Advantage: Finding Fresh Ideas

This week we're talking about ways writers can find advantages that may help move us out of the slush pile. Hiring a professional editor may be one way. But even more important is finding a fresh idea.

In agent Steve Laube's Seekerville blog interview, he indicated that he takes on very, very few new writers a year. In response, I mentioned how depressing his statistic was and encouraged us to think of ways we might get an advantage to beat the odds.

Steve took the time to make a comment in response to my post (click here to read the post). Here are his exact words. (Forgive me if you've already read the comment.)

"Sorry that the statistic was depressing (rejecting 99.9% of what I see). But I'd rather be honest than lead a new writer down a path only to break their heart.The math speaks for itself.

If I took only 1% of the proposals I see it would mean 20 new clients per year. That would make sense if I was just starting out, but it would also mean that less than half of those would find a publisher in a reasonable time.

I prefer to look at it this way. We should demand excellence from each other because we are in the "business" of changing the world through our writing. The reading public is pretty savvy and usually sniffs out the dreck (not always, but usually). So if a writer is commited to a career they need to be better than the writer next to them.

Therefore most agents are very picky. They should be. In a sense the agents and editors are a line of defense against mediocrity. I never intend to disappoint. But I try to be intentional about excellence. From your list I would pick...the idea. And then executing the idea in an excellent manner."

So, there we have it, straight from an agent. Another way we can get an advantage is by finding an incredible, fresh, never-been-touched story idea. Along with finding the idea, we need to execute it in an excellent manner.

I would have to add that even if our over all story concept is fresh, we have to go even deeper to make sure our characters and scenes are not cliche. Maass, in his Breakout Workbook, suggests cutting scenes that take place in kitchens, living rooms, cars, or where a character is drinking coffee or tea (especially in the first 50 pages). Such scenes are usually cliche and often lack tension. The point is that we want to be fresh and unique with just about every aspect of our stories.

With so many writers striving to find new ideas, how can we ever hope to find one that's never been touched? Is it even possible? Do you have any secrets for where or how you find yours?

Advantage: Professional Editors (Part 2)

Yesterday we had a great discussion about the advantages of using a professional editor.

Today I want to discuss the potential disadvantages of using a paid editor.

1. We may send our work to an editor before we're ready: If we're fairly new in the writing journey, we need to focus on reading craft books and blogs that can help us improve our writing skills. I have several shelves of writing books and a thick stack of note cards filled with all of the writing skills I need hone. I've spent years learning about the craft of writing. I wouldn't have been ready for an editor earlier.

2. We may have the tendency to grow lazy in our own editing: We may think that if we're using an editor, then we're off the hook with our own careful editing. I personally do not send anything to my editor until I've spent time re-reading and revising it first. I want my work to be its absolute best before I send it out to critical eyes. After all, the more time an editor has to spend correcting my little mistakes, the more money it will cost me. Besides I want her to focus on the bigger issues and help improve my writing on deeper level.

3. We may have a difficult time finding the right editor: As writers, we research agents and editors before we query. We must do our research with editors too. There are many editing services available. Finding one that is reputable and that meshes with our writing style may pose a challenge. Rachelle Gardner has a list of editors on her website here. Usually an editor will let you send in a chapter or two to start with. My editor critiqued the first chapter of both my books which allowed me to see her style and how well we would work together. Because I liked how she critiqued my work, I wanted to keep going.

4. We may have to invest a lot of money: The cost of hiring an editor is not cheap. Sometimes we may be able to find an editor that is running a special. My editor offered her current clients a discount, so I took advantage of her special and started sending her my manuscript even though I wasn't finished writing it. I've spent at least $300 so far, and will spend that much or more for her to edit my next book. I consider myself fortunate to have got in on such a great deal. Usually it's not so cheap. But it's an investment in my writing career that will hopefully one day pay off.

Rachelle Gardner pointed me to the comment of a previous client as a great example of the PAY OFF. Here's what Austin said:

"When I retired from the Navy and quit the great astronaut chase, I had this burden again. . . to tell the story of what I'd dreamt of but had narrowly missed--being an astronaut. I wrote and wrote and then realized I had a long tome that no one cared about.

So I borrowed $7000 on my house, spent it on three successive developmental edits by a freelance editor, and forced myself to walk the talk of being a good writer. Linda Nathan ripped my lips off so many times I lost count. . . but her critical comments led me to learn to correct and to write better.

