Guilt and misunderstanding are the twin companions that stalk the writer’s life. We commiserated together this week about both, but I couldn’t let this week end on a down note.
It’s all too easy to focus on the problems —there are so many writers face. The modern publishing climate is stormy and tough.
Of course we shouldn't minimize the hardships. We’re on a difficult journey together. We can warn each other about the potholes, the bumps in the road, and the danger ahead. We can lean upon one another for support up the steep climb, helping carry each others’ burdens.
But we can’t stop there. . .
Sometimes we have to take a deep breath, slow down our pace, and take a look at the passing scenery. Maybe we even need to sit on a big rock, dangle our feet, and stare up into the sky.
In other words, we need to remember to enjoy the journey. Too often we get so caught up striving hard after our dreams, that we become fixated on the destination—finishing the book, landing an agent, or acquiring a book contract. When we’re intent on the end goal, sometimes we lose out on the beauty of the journey itself.
My four year old daughter is named Joy (that's her picture above). I constantly tell her what a joy she is to our family. And because I remind her so often what a joy and delight she is to me, she believes it. Even when she’s having a typical pre-schooler melt-down moment, she can rest secure in the knowledge that she is a joy to my life.
Often, we need to choose to have joy. It isn’t some magical, ooey-gooey feeling that comes over us when we least expect it. Rather it’s a conscious decision to live in the moment, to tell ourselves what a joy and delight the little things in life and writing truly are.
When we give ourselves a message over and over, it doesn’t take long before we begin to believe it and feel it. Isn’t that true of most things? When we give ourselves positive messages about our beauty, our worth, or even about loving someone we don’t like, pretty soon it’s not just a message, but a reality.
On the converse, when we focus too hard and too long on the negatives, we find ourselves believing them: the journey is too hard, we’re not good enough, we don’t have what it takes. When we tell ourselves these things (even unconsciously), it doesn’t take too long before they become a reality.
So, how do we minimize the negative and refocus on the joy of life and writing?
I certainly don’t claim to have all the answers. I combat negativity like everyone else. But through all of the rejections, harsh critiques, and hard climbs, I try to remember to find joy in the creative process itself.
I relish words, taste phrases, and bask in the pure delight of developing a story. I reread pages I’ve already written and I smile with pleasure. I remind myself that one of the reasons I write books is because only I can develop the exact kind of story that I love to read. Creating stories is so rewarding on a personal level, I would do it without the end goal of seeing my book in print.
Sure, I’m on the path to publication, but I don’t want to get so immersed in striving toward my goals that I forget to find the simple joys of the writing journey itself.
How about you? Have you lost the joy in the journey because you’re so focused on reaching the destination? Or are you still in love with the process of creating? And if so, how do you find the smiple joys?
Jody, I love your perspective on writing (and life in general!). I'm a great believer that joy and happiness are a choice that we make on a daily basis. We train ourselves to react, just like you said, and then that becomes second nature to us. Finding joy in the journey is so important in everything we do, but especially writing. It is hard. There are mountains to climb. If we're not enjoying the trek then we might be disappointed with the view from the top! I love words and I love creating. There's something that happens in my brain when the words are pouring out of me that I don't experience anywhere else. It's a sense of knowing that this - this creative, frustrating, wonderful, painstaking thing called writing - is what I was made to do. Even though I don't get to write as much or as often as I would like, it still fills me with joy. :)
ReplyDeleteI definitely still find the joys. I've enjoyed every moment of my journey so far - even during the tough times - I still ultimately enjoyed it. And I take time to dangle my feet from a rock and look into the sky very often actually. It's a perfect place to feel free.
ReplyDeleteShe is a doll!
ReplyDeleteAnd I completely agree - joy is something we have to choose. I try to remind myself that when I'm suffering from a poor, ho-hum attitude.
Great reminder, Jody!
Sometimes when the joy gets lost in the pressures of day to day, it's good to step away. When the need to create becomes too much, there is joy getting back to the drawing board.
