What A Writer Wants Most

As a parent of five, I can't think of too many events more pleasurable than watching my children's wide-eyes and delighted smiles as they open presents I've given them.

"Do you like it?" I ask, holding my breath. But I need no words of affirmation. I already know. I've bestowed upon them exactly what they dreamed about for weeks, even months. I made a dream come true--and that brings me more satisfaction than anything they could give me in return.

As adults we usually don't have the long wish lists that we did when we were children. I don't haunt the tree, shake my presents, and try to figure out what I'm getting. (I don't need to. I have a four year old, and she's pretty good at telling me what I'm getting, even when I don't ask her!)

When we get older, our wish lists grow shorter, more expensive, and practical. In fact I'd venture to guess, for most of us, our deepest wishes usually aren't material possessions. If you're like me, whenever you need something you head out to the store and buy it.

No, the items we want most are the things hardest to obtain. Peace with our wayward child. Rejuvenation for a struggling marriage. Health for the suffering loved-one. And so much more. . .

Our lists go deep. The desires pulse through our blood. We ache for their fulfillment. We would gladly forgo unwrapping all of the material presents under the tree, if only we could have just one of our deepest wishes come true.

As writers we have a whole other wish list--all of the hopes we have for our writing career. Perhaps we can't wait to snag the attention of an agent or editor. Maybe we long to final in a contest or land a book deal. Ultimately, we dream about the day we hold our published book in our hands.

But what is the one thing a writer desires most? Is it really publication? When I think about next fall, when I finally get to finger the pages of my first published book, my heart certainly soars. I can't deny that publication is a dream come true.

However, is seeing my book in print really my deepest wish? Is it really yours? If it is, then wouldn't we be more willing to consider self-publishing? After all, with self-publishing we're guaranteed seeing the fruit of months and years of hard work. And if publication was really the goal, then why would we care so much about building platforms and increasing sales?

The reality is that most writers want more than publication. Maybe some wish for allusive fame and fortune. But most of us want our words to make an impact, to hit readers in the heart and leave an imprint that changes the way they view life. We want our words to breathe fresh hope into lives that often so desperately need it.

We labor over our stories because deep down we know that the real joy in writing comes not only from the creative process, but also from being able to share the pleasure of our stories with others. And traditional publication still gives us the largest audience for such sharing.

Not every wish can come true--not with our writing or in life. But we can start today by chasing after the things that truly matter most. We can run after them until they're within sight, never giving up until finally they're within our grasp.

What's at the top of your wish lists this Christmas?

Have a Merry Christmas, everyone! I'll be taking some time off from blogging over the holidays and won't post again until Monday, Jan. 4.

What Are You Giving?

"Please, Mommy. One more story." Bright brown eyes pleaded with me as my six year old pushed another Christmas book into my hand.

I bit back the automatic "no" that begged for release. After a typical day of teaching, mothering, and managing the activities of a noisy, busy household, I wanted to curl up on the couch with my newest biography. I hungered for silence and stillness--food for my creative mind.

"Just one more." My four year old added her big blue eyes to the drama.

My mind shouted that I'd given all day. I'd already sacrificed enough. From the piles of laundry I'd folded to the never-ending task of breaking up squabbles and training my children's character. I had even planned a treasure hunt for our special Advent activity and cooked red and green food for every meal--including green scrambled eggs.

My body ached and my eyes smarted from exhaustion. It would be so easy to say no, to tuck my littlest ones into their beds and have an hour of quietness before the older kids arrived home from art class and basketball practice.

I longed to glance away, to ignore the upturned faces waiting for my decision. But my heart compelled me to look at each of them, into their eyes and to see the desire glowing there--the desire to spend just a few more precious minutes with their busy mom.

I took a deep breath and settled myself back against the bed. They smiled and snuggled against me.

"Would you sing it, Mommy?" my six year old asked.

Only then did I realize which book he'd slipped into my hands. I stifled another weary sigh. "Isn't there another book we could read?"

"No. I like this one."

I stared at it for a moment, then opened it. "Okay, sweetie." I whispered a prayer and began singing. "On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. . ."

By the last page, with the twelve drummers drumming and eleven pipers piping, we were laughing at our bumbling efforts. And when I gazed at the delight upon their faces, I knew I'd given my true loves a gift that night. . .