Then one day, after thousands of dollars, three years of editing and lots of prayer, I met. . .Rachelle Gardner who gave me a shot at publishing, and the rest is history.

If you are burdened to write, follow Jim Bell's advice. WRITE. WRITE. WRITE. Then follow mine. . . invest in a freelance editor and make yourself better. Edit, rewrite, learn, read. Invest in yourself. You'll never regret it."

The cost is high. But if we're sacrificing so many other things to write and bring our skills to the next level, then why not sacrifice our money too?

What is the biggest disadvantage for you in hiring an editor? If cost wasn't a factor, would you hire one? Why or why not?

Remember: The key is finding someone who can objectively critique our work. Whether freelance editor or critique group, the important thing is getting objective feedback.

Advantage: Professional Editors (Part 1)

Yesterday we listed many things that may give us an advantage as new writers seeking to make it out of the slush pile.

One advantage is hiring the help of a professional editor or writing coach. This may be a bit of a controversial subject. But I'd like to take a few minutes to discuss the benefits of using one.

I started using a professional editor, Tiffany Colter of Writing Career Coach, to help critique my contest entries. I decided to continue using her for two reasons:

1. I knew I needed objective feedback, but I didn't have the time or energy at this point in my life to devote to the give and take of a critique group.


2. Once I started getting her feedback, I realized she has pushed me to think deeper about my writing than I ever thought possible and is helping me bring it to a higher level.

Rachelle Gardner recently left a comment to one of my posts and it pertains to the issue of hiring professional editors. Here's what she said:

"Just to add my two cents... I'm a little surprised that any writer striving to be a professional would come down so hard against paying for editing or manuscript help. Many working writers with multiple book contracts work with editors on their books prior to delivering them to the publisher. This means those authors are paying out of their own pocket to get objective assistance and make sure they deliver their best possible work to their publisher.

Of course, once you're contracted with a publisher, your publisher will spend literally thousands of dollars on getting your book edited. Editing is a valuable service that often makes the difference between having a good book a great book.

Yes, it's true, we all should be working as hard as we can on learning how to edit our own work. But nothing can substitute for the objective eye of an outsider, someone who is skilled in bringing the best out of you. You can edit your book yourself until you're blue in the face; and then you'd be shocked at how many things an objective editor would find to improve.

Now, I understand that finances play a huge role in our ability or inability to hire an editor. We need to make smart financial choices. But I'd recommend we avoid harboring some kind of ideological bias against paying for an editor. Most of us need editing!

I'm pretty sure that Jody's use of a writing coach made the difference between a book that I want to love and one that I really DO love. (Well, actually TWO books that I love.)"

As Rachelle mentioned, there are some drawbacks to hiring an editor. Cost is one of the biggest. Another is the tendency to grow lazy and sloppy in our own editing. I'd like to tackle both of those issues further tomorrow.

But for today, I'd like to know your opinions. What we writers really need is OBJECTIVE feedback on our work. Do you think writers can get enough quality feedback from critique partners, groups, or beta readers? Or do we ever reach a point when that's not enough anymore and we need to seek professional help? If so, when is that point?

More Advantages

Recently we talked about the difficulties new authors face in trying to get through the traditional publishing door. Let's face it, getting in is tough.

It goes without saying that we have to study the craft of writing, perfect our skills, and have an excellent story. But sometimes that's not enough to get noticed and move ahead.

Are there ways for unpublished writers to get an advantage, to get a few steps closer to the door? Here's my list again, and then I've added all of your ideas for getting an advantage:

• Win a writing contest.
• Find an incredible, fresh, never-been-touched story idea.
• Look for an untapped niche in the genre market.
• Meet an editor or agent at a writing conference and spark their interest.
• Make regular comments on agent blogs.
• Hire the help of a professional editor.
• Target specific agents for our genre.
• Make friends with an author who can pass along your manuscript.
• Think outside the box and be flexible.
• Never, ever give up; writing is subjective.
• Submit new works consistently to the same editors.
• Share our writing widely.
• Volunteer at a conferences or workshops.
• Trust God and pray for guidance.

Will doing any of these things really help move us ahead?

From personal experience I can say that finaling in a contest gave me a push to the top of the slush pile. But I did many of the other things listed above too: I found a fresh story idea, hired a professional editor, targeted specific agents, never gave up, and ultimately trusted God for guidance.

