disliking Jody's first book, The Preacher's Bride, I was pleasantly surprised by Jody's second book, The Doctor's Lady, and I enjoyed reading it very much.”

“This is a good traditional romance, and while it lacks the power of Hedlund's first novel The Preacher's Bride, it will keep readers hooked to finally see Eli and Priscilla admit their love for each other.”

*******************************************************************

So what do I take away from contradictions? (And there are plenty more in the Amazon reviews!) Here are several things I tell myself:

1. There will always be contradictory reviews. Always. Expect them. Accept them. And don’t worry about them.

2. Everyone will view a book through his or her own worldview glasses. Our religious beliefs, values, expectations, personalities, likes/dislikes—all of that will come into play for how we experience a story.

Thus what is acceptable and enjoyable for one person, may be completely opposite for another. That’s just the way it is. And there’s nothing we can do to change that. What that means is that as writers, we need to stay true to ourselves and know what’s important to us, even if that’s not going to please every single reader.

3. Give the most credence to industry experts when weighing contradictions. I look to my agent and my editors for advice. They have their fingers on the pulse of what my genre readers like through feedback and sales statistics. Over time, they’ve developed an expertise and an innate feel for what will resonate with readers and what won’t.

My point is that when we face contradictions, we may need to involve those more experienced than our readers to help give us the bigger picture of what works and what doesn’t.

4. Writers have to develop a thick skin. When I read reviews, I try to stay in the middle of the road. I don’t let the really high praise flatter me, and I don’t let two star reviews crush me. Because yes, the two stars DO eventually come.

One of my two star reviews on The Preacher’s Bride says “Not my cup of tea.” And I just had to laugh and realize the truth in the statement—my book just won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. And that’s okay.

In other words, let the negatives add new callouses, so that eventually we can take the pricks to our ego without letting them deflate us altogether.

How about you? Have you gotten contradictory feedback on your writing? How do you handle it?

6 Tips To Make the Learning of Fiction Techniques Less Painful

If you’ve been reading my blog long enough then you’ll know I feel very strongly that writers need to grow in their writing ability by reading fiction how-to books. I blogged about it in this post: My Writing Success: The One Thing That Has Helped Me The Most.

Back in the days when I was first writing seriously (about twenty years ago), I devoured every how-to book I could get my hands on. I filled notecards with all of the things I was learning. And as I wrote, I’d flip through my notecards to help me remember everything.

Incidentally, I still have that stack of notecards and occasionally still read them. And I still regularly read writing craft books (usually when I’m between projects so that I can refresh myself and find new inspiration) (for a few of my favorites scroll down through my sidebar).

Now I realize not everyone agrees that writing craft books are helpful. Some people become overwhelmed by all of the information. Others feel stifled. Some even get discouraged to the point of quitting because they can’t seem to do things “by the book.”

Then there are those writers who don’t want anyone else telling them what to do. They feel that writing is an individualistic, subjective expression of our creativity (just like all of the other art forms).

Some may even say you can learn all you need by reading well-written novels and that the rhythm of story and structure is picked up through saturating ourselves with a variety of genres and stories (including the classics). Such writers might say things like, “Story trumps technique.”

The fact is, writers can come up with any number of excuses for why they don’t want to learn the basics of fiction-writing. And sometimes those excuses may even be valid, because after all, most excuses usually have a hint of truth to them, don’t they?

The truth is yes, sometimes we can try too hard to follow the rules and in the process get discouraged or end up with sterile writing. Sometimes we’re at risk of losing our individuality and creativity when we try to make ourselves fit into a prescribed structure. And yes, those of us who are avid readers may have a leg-up on how to tell a good story. Indeed, the story itself is critically important.

But the other truth is this—very few people are born as writing geniuses. I certainly wasn’t. Most of us have to learn how to write fiction similar to any other subject like typing, reading or algebra. And while there are many ways to learn how to write, one of the best ways to learn anything is to STUDY and then PRACTICE.

Here are few suggestions that might make the process of learning about writing fiction less painful:

1. Wait to read a how-to book until after you’ve completed your first manuscript. Often we don’t know what we need to work on until after we’ve had some firsthand experience. Besides, there’s something about giving yourself freedom with the first book to explore, be creative, and to nurture your imagination.

2. Check out several fiction how-to books from the library. When I’m able to browse through a book first, I’m able to see whether it’s going to contain information that will help me. Different books will speak to us more or less depending upon where we’re at in our writing journey. If we’re not selective, we might give up on how-to books too easily instead of continuing to search until we find one that meets our needs.

3. As you’re reading, take notes on specific things you’d like to work on in the next novel. I usually read a how-to book when I’m in the pre-writing plotting phase, which helps inspire ideas and reminds me of what I need to incorporate.

4. Don’t try to work on everything all at once. That’s a bit like having too many cooks in the kitchen—a recipe for disaster (or at the very least discouragement). Trying to do everything perfectly or too much to soon can zap the joy out of writing and lead to writer’s block.

5. Look at writing techniques as guidelines not rules. I examine the “why” behind particular guidelines. What is the point of a technique? For example, plenty of books advocate against using adverbs. Why? Because the modern reader doesn’t want to be slowed down by wordiness. They want a succinct, tight read. But does that mean we can’t use any adverbs? No, if I’m doing my job at keeping the story moving, then if I drop in an adverb here and there, it won’t bother the reader or slow my story.

6. Find a balance. Don’t focus too much on technique at the expense of your story or it will end up lifeless. But also don’t ignore the building blocks of good fiction because you think you have an awesome best-selling story. You might shoot your chance with an agent, publisher, or reader simply because they’re tripping over your presentation.

How about you? Are you taking enough time to work on your fiction techniques? What writing book has helped you the most from a practical standpoint?