The gift of me and my time.

Amidst the craziness of writing and every day life, especially during the Christmas season, it's easy to forget to give the gifts that really matter the most.

What are you giving the true loves of your life?

When Writing Demands Cut Into Other Priorities

In the last post we established that the number of demands placed upon modern writers has increased, but the amount of time we have to meet the demands has not gone up at the same rate.

If anything, with the busy, activity-filled lives of our modern culture, our time for quiet, centered writing has gone down.

Even if we're setting proper priorities for our writing stage, we still struggle to fit everything in. The problem for most of us is that we can't tackle writing, researching, learning the craft, blogging, networking, etc. in 40 hours a week, especially when we're not making a full time living from it. Other responsibilities fill our days--jobs, children, school, etc. We're forced to squeeze writing work onto the side.

Or. . . we begin to take time away from our other responsibilities. Perhaps we sneak onto blogs or twitter while we're alone in our office at work. Maybe we facebook about our kids instead of getting on the floor and playing with them. Or maybe we neglect exercise and sleep to the detriment of our health so that we can finish our daily word count.

Let's all be honest. We have so many writing demands and so little time, that we often let the writing work cut into other important priorities.

I'm reminded of the life of Clara Wieck Schumann, a 19th century composer and wife of the acclaimed musician Robert Schumann. First, as a woman she already had the challenge of finding success in a world dominated by men. But more than that, she had eight children whom she raised with great care in addition to the many household duties expected of women during the 1800's.

Clara didn't have a microwave, washing machine, the McDonald's drive-thru, dishwasher, store-bought bread, or thousands of other modern conveniences we've come to rely upon. For a time, she single-parented her eight children when her husband was hospitalized.

And yet the list of Clara's accomplishments is astounding. She taught at the Leipzig Conservatory as well as gave private lessons. She performed piano concerts throughout Europe and was continually composing her own works. And of course, as any piano student knows, she had to practice, practice, practice.

Clara Schumann became known as one of the greatest pianists of her time.

How did she do it? How did she manage the heavy demands of a musician's life and all of her other responsibilities? How can we manage the load of a writer's life and still keep up with our other priorities?

I don't think there is an easy answer to that question for her or for us. But I take courage from her story. If she was able to achieve a successful music career amidst the responsibilities of her large family, without modern conveniences, then certainly with all of our technology we can find a way to handle our work loads.

Here are just a few of the ways that I've tried to manage writing priorities and other responsibilities:

Set boundaries. I set aside specific writing time every day. I use the time for actual writing, researching, or editing (and I turn off the social networking). I've established my "work" time with my family and they're learning to accept and respect the new boundaries.

Keep up with the work. In other words, I try not to procrastinate. When I'm away from my computer for any length of time and then return, I quickly run through my emails and delete all of the ones I absolutely don't need to read. Then I spend a few minutes right away answering or reading the ones left. I try to do the same with blogging and other networking.

Know when to stop. This is a hard one for me. I tend to justify doing more and working longer because usually my work time is often a jumble of interruptions (even with boundaries). But I also don't want to look up from my computer some day and realize my children aren't there anymore, that they're grown up and gone. Which brings me to my last point. . .

Savor life. I'm passionate about my stories and characters. I cry when they cry. And I laugh when they laugh. I notice the tiniest details--the shadows under eyes, even the quiver of a lip. If I can immerse myself deeply into my fiction, then surely I can take the time to experience such emotions in real life.

I want to savor this life God's given me--the intermingling of imagination and reality. I long to find just as much passion and beauty in real life as I do in my stories. But that means I have to make a conscious effort to fully live in each moment, no matter what I'm doing.

How about you? Do you know when to stop working? And are you taking the time to savor real life as much as the imaginary one?

How To Set Writing Priorities

Many of us struggle with how much effort we should really put into blogging and other social networking. I believe the answer partly depends on where we're at in the writing journey.

In order to help us, I've broken down the writing journey into four basic levels. Of course these lists are not all inclusive. But they give an overview of the priorities we should have at each stage, specifically with how much effort we should give our blogs, facebook, and twitter.