Often it's the combination of hard work and perseverance that eventually pays off. So, my question for you today is this: What is your next step? Which of the above suggestions are you working on to give you more of an advantage? Are there any new things you need to try?

More about my experience with professional editing tomorrow. . .

Persevering on the Path

Everyone shared some great thoughts yesterday about ways to make our blogs appealing to agents and editors who might stop by. Here are just a few of the suggestions:

• Links to samples of online publications of work
• Links to excerpts of manuscripts (not more than 10%)
• List of completed (and contracted) works
• Cover of book (s) you've written or contributed to
• Credentials and awards in blog profiles
• Links to website, FB, Twitter, etc.
• E-mail address for further contact

Thanks for so many great ideas! I'll be working on trying to implement some of them in the future. Jeanette Levellie offered an excellent reminder: the more bells and whistles we have the longer our pages take to load, especially for those with dial-up.

To sum up our week talking about contest results, check out this article Making Sense of Contest Results on Keli Gwyn's blog.

And finally, I really enjoyed reading Janna Qualman's blog post this week It's My Path. I loved the simple way she summed up the writing journey by saying that we have to step back and look at what's best for each of us individually without comparing our steps to others.

No matter where we're at on the writing journey, we'll be tempted to compare. Whether we're a young aspiring writer, newly agented, or even a published author, we all struggle with the comparison game. Believe it or not, even though I had one of my best weeks yet as a writer, I still found myself comparing and consequently feeling discouraged!

I have to remind myself that I'm on this writing path because ultimately I love writing, that I'd still write even if I was the only one.

Let's encourage one another today. Ultimately why do you write? And do you have anything to share that might encourage us all to keep on persevering?

Have a great Memorial Weekend! See you next Tuesday!

Agent Visits

Over the last couple of weeks I've had the honor of having three agents visit my blog.

The first agent was Wendy Lawton of Books & Such Literary Agency. I regularly read her agency blog and occasionally make comments. Last week Wendy blogged a series about the various things that signal the Kiss of Death to an author. I posted an ordinary comment. When I checked back the next day, I noticed she'd written a personal response to my comment. Her last line was: BTW I like your blog.

The second agent to visit my blog last week was Steve Laube of Steve Laube Agency. You may remember I quoted one of his statistics last week. (Click here to read it.) Steve was kind enough to write a comment in response to my post that day. I'm still not exactly sure how he found my blog, but I was excited he took the time to stop by.

The third agent was my new agent, Rachelle Gardner of Word Serve Literary. She honored me by reading through some of my posts, and she even made a comment on the same post as Steve Laube. (I will definitely be blogging about both of their comments next week!)

I learned a few lessons from these visits.

• Posting comments on agent blogs might be a useful way to help agents get to know who we are. (This is still debatable!)


• Make sure we guard what we say on our blogs because we never know who's watching! (And always say really wonderful things about agents!)


• Put an effort into making our blogs more attractive to agents and editors who might pop by for a surprise visit.

It's the last lesson that I'm ruminating on the most. I realized I don't have any way to give an agent or editor more information about my novels or myself as a writer. Of course if I had a website link, then they could click over to find out more about me there.

But even if we do have websites (which I'm planning to start soon), we still might benefit from having sidebar links on our blogs. The guests of honor could quickly and easily read more about our books, publishing history, platform, etc.

What do you think? Should we put links into our sidebars to help promote our writing careers? If so, what kinds of things would be most important to include?

We never know who might stop by our blogs for a visit and we want to make their stay as memorable as possible! (I'm considering having on hand a box of raspberry-filled Ghiradelli dark chocolate squares. *wink*)

Contest Summary (Part 2)

I'm humbled by your outpouring of congratulations. You guys are the best! When I shared my agent news with real life friends, I didn't get near the excitement. But as we've said before, it takes a writer to know one! So, thank you!

Writing is a long, uphill climb. All of those accomplishments along the way can push us forward, perhaps even give us an advantage. Finaling in a contest was just the push I needed.

In the Genesis, the judges used a numerical system to rate contestants in 20 different areas. Then they also provided an additional sheet of overall comments.

Before making changes, first I looked at consistencies among the judges. I found a few! But I also found a few contradictions too.