ReplyDeleteJust the boost I needed right now! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteYour daughter is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI'm still in love and lately absence has made my heart grow fonder for it.
~ Wendy
Your daughter is beautiful, Jody!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree! We have to CHOOSE to be joyful. The negative is tough, and it gets so many people down. I think we all, at some point, have thought... Maybe I should just quit? Is it all worth it? But... joy comes in the morning... with perseverance and determination!
Simple joys... I relive the good things that have happened. I open that e-mail that said, "do you still need an agent? Please send me your full manuscript..." Reminds me that SOMEBODY liked something I wrote. I give my children big hugs and tell them how much I love them. I take time away from writing to chill... we ALL need that!
No, I think I'm still very much on the Joy track when I write. I do it because I love it. Like you, I go back and read scenes that make me smile (and sometimes cry) and that in itself is worth all the hard work. (Which doesn't feel like work most of the time.)
ReplyDeleteI realize I may have to write 5, 7, 10 books before one gets published and I'm okay with that.
Your daughter is BEAUTIFUL! (And, my middle name translates to "Joy" so I'm particularly fond of the name.)
ReplyDeleteI was definitely losing the joy in writing for a while... so I started writing something different! The new novel was dragging me down, but the short stories are lifting me up. I try to work on something that makes me happy, or else what's the point? (Especially since I have no contracts or deadlines!)
Interesting you should bring up this subject today ... I posted on my blog about Rahab and the faith it took to hang a single scarlet cord from her window and trust, that in the face of war, that cord (signifying her faith) would convince God to pass by her and spare her life.
ReplyDeleteI saw in her the completeness of a faith utterly submitted to a God who sees all, knows all, plans all. I guess it's my simple joy today ... sitting back, hanging out my scarlet cord, and letting God do His "thang". :)
Your advice is excellent, and something I'd do well to remember. I find myself always looking two steps ahead, trying to see how I can leverage this or that to move myself closer to my goal. I find that also keeps me from falling too easily into disappointment over any one thing because by the time I've heard news on that particular thing, I've already shifted my focus to some new endeavor. And I'm happy with that. But it hit me a few weeks ago that maybe what I'm missing out on is the momentary happiness of the things that are happening for me. This year I was the grand prize winner in the Family Circle fiction contest and everyone around me was so excited and yet I found myself more concerned with the potential for using that as a platform to further my writing than with just enjoying the experience. So I think I'll be taking your advice and enjoying the happinesses as they come. Thanks for an inspiring blog post.
ReplyDeleteWhat a cutie! This post was wonderful for me today. I'm definitely trying to enjoy the process and not be so hard on myself. The process is what keeps me striving for the next level, but I'm still able to find joy knowing that the next level will come when it comes.
ReplyDeleteHi Jody -
ReplyDeleteYour little girl is adorable!
Thanks for reminding me to enjoy writing. I need those encouraging words because they help me re-focus on what God's put in my heart.
Blessings,
Susan :)
You and your daughter are both so pretty! Thanks for this reminder to remember the joy of writing. I think if we truly love it and do it for love of it, this will come across in our writing and make it even better because readers are able to sense that and be touched by it. Telling stories is my simple joy :)
ReplyDeleteI'm falling in love with the process again. Rereading craft books has been a help to me lately--doing the things I did when I first began. You're right, it is a choice.
ReplyDeleteI find joy in writing, but also frustration, doubt, and heartache. I try to focus on the joy, even if it hasn't gotten me and agent or a contract yet. You have a great perspective on writing.
ReplyDeleteI think I used to do this (be so focused on this one thing that other things got pushed aside). But I don't do that much anymore.
ReplyDeleteSure, I blog. I do a lot on the computer. But I remember that I have a life beyond this screen. And that's how I keep my balance. I live on both sides of the screen.