Priorities for Beginning Writers: Someone who is still at the early stages of learning writing skills; possibly having completed a novel or two, but still needing to learn more about what is acceptable writing craft in today's modern writing industry.

• Spend most of your time learning.
• Read how-to books.
• Soak in writing techniques from well-written books by modern authors.
• Put it all into practice by writing a couple books.
• Use blogging and social networking to meet other writers and grow in the craft.
• Take the pressure off yourself to use social media for anything more than just learning.

Priorities for Query Level Writers: These writers are the ones who've had objective, qualified feedback (not from family), that lets them know their writing skill is reaching publishable quality. They've completed at least a couple of novels and are ready to query agents or editors.

• Continue to read and learn from craft books.
• Start reading agent and editor blogs. Study the guidelines.
• If you haven't started a blog, now is a good time.
• And if you've already been blogging, practice it more consistently and with more focus.
• But don't worry about attracting a flock of followers
• Work on writing the next novel instead.

Priorities for Agented Writers: Once a writer lands an agent, publication begins to loom closer.

• Continue to read and learn from craft books.
• Study how to write a book proposal.
• Start to think about building a platform.
• Blog with more intentionality.
• Sign up for twitter and facebook if you haven't already.
• Begin to set aside some time in your writing schedule for social networking.
• View the networking as part of work time.
• But devote the best and most concentrated time to writing your book.

Priorities for Contracted Writers: After getting a book contract, obviously priorities will shift even more. Here are a few of mine.

• Read the newest craft books on the market and learn more.
• Put what I'm learning into practice in my next book.
• Develop my brand.
• Establish a website.
• Plan time every day to network, answer emails, twitter, facebook, and blog.
• Protect and maximize my writing time. Remember my book is still the most important aspect of my writing career.
• Realize my writing career is shifting from part time to full time.

The dilemma for most of us is this: The demands on the twenty-first century writer are increasing, especially the closer we get to publication, BUT the time we can devote to our writing is not increasing at the same rate.

We're expected to do more, and we have to squeeze that work into limited time. That's probably the reality of many jobs in today's economic climate, but it's especially true for writers since most of us write "on the side" in our "spare" time.

I'm beginning to wonder if it's possible for a writer to have a successful career, if all we ever give ourselves is leftover burned-out time. At some point, if we're really serious about pursuing writing as a career, will we need to carve out more quality time?

It stands to reason, if we hope to give additional time to our writing, then we'll have to cut it out from something else. But how can we do that? More in the next post. . .

Today I'd love to hear how you're doing with your writing priorities. Where are you at in the journey? Are you on track? Or do you need to do more or less? Do you think it's possible for writers to have successful writing careers, if all we ever give ourselves is our leftover time?

My Secret To Keeping Up With All The Demands

The holiday season is full of demands. We have our to-do lists that run longer than a novel--baking an old-fashioned fruit cake, mixing fresh snow into ice cream for the kids, and hand-embroidering a Christmas stocking for the pet hamster.

Okay, so not really. But most of us feel the increased pressure in one form or another. Even without the holiday, we already struggle to keep up with the demands of work, family, and our activities. Add on to that our writing, blogging, and other social networking.

During my posts last week on blogging, many of the comments lamented the scarcity of time and the inability to keep up with everything:

"My time is so very very limited... I can't take the time to comment on all the blogs I want."

"I got to where I had to have a time limit. It (blogging) was interfering with my writing. And I don't want that to happen."

"I'm still trying to figure out how to effectively balance blogging with life's other demands."

I think we all ask ourselves at some point: How can we possibly hope to keep up with blogging, much less adding Twitter and Facebook? How can we do any of those things effectively and still have time for writing? And then how can we have sufficient time for our writing without neglecting other real life responsibilities?

Last week a very sweet friend, Jeanette Levellie, sent me a Facebook message and asked me this question: Please tell me your secret for keeping up with all the blogs you follow, face book, twitter, your book, and your family.

My secret? Hmmm. . .

Here was my initial answer: I really have no secret and constantly struggle with how to keep up with the social networking. I think there comes a point where we just can't keep up with everyone anymore.

After thinking about "my secret" for a few more days, however, I realized there are two things I already do to an extent but need to do more often.