Judging Consistencies:

• Clarify setting in opening paragraphs: For one of my entries, all three judges remarked that I needed to clarify my setting in the first few pages. I'd obviously zoomed ahead with my hook and action and not woven in enough detail to ground my readers.

• Don't overdo short sentences or paragraphs: Two judges remarked that I use a lot of short sentences and paragraphs and that I shouldn't overdo it otherwise it could detract from the moments where a one sentence paragraph would be powerful.

• Add more sensory details: One judge on each entry thought I needed a few more sensory details. Since I tend to write tight and fast-paced, I find myself skipping over smells, sounds, touch, and taste. While I don't want to force them into my writing, I do need to find more natural ways to bring them out.

Judging Contradictions:

• Pacing: One judge said she preferred me to slow down the action so I could develop the richness of my characters and setting; another judge thought I should consider cutting just a bit because she thought it "starts to drag a little."

• Character motivation: One judge wasn't clear about MC's motivation and internal conflict, but another judge said that I did a "good job of creating" my characters and that the conflict was "really great."

• Dialogue: One judge said "this is the author's greatest challenge." Another judge said my dialogue is "very good" and that I "write very tight which is excellent."

Of course there are always judges' comments that make you say "HUH?" Those are kinda fun too! I'll only mention one: COMMAS. What's the deal with commas? I must be pretty terrible with them because judges kept marking the places they thought I'd missed them. All I have to say is STORY trumps commas!

Have you ever had any contrasting comments about your writing? Or a critique that made you say "Huh"?

Getting feedback on our writing is always hard, even when it's sprinkled with some positives. What are some ways you've learned to handle getting feedback on your writing without letting it discourage you?

Agent News!

As many of you know, one of my novels has been sitting in the slush pile agent Rachelle Gardner for a long time. I'm sure you've heard me lament about it plenty!

After finaling in the Genesis Contest, I decided now might be a good time to follow up with Rachelle and let her know about the contest results. So, I wrote her an email, told her both my manuscripts finaled, and spelled out some goals I had for getting them ready to pitch to editors at the ACFW Conference.

You can imagine my excitement when she emailed back and asked me to resubmit 50 pages of both manuscripts to her along with a synopsis for each. I jumped on the chance and got them to her Sunday evening.

Yesterday morning, Rachelle and I emailed back and forth a few times. Then finally she sent me an email that made my heart stop. I'd love to have a phone conversation with you sometime soon. Could you send me your number and some possible good times to talk?

For those who read Rachelle's blog, you know she recently posted about making THE CALL to authors. (Read about it here.) I prayed and hoped when my phone rang a short time later that Rachelle was making the call to offer me representation and not to tell me I needed to take a hike back to the drawing board!

She immediately put my fears to rest. She gave me the kind of news I'd been waiting to hear for a LONG time: she liked my work and wanted to offer to represent me!

The rest of the story will have to wait for future posts. But I will say this, Rachelle said she was excited about my projects! And she gave me a list of things I need to start working on. I'm going to be VERY busy, very, very busy!

And, Rachelle is just as sweet and fantastic on the phone as she is in her blog. I consider myself privileged and blessed to have the opportunity to work with her!

Thanks for letting me share this with you today! I know all of you writing friends will understand exactly how excited I am!

Contest Summary (Part 1)

I just want to give you all a big cyber HUG! You guys are just awesome! Your kind words (along with several pots of coffee!) carried me through two long days of revisions on my Genesis contest entries.

But now my entries are back under the spotlight. I returned them for second round judging. The top five finalists for each category will compete against one another. Then the category winners will be announced at the ACFW conference held in Denver in September.

The second round judges consist of agents and editors. The historical romance judges are all editors from major CBA houses: Rebecca Germany from Barbour, Ami McConnell from Thomas Nelson, and Emily Rodmell for Steeple Hill.

I'm truly honored and excited to think that real live editors will actually take the time to read something I wrote, even if it's only the first 15 pages of my novel. I will value each and every word of their feedback, even if it hurts! But what I'm really hoping, is that the 15 pages will spark their interest to read more.

15 pages. It doesn't seem like enough for judges and editors to determine the writing ability of an author or the real value of a book. But the reality is, sometimes we have even less than 15 pages to impress. We hear stories about agents and editors passing on a book simply after the first paragraph!

