Dealing With Writer's Guilt

Most writers carry around an invisible burden of guilt.

There aren’t a whole lot of us who can quit our day jobs, abandon everything, and write every waking hour. Whether we’re a stay-at-home-mom, college student, or working to earn our bread and butter, we often have to squeeze writing around a whole lot of other life responsibilities.

We write in the dark hours of dawn and in the black hours of night. We grab fifteen minutes here, thirty minutes there. Often it never seems like enough. We tear ourselves away from it, but carry the longing in our hearts as we go about our other tasks.

We feel guilty when we’re doing those real-life jobs because there’s a part of us that would much rather be writing. But then when we’re writing, we struggle with self-reproach because we’re taking time away from other important things in our lives.

I’ve heard writers say something like this, “When I finally get an agent or book contract, I won’t have to feel guilty anymore about spending so much time on my writing.”

What I've found, however, is that it doesn’t get any easier. In fact, it may even get harder.

Sure, the agent or book contract somehow seems to “legitimize” our writing in the eyes of all those who once questioned us. They may even begin to offer their begrudging support of the “hobby” turned “career.”

But those other life responsibilities won’t go away. We’ll still have our day jobs. AND now on top of all of the other demands, we have MORE writing work—proposals to write, edits to make, deadlines to meet, and so much more.

We find ourselves wrestling to get it all done and having to take more time away from other important things. Guilt creeps in and becomes our constant companion.

I haven’t figured out an easy method for shedding guilt. I can’t stop being a mom, and I’m certainly not earning enough with my writing to support our family. There are days when I’m running on full speed from the moment my feet hit the ground to the second I plop into bed at night. I’m attempting to juggle it all, just like so many of us are doing.

Even though guilt follows me around, here are a few ways I’m trying to keep it at arm’s length:

1. Schedule writing time. If we block out certain hours of our day or week for writing, then we can approach the rest of the day with the assurance that eventually we’ll have our coveted writing time.

It frees us up to work at our other responsibilities without the overwhelming tug of our stories. Of course, if you’re like me, the story always seems to be calling, but at least I know I can return most afternoons for my scheduled time.

2. Schedule family time. (Or time with the significant people in our lives.) We may have good intentions about spending quality time with the ones we love, but the craziness of our lives might slip in and take over. If we plan the time into our daily or weekly schedules, we’re more likely to make it a priority.

Yes, I set aside weekly tea time with my daughters, daily reading time with my little ones, Family Night every weekend, etc. Of course we have lots of spontaneous time together too. But when I’m writing, I can do it knowing I’m still making time for my relationships.

3. Remain confident. There will be a lot of people who won’t understand the writing life, including our family. But I want to rest secure that this is one of my God-given jobs at this point in my life. It’s an important job that I can’t neglect, just like I can’t neglect my other responsibilities.

What about you? Does guilt follow you around? How do you work to keep it at arm’s length?