1. Show Grace. First, we need to show grace to ourselves. We have to realize it's physically impossible to keep up with all of the demands of writing and life. We can only do so much, and sometimes we just have to sit back and say, "I did enough. I wasn't perfect. But it was enough for now."

Second, we need to extend grace to one another. We all like to repay visits to those who comment on our blogs. But there are times when we can't. I won't stop liking or following those who don't swing by every time I post. I realize my blog is not the most important thing in your life!

In other words, I understand that you can't always read my posts, even when I read yours. And hopefully you'll understand when I can't make it to yours. Last week, I tried but just couldn't respond to everyone who visited me. Thank you for all of your comments. I LOVED them. But please forgive me for not being able to repay all of your visits.

2. Evaluate Priorities. Sometimes we need to show ourselves grace, and then there are times we need to give ourselves a lecture on the value of hard work, then plop our behind in the chair, and work diligently with our whole heart and soul on the things that need to be a priority.

It's all too easy to get side-tracked by those good, but lesser important priorities. I want to take the next couple posts to discuss how we set priorities--for our writing and our personal lives.

For today, I'd love to hear your thoughts about showing grace. How do you handle the pressure to keep up with all of the demands? Do you need to give yourself or others a break from the pressure to keep up?

5 Ways To Use Facebook & Twitter Effectively

Since we're on the topic of cyber networking this week, I can't neglect a post about Facebook and Twitter.

If you've read some of my previous posts on the two, you might have picked up on a tone of skepticism. That was in my early days, before I really understood their purpose and functionality.

However, after months of facebooking and tweeting, my skepticism is rehabilitated. I've gained a new perspective on both. Here's what I've learned. 5 ways to use Facebook and Twitter effectively:

1. Don't tweet or leave a comment and then disappear. In this sense, they are similar to blogging. We can't expect to get much out of such sites if we toss our comments out there and then run back into our safe hole.

I can't respond to every Twitter or Facebook comment, but I try to take some time to personally interact with those who respond to me. More importantly, I try to show interest in the lives of others. Yes, here it is again--the give and take of successful communication.

2. Make an effort to meet new people. I'm not always sure how people find me, but I'm glad they do. I rarely turn down requests and almost always follow back (unless someone looks like a hacker or spammer).While many friends overlap between the social networking sites, I've also met a whole new spectrum of friends in each realm that I wouldn't have met otherwise.

If we want to network, we can't be shy. We have to jump out there, show interest in others, and make an effort to socialize. If we wait for others to make the first move, we might miss out on new friendships.

3. Use the cyber world as a place to express our uniquenesses. I fully realize not everything I say on Twitter or Facebook is life-shattering or world-altering. Some of it might be downright mundane. But the trick, just as in novel-writing, is to take the ordinary and share it in new and intriguing ways.

Maybe we can't expect every comment to have our special flare, but Twitter and Facebook give us a stage on which to showcase our uniquenesses, to establish ourselves as interesting and worth listening to. Debra Schubert recently landed an agent partly because of her unique voice on Twitter. Read her agent story here.

4. Link to other helpful articles or posts. Twitter is an especially useful resource for finding quick links to blogs. Agents and other writers often tweet links to helpful articles. If the title catches my attention, I pop over to scan the information. (This shows the importance of crafting catchy titles.)

I've also found Twitter an especially useful place to link to my own blog. I don't link every day or make that the main focus of my tweeting, but sharing about a blog post can generate more readers. When others find my blog posts helpful or inspiring, sometimes they retweet it (send it into twitter again), which has the potential to bring even more readers.

5. Use social networking consistently and with balance. Tweeting and facebooking don't have to be a huge effort. In fact, with Twitter and Facebook, sometimes less is more. We don't want to tire our followers with our our constant chattering. When someone tweets or comments too much, my eyes tend to glaze over when I see their name.

On the other hand, tweeting or posting for one day and then disappearing for a week doesn't help maintain the connections either. Everyone needs to find a system that works for them. But I try to make a comment on Facebook approximately once a day and then get onto Twitter for several short bursts on a daily basis. Of course I miss days. Life happens. But for the most part, I try to stay consistent.

That's it--that's what I've learned so far about Facebook and Twitter. What have you learned? Do you find them beneficial or are you still skeptical? Please share!