What do you think? Are 15 pages really enough to determine the writing ability of an author or the worth of their book? Do you think contest judges can be fair when they only have 15 pages to look at?

I personally don't think the first 15 pages will always accurately portray our true writing level.

• On the one hand, the initial pages may over-represent those who spend hours and hours perfecting them, but lack the ability to carry the skill through the whole book.
• On the other hand, the first pages may under-represent those who get off to a low start, but have told a spectacular story through the rest of the book.

I'm curious to know your opinions. Are 15 pages enough?

Genesis Contest Finalist!

I'm so excited I can hardly sit as I type this post! I double finaled in the Genesis Contest through ACFW! Both of my historical romance entries made it to the final round!

Over the past couple of weeks many of us have been chewing our fingernails to stubs in anticipation of the results! Every time the phone rang we'd go into near convulsions running to it--just in case it was THE call, because only finalists get THE call.

I'm not exactly sure when my call came. I was gone for a few hours today and when I walked in the door, of course the first place I looked was my answering machine. Low and behold it was blinking with a new message. I prayed it wasn't another of the hundred-a-day ad calls that I get.

End of story? I got THE call from Mindy Obenhaus telling me that both of my entries finaled in the contest. So what did I do next? I jumped up and down then I screamed, and screamed, and screamed! (My cats are still traumatized and in permanent hiding under the bed.)

Anyway, I just had to share the excitement with all of you wonderful writing friends! I know you will truly understand what an exciting time this is for me! You are the best! I appreciate you so much!

P.S. I'll be taking a break from my usual Friday post. I have two days to polish both of my entries and send them back in for the final round of judging. So you know what I'll be doing every spare minute from now until Saturday night at midnight!

Getting an Advantage

*Update: Many thanks to agents Rachelle Gardner and Steve Laube for taking the time to leave comments on this post!*

Most of us agreed that the standards keep getting tougher for new writers. How can we possibly keep up with the ever increasing expectations?

If you're standing in the LONG line, waiting to get into the traditional publishing door, what are some ways to move ahead in the line? Are there any ways new writers can get an advantage?

Yesterday many of you may have read agent Steve Laube's interview over at Seekerville. He was asked: How many new authors do you take on each year? Are you interested in submissions from new authors? His answer: I won't say no unless I've seen it. But I say "No" about 99.99% of the time.

His answer depressed me! Now maybe not all agents are quite that limited in taking new authors, but the query-over-the-transom-into-the-slush-pile is definitely not an easy way to get into the traditional world of publishing.

One of my manuscripts has been sitting in the slush pile of an agent for months. I feel fortunate my query and sample chapter perked her attention and that she asked to see my full. But honestly, I've almost give up hope that she'll ever look at it.

What are ways new writers can get an advantage and move out of the slush pile? Of course it goes without saying that we have to master the craft of writing and be able to tell an incredible story.

But nowadays that's not enough. There are a lot of great writers who are telling great stories. So what else can we do to perk the attention of an agent/editor? Here are a few ideas I had:

• Win a writing contest.
• Find an incredible, fresh, never-been-touched story idea.
• Look for an untapped niche in the genre market.
• Meet an editor or agent at a writing conference and spark their interest.
• Make regular comments on agent blogs (do you think this will really help?).
• Hire the help of a professional editor.

Do you have any other ideas? Can new writers really find ways to get an advantage and cut ahead of all the others in line? Or should we patiently wait for our turn?

Thanks for sharing your ideas!

Raising the Bar

Yesterday we talked about two doors in the publishing industry. New writers have an incredibly hard time getting into the second door, traditional publishing.

Most of the large traditional publishing houses have a limited number of slots available for new writers. More writers are lining up, hoping to get picked for one of those slots. As a result, the competition grows more intense and new writers have to search for ways to be better than others. This pushes the standards and expectations of new writers continually higher.

The bar gets raised higher and higher and higher, until it looks like we won't ever be able to make it over! Sometimes I wonder if a new writer has to be nearly perfect. Here are a few of the high standards I've noticed:

• Perfect query letter: Thousands of articles and books are available to teach us how to write a winning letter. All it takes is a misspelled word, forgotten period, too much information or too little--and our query is easily deleted.

• Perfect first page: How often are we told that an agent/editor won't read past the first page (or first paragraph) if the story doesn't hold their attention? It doesn't matter how good the rest of the book is, if we don't grab them from the start, we've lost them.