Great reminder! You're absolutely right that it all starts in our minds. What are we thinking on? Learning to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ and thinking on the things He points us to in Philipians 4:8 makes ALL the difference! I also love to meditate on the Bible verses that assure me I'm a 'delight' to my Savior!!
ReplyDeleteI must be honest, I have to work on balancing joy in the journey and reaching the destination. It's not always easy -- but it's well worth it!! Have a blessed weekend!
Funny; just last night I wrote on Twitter, "I write because it brings me joy, and even if I'm never published, I'll still write." I posted that to remind myself why I'm writing in the first place- because it makes me happy. I'm new to the whole publishing game. I'm already discouraged, and I haven't sent out my first query letter yet! I need to remember that writing, in and of itself, makes me happy.
ReplyDeleteSounds like a book title--"The Joy of Writing."
ReplyDeleteI'm still giddy at the thought that God might use my words. The same words that sometimes make me giddy.
I always point to the analogy that happiness is a thermometer that fluctuates with with weather, but joy is our internal thermostat.
Setting my thermostat at joy!
And YOUR Joy is beautiful!
Jody, brilliant post as usual.
ReplyDeleteLOVE your Joy. In fact, love that name SO much that my WIP has a "Joy."
Hmmm. I regain my joy of writing by taking breaks when things crush that God-given passion.
Watch a great film. Read a great book. Walk. Listen to the birds twitter. Listen to great praise music.
Am doing that now....
What a wonderful blog.
Patti
I was in that place recently, and it took me a while to realize that what I was missing was the joy. I've actually been much more productive since I found it again. Great post!
ReplyDeleteYour daughter is delightful, Jody. If we had more parents like you in this world, we'd have less problems to solve.
ReplyDeleteWhen I feel myself burning out or having one of those preschool meltdowns--fiftyish women have them, too--I read, go out to eat, listen to praise music or blog. Those bring back the happies.
I am in a positive place with my writing at the moment. I have found the joy of creating something that resembles a storyline.
ReplyDeleteYour daughter is a cutie.
Whenever I get to wondering if God will ever use my words I remind myself that he already does. I am blessed in the process of writing them. Even when finding the right words is sometimes a struggle, the freedom to pursue them is exhilarating. In the wider scheme of things it won't matter if anyone else ever sees them.
ReplyDeleteSimple joys? If I need a boost I sometimes take time during a shopping trip to search out a new journal, pen or bookmark. A writer can never have too many tools! :)
This is SO true! I was just thinking yesterday I really need to revel in my WIP because soon I will be done and leaving that wonderful world. I'm not sure why, but editing doesn't give me that same feeling as actually writing the first draft. I really enjoy the process of creating and hanging out in my characters world, chaotic as it may be ;) Have a great weekend Jody! Are you enjoying spring break next week like I am? I hope so!
ReplyDeleteWonderful post. What we focus on is what we get. I'm a realist at heart, so I'm never going to whitewash problems. But it's amazing how the problems pale next to the glow of the good things in the writing life. I wake up every morning and thank God for the blessing of being able to write.
ReplyDeleteYour daughter is adorable - truly. Thanks for ending the week with encouragement and positive reminders. I work hard to hold onto the joy, even when my knuckles are white with the effort. It's really why we write, after all. :-)
ReplyDeleteFunny that we need reminders to love what we love, but we do and you have written a beautiful one.
ReplyDeleteI try and choose everyday to remember this truth. The choice to rest in God's goodness spills away all my fears and apprehensions.
ReplyDeleteI think the biggest think for me is remembering why I'm doing what I do. Why do I write? Why am I a mom? It's really easy to get caught up in the hard and repetitive things of life, but ultimately, I do them because I love it and it really does make me happy. (As long as I don't let one thing push out all the other things.)
ReplyDeleteThanks for reminding me to have joy in this crazy yet rewarding journey of writing -- I just said goodbye to my last manuscript that's headed for print. You would think it would bring joy, but instead it brought fear. What if no one likes it? I can't change it now! But, in reading your post today I was reminded of the greater joy of this journey. One I wouldn't trade for anything.