The Best Way To Get Blog Comments

In our discussion in the last post, we established the importance of giving and receiving comments in the blogging world. Most of us crave validation of some kind.

But how can we practically engage our blog readers so they'll leave comments?

CEO of Thomas Nelson, Michael Hyatt, had a blog post last week entitled 7 Strategies for Increasing Your Blog Comments. If you haven't read it, you really should. His suggestions are innovative and right on target.

Let me just say this first. Getting more blog comments isn't a competition. The idea behind increasing that little number box at the bottom of our posts isn't so that we can become the most popular blogger that ever roamed cyberspace.

Increasing our blog comments relates to my previous post. We all spend time and effort crafting our posts, and we want the blogging experience to be worth that time. If no one is reading what we write, we begin to wonder if blogging is really a good use of our limited resources. Seeing the numbers go up and getting real feedback spurs us to keep at it.

Michael Hyatt listed seven ways to help engage readers more effectively, and there are many others who've shared their tips too (Here's another: How to Build Traffic on Your Blog). However, we can do everything else right--write short, thought-provoking posts, end with a question, make it easy for people to leave their comments--and still end up without comments or very few.

Why? If we're following the "rules," why wouldn't we have more success?

Because. . .most of us are not in a position where we can hit publish then sit back and wait for people to flock to what we wrote. It just doesn't happen that way for the majority of us.

For the average blogger THE best way to get people to comment on your blog is this: Comment on other blogs. Go visit blogs and start leaving comments. Begin to genuinely connect with others in the blogging realm.

Agents, editors, CEO's, or movie stars draw readers and commentors because of their popularity. The rest of us just don't have large enough platforms to attract readers of their own accord.

The ordinary blogger has to seek out others and then look at blogging as a two-way conversation. If we want to have people "speak" to us, then we have to "chat" with them on their blogs.

Sure, we can have dialogue in our comment section and leave responses to the comments people make. I occasionally jump into the discussion on my blog. I try to answer questions. And every once in a while I email a response. But I don't consistently respond to each comment. I don't have the time, and I'm guessing most of my blog readers have even less time to come back and re-read the comment section.

I've become convinced THE best way to increase blog comments is by commenting on other blogs. It's all about the genuine give-and-take of relationships. If you want to be heard, then you have to listen to others. That takes time and effort, but in the end, I've found it's worth it.

What do you think? Do you agree or disagree with my theory? I'd love to hear your opinions!

Do Blog Comments Really Matter?

How would you feel if you spent precious time to plan and write a blog post and no one commented on what you wrote? Would you feel slighted? Embarrassed? Frustrated?

Perhaps you'd feel indifference. Maybe your blog is a place where you say what you want and you don't really care who reads it or what they think.

For the vast majority of us, however, blog comments really do matter. But, why? Why do we set so much stock in getting comments to our posts?

I believe the blogging experience is an extension of who we are at our deepest part. We pour our souls into our posts, baring ourselves, sharing about the things closest to us. . .and we don't want to throw our words out to utter nothingness.

Imagine if you shared with real life friends and they said very little or nothing in response. On a basic level we would wonder if they even heard us. And on a deeper level we would begin to question the effectiveness of our communication and our ability to connect with others.

Whether in real life or in our blogs, we not only long to express ourselves, but to have others validate what we're saying.

The comments people leave in response to our posts are affirmation that we're connecting with others in some way. And isn't that what we really long for--relationships where we can both understand and be understood?

Almost every time I read someone else's blog post, I try to leave a comment. Why?

1. The comment lets the blogger know I visited. If we only read blogs and never comment, the blogger usually won't know we've stopped by. When we leave even a brief comment, then we become real. Our picture and words let others know they're not alone. Our comment acknowledges the time and effort they put into writing their post.

2. A comment shows I've connected in some way to what they've written. Even if I stumble upon a post that's hard for me to relate to (which doesn't happen often), I can still let them know I appreciate what they shared. For some posts I may leave only a short comment and for others I might write the rough draft of a novel. Either way, I validate what they're saying.

3. When I comment I begin to develop relationships. I let them know that this is two-way, give-and-take communication. Hopefully it shows I'm open to new friendships and that I have a big enough heart to love whoever God puts in my path.