• Perfect writing craft: No adverbs, no passive verbs, tight writing, words we're not suppose to use. . .new writers have to stick to the rules, even if the majority of best sellers don't.

• Perfect ideas: We're expected to find that elusive, never-been-told story or idea. And then once we find it, we're expected to present it in a fresh, one-of-a-kind voice.

Have you noticed the standard bar for new writers getting higher? What are some of the expectations that frustrate you? I give you permission to rant today!

Tomorrow we'll talk about advantages that might help us jump over that bar.

Two Doors

I think we can all agree that the development of technology in our modern culture has opened the publishing door wider, spurring more people to pursue writing in one form or another.

But what does that mean for writers today?

If we keep the analogy of the door, then I would say there are two main doors: a door marked non-traditional publishing and one labeled traditional publishing. Because of the wide open doors, both have seen an influx of writers. But let's look at each door separately for a moment.

Door #1 non-traditional publishing: In one sense writing has never been easier; anyone who wants to write can stroll through this door. This includes blogs, e-books, self-publishing, or small publishing companies. Writers usually don't need to wait in line, pay dues, find the right connections, or search for an agent to move them ahead of the others.

Door #2 traditional publishing: This door opens to the world of big name publishing companies like Zondervan, Tyndale, Harlequin, HarperCollins, etc. The door to traditional publishing is open wider than ever before, but the line to get in is phenomenally long. Writers usually have to bide their time, pay dues (i.e. conferences), make connections, and fight to find an agent who can help them in.

Many writers standing in line for door #2, traditional publishing, get fed up with the long wait. Days and months, even years pass waiting in line. While waiting we may feel like we have to jump through hoops, smooze the right people, and draw attention to ourselves--all in the name of getting closer to that door.

What door are you trying to get through, non-traditional publishing or traditional? And why are you choosing that door? I'm curious to know which way you're headed and why!

Ever Widening Door

Lately I've been pondering a couple of questions. Are there really more aspiring writers than ever before? Are the expectations for new writers getting higher with each passing year?

When I think about the entertainment industry in general, specifically music and movies, I can't keep up with all of the actors/actresses and singers. New "stars" appear every day. With the explosion of cable TV, Netflix, and iTunes, more wannabe's are able to slip through the ever-widening entertainment door.

What about the publishing industry? Has that door opened wider too? One need only browse through Amazon books to see the incredible number of books being written. Or Books-A-Million--the title says it all.

Just as in movies and music, the number of "star" authors are increasing. I'm continually reading author interviews and reviews of new books on different blogs. When I browse the shelves at the bookstore, I'm often overwhelmed at the choices. Every time I turn around I learn about a new author and another great book.

Agents have complained of flooded inboxes and the astronomical rise in the queries they're receiving. So not only are there lots of new authors, there are even more unpublished writers trying to get in the door.

Have you noticed the ever widening door? Are there really more published authors and books than ever before or does the access of internet marketing just make it seem that way? Also, why do you think there are so many new writers?

This week I'd like to discuss how the growth in the writing industry affects unpublished writers. More tomorrow. . .

Writer Moms

Thank you all for sharing your thoughts this week about friendship. From Facebook to family, we writers need a circle of support. It's hard to go the long haul alone. Without encouragement, we'd be tempted to give up too easily.

Since Mother's Day is on Sunday, I couldn't help thinking about being a Writer Mom. Ideally I would like to say my mothering duties take precedence over my writing.

Far too often, I find myself falling short of my ideal. Light bulbs don't get changed (thank goodness for long spring evenings!), soap dispensers sit empty, dog slobber decorates windows, outgrown clothes hang in closets. The perfect meals, the perfect home, the perfect wardrobes. . .I've learned to let these things slide.

And yet I find myself letting other things slide too, the more important things like: stopping my writing to play a game of scrabble with my son or taking a break to push my daughter on the swing. I've caught myself only half-listening to something one of them is telling me, or even ignoring a discipline issue because I'm too busy to stop and deal with it.

Guilt seeps in. I remind myself my children will grow up fast and that I shouldn't let a single precious moment pass by. I truly want to train them diligently, listen to them whole-heartedly, and delight in the time we have together. I fail so often but pray for the wisdom to juggle my mothering and writing better.