ReplyDeleteJody,
ReplyDeleteAll week long, I keep coming across the word joy and articles about living each day joyful...I definately believe that it is the journey not the distantion that brings meaning in life. Thanks for your great topics this week. I enjoyed reading about the frustrations about getting nonwriters to "get it"...I am finding that to be true about most anythings, it is hard to understand, unless you experience. Hope your weekend is a great one!
Sometimes it's hard to remember to look for the joy in life. I love that you named your daughter Joy, so pretty.
ReplyDeleteI was talking about this w/ one of my writer friends this week - we're always hardest on ourselves. One of the things our crit group does well is "cheer" for each other. People that share your joy in writing can sometimes see past the negative and remind you of your talent, the thing you contribute best to your group, and why they like you. It's a wonderful energy boost.
Thanks Jody for adding joy to my day! It wasn't great, and now I'm reminded that life isn't all that bad. ;)
Your Joy is such a cute imp! What a sweetheart!
ReplyDeleteI have ups and downs too, but for the most part, I'm happy. I love the choice I made and love the people who've helped me along the way.
Have a wonderful weekend!
Wow! This is exactly what I needed to read at this moment. My post today was all about how I'm feeling as though I'm not good enough to do this! Oh, and the joy! After reading your post, I revisited James 1:2-4- thanks for the reminder.
ReplyDeleteYour daughter is adorable!!
ReplyDeleteI'm all for experiencing joy on the journey. In fact, that's what I called my personal blog until I gave it a Jody Hedlund-inspired face lift yesterday. :D
The writing life can be tough, especially if we're overly focused on the end result. We can miss the many joys along the way. Spending time with my cyber buddies is one of mine. You inspire me, uphold me, and encourage me to keep on keeping on. Bless you all!
Jody, you give me such hope as a fellow mom of 5! ;) I took a week off (Spring Break) to just play with my family. If I don't take time to LIVE, I won't have anything worth writing about. Thanks for your encouragement and visit to my blog. Yes, I love your cover and the behind the scenes peek!
ReplyDeleteI still find JOY in the creating. I love the rush I feel when I hear a phrase or a story that I can use in my script. I get all fired up when I talk about it. I can visualize what will happen. I didn't have it as much with the novel, but I feel the burning JOY with this new script. Perhaps, it's the fresh idea, the new story, that fuels it.
ReplyDeleteNot me, I remind myself every day that I am living my dream and that I am so, so blessed. I think I have tried to enjoy each step of this journey and I know much lies ahead. It's work, but it's joyous and fulfilling.
ReplyDeleteChoosing joy is such an important--and often forgotten-message. Thanks for reminding me (and I see so many others who have commented on the same idea, above.) A powerful idea. Right now, I am experiencing more joy in my writing than I have in a long time. Could be because I am reaching a BIG milestone that seemed so distant a few months ago. I hope to hang on to this feeling--oops, I mean, to continue to choose it!--in the months ahead. Thanks for the reminder. Patrice
ReplyDeleteYour daughter is so cute!! I haven't lost my joy yet even with rejections. I sometimes anguish over wanting to be better and wonder how I ever thought something was good, lol, but pushing on.
ReplyDeleteExcellent post. I really like this line - "one of the reasons I write books is because only I can develop the exact kind of story that I love to read." I think that's the aspect that really keeps me going throughout this process.
ReplyDeleteI haven't queried yet. I think I can see myself losing sight of the joy at that time. I'll do my best to remember your insights when I'm agonizing over rejections!
I've left you an award on my blog. :)
ReplyDeleteThis is a great post. It's so good to remind ourselves why we started writing in the first place. To keep my writing fresh I need to sometimes write something completely different. So, while my blog is about God with the aim to encourage people in their faith, I also spend time writing speculative fiction - for me.
ReplyDelete. It's a perfect place to feel free.
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