In my next post, I'll give my opinion on how to generate more comments. But for today I'd like to hear what you think. Do you like to get comments on your blog? Why is it important to you? And if you don't care about the comments, I'd love to hear your thoughts too!

The Thrills Of The Writing Life

The swoosh of warmth greets me as I step into the bookstore. I breathe in the delicious scent of paper and ink. For a long moment, my feet won't work. I'm frozen in the entrance and my gaze sweeps across the shelves of books.

"I can't believe it," I murmur to my husband. "My book is going to be on one of these shelves next fall."

His eyes light up. "Kids, your mom is going to be a famous author."

"Don't say that." But my smile widens.

The children are already dashing away, my husband's words hardly impressing them. They can't begin to grasp the significance of what it means have a lifelong dream come true, not when their own dreams are still just whispers.

I browse the fiction aisle, finger the glossy spines, reading the names of the authors--many who are no longer strangers. Some of them are now even friends. My heart speeds up with a thrill of excitement. Is it possible my book will brush covers with these in mere months?

I pull out the other Bethany House books and look at them with new eyes. How many times in the past had I stood in that exact spot and never thought to care about the various publishers. All that had ever mattered before was the cover and back blurb.

But now I browse with driving curiosity, fascinated to discover which authors belong to Zondervan and which ones are with Tyndale. Mostly I'm interested in who's in my Bethany House family. I feel connected to them in a strange new way.

I glance sideways at the other shoppers in my aisle. I wonder if they can read my satisfied smile. Does it announce to the world that I'm an author, that soon they'll take my book from the shelf? Even if they don't buy it, they'll touch it, hold it, and see a small piece of me.

Tears prick my eyes. I'm sure the other shoppers see me as nothing more than an overly emotional, somewhat strange mother of five noisy children. But the thrill of imagining my book on the shelf and in their hands is a gift--a reminder that all of those insecurities are worth it.

Yes, writers face insecurities. I shared mine in the last post. Thank you for sharing yours. Your honesty and openness touched me more than you can know. I'll treasure your words of encouragement far into the days to come.

The self-doubts are overwhelming at times. But if we cling to our dreams, if we give ourselves permission to imagine the thrills we'll feel when our dreams come true, then hopefully we'll find the determination to keep going against all odds.

What dreams do you cling to? Or what thrills have you experienced lately in your writing journey that have encouraged you to press on?

Insecurities Of The Writing Life

In the dark of the night, snuggled under a pile of blankets, I shiver. My husband reaches out and combs his fingers through my hair. "What's wrong?" he whispers.

I take a deep breath and try to expel the panic pushing against my chest--but it's stuck. I whisper a prayer and attempt to still the whirls of never-ending thoughts--but they won't rest.

"What if I can't do this?" I finally whisper back.

Without saying what this is, he knows. This is the life of a contracted writer--the new deadlines, the pressure of rewrites, the stresses of the "what if's" . . .

What if I turn in my rewrites and my editors don't like the way I've reshaped the ending? Or what if I didn't change my hero's arc enough or clarify the political situation to their satisfaction? What if I have to do more rewriting?

What if it's not good enough? Will I disappoint the people who read it? Will my friends roll their eyes and silently question how I ever got a contract?

How will I be able to keep up with the marketing and platform building? How should I develop my web site, book trailer, and other things to promote my book?

In the end, what if I let down my agent and the editors who are investing so much into me?

The insecurities won't leave me, especially in the silent hours of the night. The doubts haunt me and shove sleep to the far reaches of my mind.

My husband quietly listens to my out-pouring of fear, tenderly stroking my hair. He offers no platitudes or reassurances. This is new to both of us. But somehow in the telling, in the sharing, I know I'm not alone in the venture.

I'm not alone. . . We all face insecurities in this writing life. Is our writing good enough? Will we ever get an agent? Will our book make it through pub committee? The insecurities never end. I imagine that even when we're published, the doubts will continue to stalk us. Will we earn out our advance? Will readers like our next book? Will we get another contract?

I have no easy answer for how to dispel the insecurities. Perhaps that's the topic of a future blog post after I've traversed the writing path a while longer. For today, all I can do is remind myself I'm not alone. And let those insecurities push me to work harder and strive to do the best I possibly can.

What about you? What insecurities are haunting you lately? And how do you overcome them?