In spite of all my short-comings as a Writer Mom, God gives my children the grace to endure. In fact, I think they even still love me! One of my daughters recently adorned me with a medal. Do you know what it said: Best Mom. (That's it above, staples and all!)

So, Writer Moms (and Dads!) in what ways do you struggle to balance writing and parenting? Do you ever neglect household duties to write? How does writing affect your relationships with your children? Please tell me I'm not alone in this struggle!

And for all you hard-working Writer Moms: Happy Mother's Day!

P.S. Sorry for the lapse in accountability! We'll get back to it next week!

Family Support

This week we've chatted about cyber friends and real live friends. Today, let's take a step even closer to home. In fact, let's open the door and step inside!

Does your family support your writing? Some of you touched on this yesterday, but let's explore it further.

How supportive is your extended family, the ones who don't live with you? My mom is one of my best encouragers. She is the first person I call with any writing news. When I got my first notice in the mail that one of my short fiction pieces was going to be published, within minutes I was doing a jig on the phone with her.

What about intermediate family, the ones who have to live with a writing-crazed fanatic? How supportive are they of your writing? When my twins play Barbies, their dolls are writers who are always busy on their lap tops. My three year old pretends the calculator is her lap top and she sits at the table next to me and does her "writing."

In all seriousness, we long for support from our families. We want them to be our loudest, most excited cheerleaders. But in reality, they often get the brunt of the writing burden. They get less of our time, energy, and attention. Even when we're not writing, our minds are filled with our stories instead of them.

If we want our extended and intermediate family to support our writing, I think it's important to involve them in the journey. I'm still learning how to balance writing and family time. But here are a few ways I involve my family in the excitement:

• Share daily goals: My kids regularly ask me, "Mom, did you meet your word count goals for the day?" Even my three year old will ask me, as if she has any clue what word count is!

• Plan a family celebration for writing milestones: After I finished writing my last book, we went out to dinner to celebrate the accomplishment as a family. When I finish my current WIP, I want to have a party!

• Thank them their understanding: I'm planning to take my family on a special vacation once I finally publish a book. I've told them that will be my thank you to them for helping me accomplish my dream.

Back to my original questions: How supportive is your extended family? How about your intermediate family? And what are ways you've learned to involve them on your writing journey? I would love more ideas!

Real Life Friends

This week we're talking about friendships. Yesterday we had some great discussion on cyber friends. In summary, I think we can all agree that it's possible to have genuine frienships through cyber space.

However, we risk the danger of hiding behind our computers and sharing selectively, perhaps only telling what makes us look best in the eyes of our cyber friends. It takes courage to be real, even in cyberspace.

Today I'd like to bring the discussion a little closer to home. What about those flesh and blood friends? Does such a thing even exist anymore?!

Of course, I'm kidding! I'm sure we all have plenty of real life friends (as opposed to cyber friends). We can't hide as easily behind masks with real life friends; they can usually see us for who we really are. But what I want to know is: how well do those friends support your writing?

I'm blessed with a wonderful group of like-minded friends. We're all in approximately the same stage of parenting, we share our struggles and joys, and our children love playing together. They're the kind of friends who would take the shirt off their back for me if I needed it. I'm sure you have those kind of friends too.

However. . .many of these friends just don't "get" my writing. Here are a few of the kinds of responses I've received when I've shared writing news with various friends:

• "Writing a book? That's nice. . . Um, so how's the weather?"


• "That's great you're writing a book. I'm thinking of writing one too. I have this really neat idea."


• "How exciting! Is your book in the bookstore yet? I'll be the first to buy it!"

Maybe you've had similar responses that range from complete disinterest to total misunderstanding of how long the process takes, or that friend who talks about the best seller he is going to write.

The bottom line is that it takes a writer to understand one. No one but another writer understands just how hard this writing journey is, how many hours we labor, how many craft books we've studied, how many edits we've made, how many years we've plodded forward without any accolades.

What kinds of responses have you gotten from your real-life, non-writing friends? What response is hardest for you to take? Disinterest? Misunderstanding? Ignorance?

Let's commiserate together! Share what bothers you most because we will understand!

Cyber Friends

Blogging has "Followers." I recently learned that Facebook has "Friends." And apparently the more "friends" you have the better, at least in terms of networking and platform building. As I've browsed through different Facebook pages, I've been amazed at the numbers of "friend" totals that some people have!

Maybe I'm playing word semantics, but I must ask the question anyway. Is Facebook distorting the meaning of the word "friend?" Would I consider someone from high school that I haven't seen or talked to in 20 years a "friend"? Could I truly call the big name authors and agents "friends" even though I only admire them from a distance? They might be on my Facebook list of "friends" but are they really friends?

What constitutes a friend in the truest sense of the word? We all value different qualities in our friends. but certainly we can all agree that a friendship must involve a genuine relationship. My pocket Webster defines friend as: close companion.

More specifically as writers, we need genuine friends who can encourage and challenge us in our writing journey and we can do the same for them.

Do Facebook friends fit that definition? Are they close companions or are they another "list" of people to help us in our quest for publication? For that matter, do any cyber friends live up to that definition?

I think I'm beginning to form some genuine relationships with cyber friends, but since I'm still fairly new to the cyber world, I'm not sure how it will all work out.

So, what's your take? Do you think our modern cyber world is distorting the meaning of the word "friend"? How would you define a true friend and can you find that kind of friendship in the cyber world?

I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts!

Be My Friend?

How did you do with your weekend writing goals? Please tell us in the comments how you did!

Katie did you finish 4 scenes? Sherrinda did you write 2000 words? Marybeth how did the editing go? T. Anne did you get in 2000 on your WIP? Krista did you edit 2 chapters on book 1 and write 1000 words? Jamie how did you do with your 2500? Jeanette did you write your blog posts and revise 2 chapters? Jeannie, I'm afraid to ask if you finished your last chapter!? Terri did you get close to 60,000 yet? Wendy did you write 500? Everyone else, how did you do? Robin did you get in 500?

Many times writing is a solitary venture. I appreciate having a community of writing friends that can hold me accountable and encourage me. Thank you! (And, yes, I squeaked in my 1500 for the weekend!)

Speaking of friends, I recently joined Facebook. I did so for a few reasons:

• Curiosity: I'd heard it mentioned and wanted to see what the hype was about.


• Agents & Editors: They're pushing it as another way to network.


• Connecting: I thought it might be a fun way to connect with family and friends.

After I joined Facebook, it only took me five seconds to realize I needed "friends" to join my homepage or I would be alone in my corner of the Facebook world. Thanks to Jill Kemerer, I'm not an absolute reject. She linked me to some of her "friends." (Thanks, Jill!)

The whole process of inviting "friends" to join my Facebook page has started me thinking about "friends." Thus, I'm devoting this week to talking about friendships. How can a person have over 1,000 "friends" on Facebook? More on that tomorrow. . .

My question for you today is this: Have you joined Facebook? If no, why not? If yes, what were your reasons for joining?

And, I now have a Facebook widget on my sidebar. Won't you be my friend? *Smile*

Progress on the Journey

Thank you for all of your great ideas on how to balance blogging and writing. I REALLY appreciate all of you who gave advice and shared openly about your struggles.

Now, time to check our progress on the journey. For those who've been around my blog long enough, you know what I ask every Friday: Did you meet your writing goals for the week?

I wrote my usual 2500 words during the week on my WIP. I know it doesn't sound like a lot, but if you look at my side bar, you'll see my progress is steady!

What about the weekend? Do you have any weekend writing goals? That's another one of my usual Friday questions! Since I don't have a lot of writing time during the week, I make a concentrated effort to get extra done on the weekend. I know many of you do too. Tell us your weekend goals in the comments and then on Monday I'll ask you how you did!

I want to encourage you (and myself) to keep writing. We will always have other things pulling us from our writing, especially blogging. Natalie Goldberg in Wild Mind: Living the Writer's Life says this:

• There is no excuse. If you want to write, write. This is your life. You are responsible for it. You will not live forever. Don't wait. Make the time now, even if it is ten minutes once a week.

• Keep your hand moving. When you sit down to write, whether it's for ten minutes or an hour, once you begin, don't stop. If an atom bomb drops at your feet eight minutes after you have begun and you were going to write for ten minutes, don't budge.

• There is difference between procrastination and waiting. Procrastination is pushing aside or putting off writing. It is thinking the moment is tomorrow. Waiting is when you are already in the work and you are feeding it and being fed by it. Know the difference between the two. Don't procrastinate. Write now.

And remember: Writers write; everyone else makes excuses! Bickman